Boomer? Really, Boomer??
Boomers are pushing 80. They're watching this game with their grandkids.
I'm proudly Gen-X. The problem is not that I can't figure out the technology. Heck, just last week, I hotwired a microwave oven into the CD player of my Saturn Vue so that I could enjoy a hotpocket while I listen to REM. Take a break, Driver 8.
No, the problem is not that I can't figure it out. The problem is that ain't nobody got time for that. If I wanna stream that game,
a) I'm gonna have to sort out the difference between ESPN+, ESPN-, SECNow, SECWhere, and SECWhen.
b) Then I'm gonna have to deal with my wife. Because you see, way back when, my wife generously offered to open the cable account in her name, and I didn't stop her. Do you know why? Because never in the history of cable TV has it been necessary to provide a password to watch TV. Diff'rent Strokes didn't ask for passwords. SECX should require one either. But now I have to deal with my wife because she doesn't have any idea what password the cable company assigned her and heaven forbid you click "Forgot Password" because now the cable company is gonna send my wife the reset email and I'm gonna have to call her at the hair salon because she's a vegetarian and thinks pigskin is a crime.
c) Then I'm gonna have to figure out my devices. My perfectly operational 1st generation iPAD? It's large enough and the image is great, but Apple obsoleted it just because. It can't download any more apps. OK, but my phone is too small and even if it weren't then I couldn't simultaneously watch the game and crackass in the game thread. Then there's my laptop, but if I watch the game on my laptop, some corner of my brain will not be able to break down Miami of Ohio's pass defense because it's too busy watching the beer in my left hand and fretting over the proprietary data that I haven't yet uploaded to the cloud.
d) So, now I've got figure out some screen mirroring or HDMI nonsense, which means digging through the box in the basement for a cable I haven't used since this game last year. Then I've gotta wire up the laptop in such a way that druncle (TM) doesn't trip over it.
Can I figure it out? Yes, I can figure it out. I'll be ready to go right around the start of the second quarter, because it's gonna take about 45 minutes of futzing around the house (notwithstanding the excellent advice and instruction offered by Glenn's Take early this week). Maybe a retired Boomer or a Mr. Low-Key Gen-Z has time for that, but I've got a J-O-B and a K-I-D. And suddenly the dulcet voice of Tom Leach is luring me home.
Good day, Sir. I said, Good day.