I'm going to write a book someday on me and my religious escapades. I'll title it "I'll Risk ONe Eye". Here's the original:
A pastor known for his hell-fire-and-brimstone sermons was preaching one Sunday morning. During the course of his sermon, he looked up to the choir loft and saw a woman standing so close to the rail that he could see up her skirt. In shock, he announces to the congregation, "There is a woman in the choir loft standing so close to the railing that you can see up her skirt. Anyone who turns around and looks will go blind." An old man in the front pew covers one eye, turns around and says, "I'll risk one eye!" R.K.
Here's my version: I usher on Communion Sunday. My station today was the right side exit next to the ministerial/evangelist stand. Our new sanctuary has the altar/stand elevated 4 feet from the floor. Two of our evangelists (and they HAD to be the two ladies in their 30's), were really into the sermon (with the obligatory shouts and jumps. When you're 4 feet above the floor and only 8 feet from the usher...yeah, your undies are going to be exposed each. and. every. time. I tried to NOT look...but I'm still a man at the end of the day. And yeah, I took notice that at least one was merciful and wore support pantyhose. The OTHER one was wearing white thigh-hi's and white lace panties. Yeah, there might be a good chance of me burning when my day on Earth is done!