D-League

[Mashburned]

He must have dead hookers on his resume or something...

Wow, great, you are awesome. You are just what we need. *flips resume page*. Oh wow, you kill hookers for fun huh. Well, see ya later.

*one year with Shannon pasdes*

Hi, Gran, yea, about those hookers...we'll give you 10 hookers a year to dispose of however you wish.

 

[argubs2]

-- every day that I present myself in public with nice, green and pearly white eyes I become more indebted to @maverick1 This man is nothing short of an angel sent from the heavens. Take that shit to the bank.

This reminded me of a question I wanted to ask @maverick1 - Have you heard of Rohto eye drops and if so, what are your thoughts on them?

When you apply, they burn your eyes like the devil himself is pissing lava into them. About 1 minute later, the pain subsides and your eyes are as white as snow and feeling all fresh and great.

In your opinion, are they more effective than Visine / Clear Eyes and also, should I be concerned about dropping something into my eye that initially feels like hydrochloric acid?

 

[Bert Higginbotha]

I talked to a guy in Roswell one time about making his bond. He was in a conflict with the City of Roswell about raising chickens in the city limits. A former Georgia Governor was representing him in court. I offered to comp his bond. His lawyer got him an ROR bond, and he wound up not needing me.

The poor man did not have any money, It's pretty hard to fight City Hall without any money. The poor soul committed suicide.

Sad. He just wanted to raise his chickens.

Chickens and Cities don't mix. As a past Mayor I know just how hard it is to keep folks from starting a little farm in the city. Usually the first Ordinance established by most cities is to prohibit people from keeping farm animals in the city. The only way to start the flu is to have hogs, fowls and humans in contact with each other. Too many problems arise for farm animals in cities.

Chickens need to be on a farm. Farmers need to be on farms with their animals instead of the city. Hogs need to be on a farm. Horses need to be on a farm. Cows need to be on a farm. And if I were Governor of Kentucky or Georgia I would try to pass a law to keep a farmer from co-mingling fowls and hogs. The 1918-19 Great Influenza killed 50,000,000 people and it started on a farm in Kansas. There are really good reasons to restrict the movement of animals because of the diseases that can be passed between them and humans.

Of course all cities have exceptions for farms on the perimeter of the city.

 

[55wildcat]

Now do this in yer whities....

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Congrats to mash on winning the ship!

And someone please tell funkycat that I won the 1st year but came in 2nd last year. I keep telling him that...but he obviously has me on ignore.

And also tell him that no matter what he says about my Fantastical Football team he has yet to beat me. That's 3 years and exactly zero wins. Say it to him just.like.that.

Also, tell that lazy bastiche that #TeamNoSympathy extends him the warmest of well wishes on his first day back to school.

 

[-LEK-]

My FF breakdown/insult-a-thon. Ranked from last to first place in the final standings.
http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/tools/finalstandings?leagueId=1245060

14. @Willy4UK 2-11. You should be ashamed. Man Card revoked.
13. @jedwar 6-7. You had one of the better overall records and came in next to last after the playoffs. For shame
12. @maverick1 3-10. It's like you didn't even try except for that one week against me.
11. @krazykats 6-7. You named your team after a child abuser and also came in next-to-next-to-next-last. Just awful.
10. @AustinTXCat 7-6 a winning record and 5th worst in the standings ... terrible
9. Me 5-8. I'm awesome.
8. @Kooky Kats (I think) 6-7 congrats. You're the best of the losers.
7. @UKGrad93 7-6 wow. a winning record. still terrible.
6. @UK_Norm 7-6 (I think) Your team name besmirches the good reputation of the Gatlinburg Papa Johns
5. @GhostVol 7-6 congrats on joining the mediocre club of 7-6ers
4. @-LEK- 7-6 last of the 'winners' bracket is still last. Get out.
3. @Kaizer Sosay 7-6 Two time winner comes in third place. That's embarrassing
2. @GonzoCat90 11-2 You lost to some pothead. I can't imagine a worse thing to happen.
1. @Mashburned 10-3 how'd you luck into that? obviously a fluke. GGP.

Overall, just a terrible season of fantasmagorical foosball. May all the bad things of this world happen to you and you alone.

I made the playoffs? havent logged in in 6 weeks.

 

[Mashburned]

Hey Funk, Kaiz told me to tell you all this stuff...

- You suck at FF. 3 years and you have yet to beat him once.

- He won the daggum thing the first year, and came in 2nd last year.

- Enjoy school, bitch.

 

[Mashburned]

This little toddler told me my hair was pretty. Damn near brought a tear to my eye. 2016 is probably my last good hair year.

 

[jedwar]

My FF breakdown/insult-a-thon. Ranked from last to first place in the final standings.
http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/tools/finalstandings?leagueId=1245060

14. @Willy4UK 2-11. You should be ashamed. Man Card revoked.
13. @jedwar 6-7. You had one of the better overall records and came in next to last after the playoffs. For shame
12. @maverick1 3-10. It's like you didn't even try except for that one week against me.
11. @krazykats 6-7. You named your team after a child abuser and also came in next-to-next-to-next-last. Just awful.
10. @AustinTXCat 7-6 a winning record and 5th worst in the standings ... terrible
9. Me 5-8. I'm awesome.
8. @Kooky Kats (I think) 6-7 congrats. You're the best of the losers.
7. @UKGrad93 7-6 wow. a winning record. still terrible.
6. @UK_Norm 7-6 (I think) Your team name besmirches the good reputation of the Gatlinburg Papa Johns
5. @GhostVol 7-6 congrats on joining the mediocre club of 7-6ers
4. @-LEK- 7-6 last of the 'winners' bracket is still last. Get out.
3. @Kaizer Sosay 7-6 Two time winner comes in third place. That's embarrassing
2. @GonzoCat90 11-2 You lost to some pothead. I can't imagine a worse thing to happen.
1. @Mashburned 10-3 how'd you luck into that? obviously a fluke. GGP.

Overall, just a terrible season of fantasmagorical foosball. May all the bad things of this world happen to you and you alone.

I absolutely suck at fantasy sports. Cool list you made though. I finished below Mav. Man that hurts.

 

[GhostVol]

This little toddler told me my hair was pretty. Damn near brought a tear to my eye. 2016 is probably my last good hair year.

What is this 'hair' of which you speak? I vaguely remember some follicles that used to grow on my scalp....but it's been a couple of decades now.

 

[jedwar]

Good stuff on the D today. Worth the read.

 

[jedwar]

You Fantasy BB guys still keeping up with it? Don't forget to adjust rosters today if needed. It has hurt me not doing that.

 

[Mashburned]

At least you're black like MJ. Best I can hope for is a Bruce Willis type of look. Sigh. Gonna really suck when I have to wear a damn beanie just to keep my scalp warm. I FN HATE BEANIES.

How badass is Bruce Willis? Wonder what that guy does on the reg? Probably pretty quiet.

 

[jedwar]

 

[-LEK-]

Next year in FF, I promise to really try the first few weeks, and attempt to log in.

-Been a rough day at work today, getting back into the grind. Tired as hell.

-Had a sex dream about my wife last night. Thats a good sign or bad one (wanting more sex).

-No clue about Fantasy Basketball. Think I have 3 points and 2 centers.

-Feet have been hurting a lot more lately. Not sure why. Flat feet? Plantar, but really really achy.

-Good conversation with Willy on the phone today.

-Grats to Mash on kicking all our butts.

 

[jedwar]

At least you're black like MJ. Best I can hope for is a Bruce Willis type of look. Sigh. Gonna really suck when I have to wear a damn beanie just to keep my scalp warm. I FN HATE BEANIES.

How badass is Bruce Willis? Wonder what that guy does on the reg? Probably pretty quiet.

I have more of the Kingpin look going on

 

[jedwar]

speaking of fantasy sports, ol Jason is first in his points league at 9-1 and only lost by 2 points the week of his loss when his opponent scored 200 more points than he has any other week this season. Team name is Katina's Fat Nip.

He's also 1st in his categories league at 63-26-1 and has a 6 game lead on the 2nd place guy (who he's playing this week). Team name is Katina's Bombinas.

Jason is good at fantasy basketball. Real basketball also, in case you didn't know.

#blessed#champ#bomber#3rdperson#suckit

Of course you are.

 

[argubs2]

Last I checked Bruce Willis does alright with the ladies, Mash. I wouldn't be too worried if that's what you're heading for.

Might even usher in a Golden Age of tail procurement for you.

 

[funKYcat75]

Y'all can tell @Kaizer Sosay that he's not on ignore, but I just choose to not pay attention sometimes. So, 1st then 2nd and now 3rd? To borrow a Maysville-ism, "that's just sorry."

When's that snow coming?

 

[FutureCityCats]

Well, uh, anybody got an extra fork?

At least you're black like MJ. Best I can hope for is a Bruce Willis type of look. Sigh. Gonna really suck when I have to wear a damn beanie just to keep my scalp warm. I FN HATE BEANIES.

How badass is Bruce Willis? Wonder what that guy does on the reg? Probably pretty quiet.

I was in a movie with bruce willis. Care to guess? FCC.

 

[jedwar]

Y'all can tell @Kaizer Sosay that he's not on ignore, but I just choose to not pay attention sometimes. So, 1st then 2nd and now 3rd? To borrow a Maysville-ism, "that's just sorry."

When's that snow coming?

Chris Bailey says we will know winter is here the middle of January. I know it is now. It's freaking cold. Just had a fire drill too.

 

[AustinTXCat]

You Fantasy BB guys still keeping up with it? Don't forget to adjust rosters today if needed. It has hurt me not doing that.

Set a roster last week anticipating the KS Mean Machine. Another of my players (Conley) is temporarily listed DTD. Reset my roster just a few minutes ago

Eric Bledsoe is out for the season. I'll drop him soon. He was my leading scorer.

 

[jedwar]

Set a roster last week anticipating the KS Mean Machine. Another of my players (Conley) is temporarily listed DTD. Reset my roster just a few minutes ago

Eric Bledsoe is out for the season. I'll drop him soon. He was my leading scorer.

I think if a player gets hurt we should be able to sub. What is the point of having them if we can't sub. Bass turds.

 

[jedwar]

Well, uh, anybody got an extra fork?



I was in a movie with bruce willis. Care to guess? FCC.

That was you? I thought that was Ving Rhames!

 

[jedwar]

I had to look it up FCC. I won't spoil it.

 

[funKYcat75]

Try not to trip on the hem of your skirt while doing your 21 day cleanse.

 

[Mashburned]

Last I checked Bruce Willis does alright with the ladies, Mash. I wouldn't be too worried if that's what you're heading for.

Might even usher in a Golden Age of tail procurement for you.

Yea, true. I'm just saying I wish I was black. That's all.

 

[Mashburned]

I've done the opposite of a cleanse for a little over a month and it's not that bad, really. Gained 10-15 lbs but I've kept my core tight and my glutes are something else right now, so my fat has a pretty nice shape to it. Soon as I start eating normal again I'm gonna be pure beefcake.

 

[Mashburned]

Mav da real 2015 MVP. That's impressive.

 

[Willy4UK]

I'll answer that for you. Yes they are much better than visine. Visine gives me super high eyes

Anything is better than Visine. That shit sucks. And Rhoto doesn't work either for me. The only thing that works is Mav's eye juice. Shit is bomb.

and Mav- great news brother, i love hearing about your loss in weight.

 

[Mashburned]

You know that feeling when you've been smoking all day and then you decide to go to the grocery store or some shit and you immediately realize it was a mistake.

Do those super eye drops make you feel less weird?

Damn, a fat diet. I love it.

Mav if you don't mind posting what you typically eat I would love to see it. If I could cut carbs I'd be golden.

 

[UKGrad93]

Here's what a 108-day challenge/cleanse will get you...

I fell off the pace slightly during Christmas week, but still lost 8 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.

That's the same chart that my 401k made last year.

 

[argubs2]

Yeah I feel you on that Through. Never had much luck with Visine.

I was presented a bottle of Rohtos recently and tried them. After initially being terrified it was all a big joke and it was actually some form of animal urine in the bottle, I became pleasantly surprised and astounded.

I asked, "WhyTF did my eyes burn so bad there?" The response I received was "Because they work. Visine doesn't hurt and they suck. Therefore, pain = works."

I couldn't argue. My eyes looked like I just came out of church and they felt like sex.

Just look at this sexy bottle....

 

[Willy4UK]

You know that feeling when you've been smoking all day and then you decide to go to the grocery store or some shit and you immediately realize it was a mistake..

That's where alcohol helps....

alcohol. Making apathy since well, forever.

 

[Willy4UK]

Argubs, I still have a bottle of that Rhoto. I can't use it. My eyes after that stuff causes a new color of blood.

 

[Willy4UK]

Matter of fact, I can't wait to get home
to smoke weed and then go to World of Beers.

 

[argubs2]

That's scary Willy.

And ultimately, it's what I'm afraid of. I grabbed a bottle and have been using sparingly....don't want to continue using regularly and then become blind at 40.

Damn though, they work pretty well for me and I'm kinda like, craving the pain now. I can barely see myself going back to a non-hellfire-burn eye drop.

 

[Kooky Kats]

My FF breakdown/insult-a-thon. Ranked from last to first place in the final standings.
http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/tools/finalstandings?leagueId=1245060

14. @Willy4UK 2-11. You should be ashamed. Man Card revoked.
13. @jedwar 6-7. You had one of the better overall records and came in next to last after the playoffs. For shame
12. @maverick1 3-10. It's like you didn't even try except for that one week against me.
11. @krazykats 6-7. You named your team after a child abuser and also came in next-to-next-to-next-last. Just awful.
10. @AustinTXCat 7-6 a winning record and 5th worst in the standings ... terrible
9. Me 5-8. I'm awesome.
8. @Kooky Kats (I think) 6-7 congrats. You're the best of the losers.
7. @UKGrad93 7-6 wow. a winning record. still terrible.
6. @UK_Norm 7-6 (I think) Your team name besmirches the good reputation of the Gatlinburg Papa Johns
5. @GhostVol 7-6 congrats on joining the mediocre club of 7-6ers
4. @-LEK- 7-6 last of the 'winners' bracket is still last. Get out.
3. @Kaizer Sosay 7-6 Two time winner comes in third place. That's embarrassing
2. @GonzoCat90 11-2 You lost to some pothead. I can't imagine a worse thing to happen.
1. @Mashburned 10-3 how'd you luck into that? obviously a fluke. GGP.

Overall, just a terrible season of fantasmagorical foosball. May all the bad things of this world happen to you and you alone.

My Testy Gulls will destroy all you stiffs in '16. Book it, Beyonces. Y'all a bunch a tittie-bitches.

 

[AustinTXCat]

Mav da real 2015 MVP. That's impressive.

+1.

Great job, Mav.

 

[akers65]

since I started this 21 day challenge of no junk food I'd appreciate it if everyone could list all the crappy, tasty, unhealthy things you eat for the next 3 weeks so I can live vicariously through ya. May be the only thing that keeps me going.

Zebra cake
Chocolate chip cookies
Peanut butter candy