D-League

[funKYcat75]

I love being married, but if something were to happen (divorce, death, whatever - that's not a threat, BTW) I wouldn't do it again. At this age I'd go it solo the rest of the way out.

 

[Kooky Kats]

I assume you're asking because you're in your mid-30s. If so, listen to me very carefully, and I do mean VERY carefully. Here are three simple rules, my young padawan, for you to follow:

1. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, get married. Period. I realize some of our esteemed colleagues may/will disagree, but DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM FOR THEY ARE TRULY UNDER THE SPELL OF A PARTICULARLY CUNNING SUCCUBUS AND THUS CANNOT HELP BUT SAY OTHERWISE. Fortunately, for you, I have been set free from the marriage Matrix and can give you an honest assessment. Conjure from the innermost depths of the your soul the worst hell on earth that you can possibly imagine...and multiply that by infinity raised to the infinite power, and THAT, my friend, is what marriage to a female homo sapiens sapiens is like.
2. If you are already married GET DIVORCED AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I'm completely serious. Call a competent attorney RIGHT F*+KING NOW.
3. See Rule #1.

Word.

I'd be doing DAMAGE to vaginas if I were single and in my 30's. Got married at 23. I blame my dead parents for not taking me aside and kicking me in the balls.

 

[Mashburned]

I wish a mf'er would try to marry me LOL.

Sheeeeeiiiiiiiittttttt

 

[Kooky Kats]

I assume you're asking because you're in your mid-30s. If so, listen to me very carefully, and I do mean VERY carefully. Here are three simple rules, my young padawan, for you to follow:

1. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, get married. Period. I realize some of our esteemed colleagues may/will disagree, but DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM FOR THEY ARE TRULY UNDER THE SPELL OF A PARTICULARLY CUNNING SUCCUBUS AND THUS CANNOT HELP BUT SAY OTHERWISE. Fortunately, for you, I have been set free from the marriage Matrix and can give you an honest assessment. Conjure from the innermost depths of the your soul the worst hell on earth that you can possibly imagine...and multiply that by infinity raised to the infinite power, and THAT, my friend, is what marriage to a female homo sapiens sapiens is like.
2. If you are already married GET DIVORCED AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I'm completely serious. Call a competent attorney RIGHT F*+KING NOW.
3. See Rule #1.

Go on...

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Running a wildcat and triple

This went over my head??? WTF is a wildcat & triple??? Is that what they call the Big Boy sandwich platter at the Shoney's in Lextown???

And WhoTF is that in the gif??? And why is he crying???

 

[Kooky Kats]

This went over my head??? WTF is a wildcat & triple??? Is that what they call the Big Boy sandwich platter at the Shoney's in Lextown???

And WhoTF is that in the gif??? And why is he crying???

You (of all people) don't get it?!?

 

[TriangleUKCat]

Kaiser, the internet is still real to him, dammit

 

[funKYcat75]

Not sure what the wildcat and triple thing was. Don't remember writing that.

The other gif should be well known. Explaining it makes it unfunny.

 

[55wildcat]

This went over my head??? WTF is a wildcat & triple??? Is that what they call the Big Boy sandwich platter at the Shoney's in Lextown???

And WhoTF is that in the gif??? And why is he crying???

embarrassed so yea +1

 

[argubs2]

Here's the question you ask yourself before seriously considering marrying a girl.

Would she hide or destroy evidence that could implicate you in a murder without batting an eye even when the details of said murder are morally ambiguous....or would she snitch?

If she would toss that gun or machete in a river for you, she's down to ride.

I got lucky and found one. Don't have faith I could ever find one again and wouldn't try.

Everything above was hypotheticals. Maybe.

 

[wildcatdonf]

Don't **** with Superman.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Here's the question you ask yourself before seriously considering marrying a girl.

Would she hide or destroy evidence that could implicate you in a murder without batting an eye even when the details of said murder are morally ambiguous....or would she snitch?

She'd complain... "Why did you do that? You were supposed to be picking up the cumin for the chili. You should take anger management class with my brother."

If she would toss that gun or machete in a river for you, she's down to ride.

"I just broke my thumb nail chopping goddamn Uhnions. I'm not throwing anything except my Pinot cork in the trash."


I got lucky and found one. Don't have faith I could ever find one again and wouldn't try.

Everything above was hypotheticals. Maybe.

 

[55wildcat]

Don't **** with Superman.

or a shovel..

Listening to my scanner and the way they report wrecks...SMH...Just now red chevy versus a pole, I'm bettin the pole won. Earlier car versus building, same money on the building..

Is it possible to be allergic to oxygen? and if so treatments?

 

[wildcatdonf]

I'm 46, but I would say spend as much time with your grandparents, parents and siblings as you can._If_you can enrich those relationships in any way then do it and don't take it for granted.

That a good one.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Not sure what the wildcat and triple thing was. Don't remember writing that.

The other gif should be well known. Explaining it makes it unfunny.

Well, me not knowing the gif's origin makes it even unfunnier (to me). Compounded by the fact that you captioned the unknown (to me) gif with "Running a wildcat & triple" makes it even more confusing and unfunier-er (to me).

But I digress…

However…what could be funny is coming up with all of the possibilities for what "running a wildcat & triple" could mean. So there's that. Thanks for that.

Sounds like something that 3/5 of the starting line-up might do with a groupie fan in the Wildcat Coal Miner's Lodge around 2am after a big win.

 

[55wildcat]

Grilled cheese sammich, claussen dill pickle slices, and campbell's bean wiff bacon soup fer suppa....good night for a dutch oven..

 

[argubs2]

hoping someone will text me asking to come hang out so I don't have to go to the bar alone and play trivia on the tv again.

Right in the feels.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Don't really understand people that tell others to never get married. I get they've had bad marriage experiences most likely but some people are just cut out to be damn good spouses and life partners. I got lucky in finding a chick that's sorta like a female me in her demeanor. We've never had a serious argument (granted we've only been married a year and 4 months but dated over a year prior to that). Our biggest argument was over what to name the daughter and I mean that was more just stress than actually verbally arguing.

I think if you can get it right and have that person by your side no matter what all the time, then go for it.

I do often think back to my late 20s living alone in Bowling Green right behind the mall, 5 minute drive to all bars, owning one dog, crushing ass all from 2011-2013. Do miss those days sometimes. But give me the stability of a good marriage, a wife that gives me plenty of personal space for working out, playing PlayStation, etc over being alone all the goddam time in a one bedroom apartment hoping someone will text me asking to come hang out so I don't have to go to the bar alone and play trivia on the tv again.

Partially agree with this in that I too was lucky to find the perfect mate for me. Oh so glad I waited as long as i did to tie the knot. Been happily married for 15 years.

However, i always at people still in the honeymoon phase of their marriage and their naivety. Just wait son your marriage is in it's infancy. Of course you haven't had any major arguments. You've only been together for less than 2-1/2 years.

Believe me when i say this…there will be some major conflicts and trials to overcome over the next 20-30 years. The "serious arguments" (or "discussions" as my wife and i call them) are coming…so prepare yourself. Your first true tests will come when that child is born. Your "plethora of free space" is about to be invaded…ever so slightly at first…but compounding over time. Prepare for that. Don't let it smack you in the face unaware.

How a couple is able to deal with those conflicts/arguments/discussions/trials will define your marriage and either strengthen it or cause the two of you to grow apart. I have seen plenty of "perfect couples" fall by the wayside and get divorced due to the inability to deal with that stuff amicably. Or because of a complete lack of communication. I'm talking about good friends that seem like the perfect match and that always got along. Then BOOM. Divorced. Some after 3-5 years…some after 20.

My best advice is learn how to pick your battles. Some are worth fighting...others are worth compromising. Learn compromising…with a quickness.

Get back to us in 5 years…and again at the 10 year mark…and so on…


Good luck, young grasshopper.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Speaking of dogs, how's the new pup, Kook?

Miss Penny Plissken is awesome. Full of goofiness. She's teething. So she's a gnawing machine right now.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Quite a while ago, I was indulging in some particularly vigorous internet porn, when I noticed one of the female thespians had a small tattoo of a white rabbit on her inner thigh. Intrigued, yet temporarily sated, I drifted to sleep following the climactic scene. The following day, I awoke (or was I dreaming?) to find myself confronted by an angry Sam "U.L.L." Jackson, exhorting me to "TAKE THE RED PILL MOTHERFU#KER, GO ON, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE-DARE YOU YOU MOTHERFU#KER TO TAKE THE RED PILL!!!"

In my confusion, I briefly hesitated -- and Sam "U.L.L." shot me in my GD thigh with Mr. 9 Millimeter. Suddenly, and sufficiently, alert, I quickly ingested the red pill, and my eyes have been opened to the horror that is marriage ever since.

So you see the Matrix, but you aren't FREED from the Matrix.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Already good at compromising. My biggest thing I don't wanna completely give up, and she understands, is working out. Being able to blow off that steam and stay in shape. Doesn't have to always be ball. Just lifting and ruining. And keeping on playing in those basketball leagues twice a year on Sundays. I can do that and I'm willing to give up whatever else. Oh and UK basketball.

I had her state in our vows the day of our marriage that she would love me through the good times and bad, even when UK loses. She said it. That's a contract with God. Can't break that.

Honestly we're both pretty good compromisers. I'm not that worried. Neither like arguing at all and would rather squash whatever problem before it blows up.

Again, that's great. Pretty much any/all relationships start out that way. Even the ones that wind up failing. And unless she is a complete idiot or wants to cash in on the life insurance policy early…she will forever want you to stay in shape and stay healthy. That aint gonna be your problem.

Biggest thing is don't ever kill the ability to communicate. Squashing an argument is great…sometimes. But don't let things fester on either side. That will be worse then going ahead and having an argument (discussion). Just remember to keep those arguments civil. Communication is key. Not squashing. Squashing some issues could lead to ginormous problems in the future.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Kooky & Speers…glad your mutts are fairing well.

 

[Mashburned]

Low sodium cream of chicken costs 2x as much as cream of chicken. Makes sense.

COOKING IS FOR GIRLS!!!!

 

[Mashburned]

Quite a while ago, I was indulging in some particularly vigorous internet porn, when I noticed one of the female thespians had a small tattoo of a white rabbit on her inner thigh. Intrigued, yet temporarily sated, I drifted to sleep following the climactic scene. The following day, I awoke (or was I dreaming?) to find myself confronted by an angry Sam "U.L.L." Jackson, exhorting me to "TAKE THE RED PILL MOTHERFU#KER, GO ON, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE-DARE YOU YOU MOTHERFU#KER TO TAKE THE RED PILL!!!"

In my confusion, I briefly hesitated -- and Sam "U.L.L." shot me in my GD thigh with Mr. 9 Millimeter. Suddenly, and sufficiently, alert, I quickly ingested the red pill, and my eyes have been opened to the horror that is marriage ever since.

Lollllllll

If I ever do get married (lol) I'm blaming *everything* on the this thread.

No hunny you don't understand. I'm addicted to The D. No!! Hunny you don't get it!!!!!

 

[Mashburned]

Kooky & Speers…glad your mutts are fairing well.

Ummm....THEY IS PURE BREAD!!!

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Ummm....THEY IS PURE BREAD!!!

All dogs are mutts to me. Even my sweet little pure bred white german shepherd mutt.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Racquetballing >>>> Squashing

I concur. Man, i miss playing racquetball. Used to have a great racquetball foe. We were exactly equal in skill level. Made for great matches and was a great workout. Then he got married. Told her one time he was going to play racquetball and went to the bar instead.

See Speers…this is what I'm talking about, man. Don't eff it up. Are you listening, Speers???!!!???

 

[UKGrad93]

A lot of good stuff in the thread this afternoon. I've had the realization that I have been internetting wrong for all these years (except for the free porn sites). Being on the internet, you can be ANYTHING or ANYONE you want to be. It is a chance to act and become someone different from yourself, yet sadly, I have squandered my e-life existence by being myself.

I could have re-invented myself here and been larger than life. But no. What you get from me here is what you would get if we met up for a beer or a pop.

Vanilla.

Most days I sit behind this desk and you guys, whether you exist or not, are part of what makes the time pass. Maybe its just an elaborate system created by rivals. A system that learns and builds and responds to your posts and creates your own little environment. An e-habitat.

 

[herodotus6]

This went over my head??? WTF is a wildcat & triple??? Is that what they call the Big Boy sandwich platter at the Shoney's in Lextown???

And WhoTF is that in the gif??? And why is he crying???

It's still real to him, DAMMIT!!!!

 

[Mashburned]

A lot of good stuff in the thread this afternoon. I've had the realization that I have been internetting wrong for all these years (except for the free porn sites). Being on the internet, you can be ANYTHING or ANYONE you want to be. It is a chance to act and become someone different from yourself, yet sadly, I have squandered my e-life existence by being myself.

I could have re-invented myself here and been larger than life. But no. What you get from me here is what you would get if we met up for a beer or a pop.

Vanilla.

Most days I sit behind this desk and you guys, whether you exist or not, are part of what makes the time pass. Maybe its just an elaborate system created by rivals. A system that learns and builds and responds to your posts and creates your own little environment. An e-habitat.

Yes. An e-habitat. E-ecosystem.

The ecosystem in my real life hood works like this...

Goose shits ----> Dolly rolls in it
Cat shits ----> Dolly eats it

In my e-habitat here on catpaw dot com, it works like this...

Ugly girl shits ----> Willy rolls in it
Anybody shits ----> LEK whines about it

Either way, I love it what for it is. Habitat gonna habitat. Habitual habitation.

 

[GhostVol]

Word.

I'd be doing DAMAGE to vaginas if I were single and in my 30's. Got married at 23. I blame my dead parents for not taking me aside and kicking me in the balls.

30's, padawan? I'm doing DAMAGE to vaginas in my 50's.

 

[-LEK-]

Yes. An e-habitat. E-ecosystem.

The ecosystem in my real life hood works like this...

Goose shits ----> Dolly rolls in it
Cat shits ----> Dolly eats it

In my e-habitat here on catpaw dot com, it works like this...

Ugly girl shits ----> Willy rolls in it
Anybody shits ----> LEK whines about it

Either way, I love it what for it is. Habitat gonna habitat. Habitual habitation.

Nah, I love poop talk. You got me twisted.

 

[jedwar]

Miami and Duke on now.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Fight that feeling brother, don't be like that pussy Kevin Cronin...

View embedded media

Fu#k you Cronin, may you eternally suck Satan's dick in hell for ruining a once-great band and driving guitar god Gary Richrath to an early grave from drinking to excess you power ballad-loving, ball-less cocksucker.

Early post of the year 2016 candidate.

 

[Kooky Kats]

30's, padawan? I'm doing DAMAGE to vaginas in my 50's.

Lest I remind ---- I'm ****ing married to the same vagina for 22 years. But congrats on your damage.

 

[jedwar]

30's, padawan? I'm doing DAMAGE to vaginas in my 50's.

STDs ?

 

[jedwar]

Miami's got the right offensive idea to win. Just has to keep Duke from getting into the lane.

agree

 

[Kooky Kats]

Watching Timberwolves / Cavs. The TWolves are loaded with young talent.

They gonna be goo'ood.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Nah, I love poop talk. You got me twisted.

Penny just went outside with my son... No poop.

 

[jedwar]

Miami up 11 on Duke 55-44. Under 9