- My wife is deathly afraid of mice/rats
- I've been on a supplement, protein powder, amino acid kick lately
How can these two seemingly disparate facts be tied together you ask?
While looking for my birth certificate (to get a replacement SS card) in our computer room/armory, I happened to, well, have a gaseous expulsion. A really bad one. Not Sikeston outlet mall "OH MY GOD" bad, but pretty danged bad nonetheless. Unfortunately for me, it had legs, as in "staying power."
Amidst all the guns, ammo and knives and various other end-time supplies I couldn't find the damned certificate -- after having just seen it in there last week (why it was in there is another story). So, of course, wifey decides to help me look.
"What's that smell," she immediately asked.
Huh? What? Oh gee honey, I didn't notice anything cause I was focused on finding that touching certificate (I never do
that around her cause, well, she doesn't like it and I'm trying to stay on her good side. I also don't admit to it when I have an accident).
"Is that what I think it is?"
What? You mean the wispy remnants of a corned beef sandwich topped off with some glycine/leucine/taurine metabolites?
"Did one of them die in here?"
Of course not, we've never had those anywhere in the house
"It smells just like one that's been dead awhile"
Well I can't explain that, maybe it's gunpowder from that brass in the corner.
"It's not touching gunpowder, it's a dead animal"
Well I can't smell anything, lets go look in the kitchen, maybe I put the birth certificate there (suppressing a silent surge of pride that I still got 'it')
"You know I'm leaving if I ever see one of them in here."
I promise I've never seen anything, but I'll put out some more D-Con just in case.
So apparently my lower intestine smells like decaying mice