Without a doubt the worst Christmas movie. Everyone has dead eyes.
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Without a doubt the worst Christmas movie. Everyone has dead eyes.
We had a Sigma Chi/SAE Pig Roast shirt that had 30 pictures of pigs in different sex positions. I mean it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last week, 4-year old Dominic told my daughter in pre-K that his dad told him there is no such thing as Santa, and that parents are the ones that move elf on the shelf around every night.
I hope Dominic's dad loses his job for Christmas.
I hope Dominic's dad loses his job for Christmas.
Had some dope oxfords that were stolen intermittently over my 3 years in the house that I would probably still be wearing today tbh.
-RIP Mr. Earl Cox. He was a good one.
-RIP Mr. Earl Cox. He was a good one.
You won't believe what happens next! The answer is jaw-dropping.
Growing up in a mostly Jewish suburb of Chicago...the jewish kids told us pretty quick that Santa was BS.
The Hanukkah Fairy was totally real though.
The Hanukkah Fairy was totally real though.
The elf thing is absolutely ridiculous. All 3 of my kids believe in it and I cannot understand how. We've gotten super lazy with it this year too. Like, last night we forgot to move it until I was thisclose to rem sleep so I just grabbed it, stuck it in my bathroom and squirted shaving cream all over it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Idk. Kids went bonks this morning. Whatever. My daughter picked it up last week though and my 5 yr old absolutely shrieked like a woman getting lit on fire. It was fantastic. Of course I had to pull it out of her hand and carry it around the house like a damn wounded baby bird. Carefully put it down on the counter and act like EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK KIDS YOUR SISTER DIDNT KNOW I BET SANTA WILL UNDERSTAND - it's so ridiculous
Jews just get skittish around fireplaces. Right, Willy?
From BBdK's article:
"In August, they struck up conversations with people outside a strip club, the Great Alaskan Bush Company."
^ went there for my birthday last month. Not a bad joint.
"In August, they struck up conversations with people outside a strip club, the Great Alaskan Bush Company."
^ went there for my birthday last month. Not a bad joint.
I can't imagine the Scrooge McDuck levels of money those Elf on the Shelf folks are rolling around in. I mean, the elves probably cost 15 cents each to make, and then you throw in a crappily illustrated and written book, charge a buttload of money, and watch them fly off the shelves. What a racket. JELLY.
What blows my mind is they advertise those little bastards on tv now!! On channels kids watch! Like, I was watching the amazing world of gumball or something last week and an elf on the shelf commercial came on and I just sat there frozen in fear hoping the kids didn't realize that they are SELLING THE GOTDAMN ELVES AT TARGET. Fortunately my kids are beautiful but dumb as rocks and sat there with their eyes glazed over thinking about creative ways to hit me in the dick. Close call
I figured the odds of me getting one where slim to none, so I've decided to use a Raspberry Pie and have basically every Nintendo and Super Nintendo game ever made.
So instead of paying $60 for $30 games, I'll be paying about $85 for every game.
allegedly
THERE ARE SEVEN REASONS THAT FAT KID NEEDED TO LAY OFF BURGERS. NUMBER FOUR WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!
Are you drunk, Booker?
Maybe this was understood by "techies" but I just assumed that lil NES was meant to be played on your TV and not a computer so I'm sitting 2 ft holding this tiny controller looking dumb af playing games that suck ass because it reminds me of the good ol days.
The photographer was there to record that kid's a capella version of "Mary Did You Know", what happened next took his breath away
Tuesday at 3:30, isn't everyone drunk and masturbating?
Wonder what Bookers Japanese colleagues (who already hate him) would think about him hacking their national gaming system?
Everyone had thought the cameras had stopped rolling . . . especially her!
All I care about this week is torching North Carolina. Get out of here with your elf shit.
Speaking of elves, I can't be the only one who thinks this.
I've noticed that when Brad Calipari is in the game, he looks a bit like a midget. I know he's full-sized, probably taller than me; but, he's obviously way shorter than most other players out there, and the way his body is proportioned it makes him look kind of like a midget.
I'm not the only one that sees that, right?
I've noticed that when Brad Calipari is in the game, he looks a bit like a midget. I know he's full-sized, probably taller than me; but, he's obviously way shorter than most other players out there, and the way his body is proportioned it makes him look kind of like a midget.
I'm not the only one that sees that, right?
- Nubby arms
- Long torso
- Thick, short bowed legs
- Short steps with an almost waddle
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