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N.O.B.

Reminds me of my last trip to Bucee’s…

Some people were standing around this grill “That sure is a nice grill”…

So, I look over….$1,500. Buc-ee is insane. Some poor redneck is gonna spend his tax refund on that. People are going bankrupt at Bucee’s. I know they are.
Does Bucee’s have a tattoo shop in it? Seems like it would be a great place for one.
 
Does Bucee’s have a tattoo shop in it? Seems like it would be a great place for one.

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Guys, gals, trannies, non-binaries, otherkins, etc... lend me your ears. Something extraordinary happened to me this weekend and I feel compelled to share with you, my Wildcat friends. For the past few weeks I've been, well, drifting. Directionless. Through a combination of depression over nagging injuries and the resultant plummet in physical conditioning, I've been essentially rudderless -- like an F-14 adrift at sea AND BTW IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MY NEW MOVIE THEN YOU'RE NOT A REAL AMERICAN. I mean, sure, I'd occasionally shit-post on the Twitter machine and cuss out politicians and aggravate anti-gun nuts who hate my beloved AR-15, but telling LGB to "f#ck off" just didn't give me the same thrill. And of course every now and then I'd peruse my fave porn sites to oogle titties and such, but something was different. I just couldn't seem to buy a thrill.

All that changed yesterday. I'm still tryin to fully understand exactly what happened. Honestly I don't think I'll ever be able to understand the full magnitude of the experience. I got out of bed at my usual 5:00 a.m. G.O.T. (God's Own Time). As I walked through the dimly-lit kitchen to the garage to begin my workout, I noticed "something" on the island. Since I could tell it wasn't moving and didn't have eight legs, I didn't even give it a second glance. However, about an hour later, as I was coming in for my mid-workout coffee rejuvenation, I was struck by lightning. This is what I saw...

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It's hard to describe the full range emotions than shot through every fiber of my being at the speed of light the instant I realized what I was staring at. The nearest Buc-ee's is at least 3.5 hours away and no one in the household has made the pilgrimage yet. WTF was going on? My mind reeled, my heart raced, beads of sweat appeared on my forehead and I'm pretty sure I began speaking in tongues. I stared at the inexplicable bag of chocolatey manna that buck-toothed beaver had divinely conjured for what seemed like hours. I was simultaneously terrified and exhilarated by the miracle I had just witnessed. I wanted to eat them, of course -- as if they were some sort of fructose-infused communion wafers -- but I was sore afraid. What if this was some devilish trick? What if opening the bag unleashed a band of hairy, flat-tailed furies to melt my face? Or was it simply the Great Beaver giving me a sign? I couldn't be sure.

Stunned, I simply returned to the garage to finish my workout and contemplate what had happened. Sadly, when I came back to the kitchen the bag was gone. I'm still not certain this wasn't merely a hallucination brought on by a combination of copious THC ingestion (in the form of a self-contained pen), several droppers full of raspberry flavored oil, and a large glass of Bailey's and vodka flavored with Hershey's syrup the night before. No matter though, because I'm now a believer. All hail the beaver.
 
Mav, you just experienced the return of Jesus. THe came down uponeth and blessed you with a bag of Buccee's.


This morning, I had a similar type of wtf situation that I still can't figure out exactly. It's a poop situation. Avarian poop. I walk out to my car, parked in my attached carport, and there's a big mess of purple bird shit right up inside the corner, next to the ceiling of my attached carport. It defies science far as I can tell. There is only one way that bird put his shit in that spot, and I drew it up just so we're all clear what this bastard bird did. He somehow perched himself vertically upside down and shit where no other bird could possibly shit.

gdit how do i post a stupid picture on here???? Sick of this crap.
 
I have a vague memory of breaking down the final Karate Kid fight (where Daniel ridiculously employed the "crane" pose to temporarily hypnotize Johnny into leading with his face) years ago before we fought the revolution with the D-League, and I was reminded of this after seeing this tweet...
 
Look up Gary Gulman talkin about the Karate Kid. It’s hilarious and spot on.

Mash, use https://postimages.org/

I was actually at THE Buc-ee’s in Richmond yesterday, but I don’t remember swinging by Mav’s place. I’ve been to A Buc-ee's five times in my life and I’m not sure I’ve ever walked out under $75.

Hilton Head in two weeks. Found an absolute deal right on the beach by a first time renter. Highway robbery on my part. Gonna live like the other half for a week.

I don’t like this heat nonsense in mid-June. Concerns about July and August. Insane. Third highest dew point ever in Lex-town.

EKU might be the ugliest campus in the US. Nothing against the town or the school, it’s just aesthetically shitty in every way. Could be because there were no co-eds walking around.

Speaking of co-eds, if you get a chance, peep some of the women’s basketball team pics. There’s a new Larry Vaught special on the team. You’ll know it when you see it.

Stay cool, NOB.
 
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