The only thing we care about on sleepovers is:
1- Kitchen is closed for food at 10pm. If you didn’t know what time it is, that’s not my problem.
2- Kitchen is closed for drinks at 11pm. Again not my problem.
We don’t care how long they stay up playing Fortnite, Minecraft, Mario Cart or Call of Duty. But I don’t want to hear a single complaint when my 6YO or 3YO are ready to play and jumping all over anyone to wake up.
I won’t stop them, and again it’s not my problem so no tattle telling!
All kids must be gone by 1pm so my next day isn’t wrecked by extra kids being around causing me to not be able to do things in a fashion where I have to plan around them or their parents……..won’t be my problem. All messes are cleaned immediately after kids leave, and if my kids are smart they’ll have their friends help before they leave.
If any of these rules are broken and become my problem, no more sleepovers.
Amazingly it sounds very overbearing and authoritarian but most of the kids love our house more than theirs still which tells me what I remember about being a kid. Set boundaries and kids are usually respectful and happy to oblige………don’t set boundaries and you’ll be the only one that’s miserable frustrated for no reason really.