N.O.B.

[_Mav_]

I've looked all over for these sonsofbitches, but I can't find them anywhere.

I'm starting to think it's all one big tease and I'm so pissed I decided to write a protest song.*

A long time ago, when candy was young,
Milton Hershey made a bar really liked by some,
Soon others followed round with their own sweet treats,
But the tastiest of all was made by Mr. Reese

We gots some regular ol' Reeses, even Pieces of Reese,
Some Big Cup versions to spike an insulin release,
There's Thin ones, dark and white ones, Take 5, and Fast Break,
But Ultimate Peanut Butter the bastards won't make,

Now Mav was mighty hungry and needin' a sucrose fix,
He searched high and low usin' all his old tricks,
He thought of swiggin' Dews to taste buds's content,
But only peanut butter would make his cravings relent,

Welllll, he found some regular ol' Reeses, even Pieces of Reese,
Some Big Cup versions to spike an insulin release,
There's Thin ones, dark and white ones, Take 5 and Fast Break,
But Ultimate Peanut Butter the f#ckers won't make,

So Mav was gettin' desperate, his will nearly broke,
He wanted Ultimates bad; this was not a joke,
Mav hung on til the end, his yearning knew no bounds,
"Guess I gotta settle for another f#cking Mounds,"

Yeahhhh, he found some regular ol' Reeses, even Pieces of Reese,
Some Big Cup versions to spike an insulin release,
There's Thin ones, dark and white ones, Take 5 and Fast Break,
But Ultimate Peanut Butter the f#ckers won't make.

*sung to the tune of "The Unicorn Song" by the Irish Rovers

 

[_Mav_]

Speaking of Super70sSports...

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

 

[AustinTXCat]

Especially for Mash

 

[gobigbluebell]

Been saving every cent of my stimulus money for whenever the Buc-ee's opening is.

I do plan to use some of that money bribing Buc-ee into stocking Blue Bell. Makes no damn sense for a wonderful Texas gas superstore to not serve Blue Bell.

 

[gobigbluebell]

This is sort of fascinating and fitting. Blue Bell distribution map.....Notice that pos state called Ohio is void of blue bell, while slackjawed corn state of Indiana is filled with Blue Bell. What's that about? Ohio is garbage!

 

[_Mav_]

I'm glad I'm not addicted to sucrose/fructose any more, I MEAN OTHER THAN WANTING A GDMFSOB'n ULTIMATE PEANUT BUTTER LOVERS REESES RIGHT F#CKING NOW!!!

 

[gobigbluebell]

Yeahhhh, he found some regular ol' Reeses, even Pieces of Reese,
Some Big Cup versions to spike an insulin release,
There's Thin ones, dark and white ones, Take 5 and Fast Break,
But Ultimate Peanut Butter the f#ckers won't make.

😅

 

[_Mav_]

I'm glad I'm not addicted to sucrose/fructose any more, I MEAN OTHER THAN WANTING A GDMFSOB'n ULTIMATE PEANUT BUTTER LOVERS REESES RIGHT F#CKING NOW!!!

Btw, this was in reference to the Buc-ee's/Blue Bell discussion -- in my old days I would have spent a large fortune gorging at Buc-ee's.

 

[UKWILDCAT2004]

I've never stepped inside of a Buc-ees but based on these discussions I feel I am missing out.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Ohio is garbage!

Dare I say that a more truthful statement has never graced the pages of this site...nor shall one ever emerge as such in the future.

 

[gobigbluebell]

I've never stepped inside of a Buc-ees but based on these discussions I feel I am missing out.

Me either, brother, but one day I will. I will step inside that Buc-ee's so hard.

 

[gobigbluebell]

Btw, this was in reference to the Buc-ee's/Blue Bell discussion -- in my old days I would have spent a large fortune gorging at Buc-ee's.

I'm gonna do it in your honor man. I will eat that sweet Buc-ee's fructose by the thousand$$$$$$ for you.

 

[_Mav_]

I'm gonna do it in your honor man. I will eat that sweet Buc-ee's fructose by the thousand$$$$$$ for you.

My liver and pancreas shall live vicariously through you.

 

[_Mav_]

This is absolutely the single worst play I've ever seen a major league first baseman make. There's two outs i.e. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STEP ON THE BAG YOU F#CKING MORON.



Dude should be fired, have his contract terminated, tortured mercilessly and then (and only then) executed with extreme prejudice...but since it's the Pirates IDGAF what happens to him.

 

[AustinTXCat]

How can you post that ^^^^^ without mentioning that UK is first and foremost a rifle team school? smh

3 national titles (two in the last three years) and 6 runner-ups.

Let me rephrase: A world-class rifle team school.

 

[UKWILDCAT2004]

Me either, brother, but one day I will. I will step inside that Buc-ee's so hard.

That could be awkward.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

This is absolutely the single worst play I've ever seen a major league first baseman make. There's two outs i.e. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STEP ON THE BAG YOU F#CKING MORON.

View embedded media

Dude should be fired, have his contract terminated, tortured mercilessly and then (and only then) executed with extreme prejudice...but since it's the Pirates IDGAF what happens to him.

I’m guessing that 1st baseman either came from the Reds organization or he will wind up there in the near future. Just a hunch.

 

[_Mav_]

 

[_Mav_]

 

[_Mav_]

 

[_Mav_]

 

[AustinTXCat]

Joel Dongsteen, eh?

 

[CatGotMyTongue]

Joel Dongsteen, eh?

Yes..of the Barton Creek Dongsteens.

 

[_Mav_]

Joel Dongsteen, eh?

He's my new fave follow on Twitter.

 

[_Mav_]

Pretty sure Mr. Dongsteen takes actual quotes from Joel Osteen's sermons and makes a key substitution -- either that or he's damned good at imitating Osteen.

 

[_Mav_]

I'll never look at that toothy prosperity huckster the same way again.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

 

[UKGrad93]

I saw a billboard for Buc-ees in Florida last week. It said, “there is a beaver in your future.”.

 

[gobigbluebell]

Jackass neighbor with the abandoned property finally had someone cut his damn near 2ft of grass...and that jackass decided to redefine the property lines because apparently he couldn’t tell the difference between 2ft prairie and finally manicured weed free 3.5in fescue. So, he cuts 2ft into my fine grass, scalping it. Then, he leaves a 2 ft section or prairie on down the property line.

 

[AustinTXCat]

^ same neighbors with the crazy, irreverent kids? You definitely need new people over there.

 

[gobigbluebell]

No, the Manson family moved. Have no idea what’s going on there.

I would almost welcome back the Manson family. I’m afraid of what comes next.

 

[UKWILDCAT2004]

Jackass neighbor with the abandoned property finally had someone cut his damn near 2ft of grass...and that jackass decided to redefine the property lines because apparently he couldn’t tell the difference between 2ft prairie and finally manicured weed free 3.5in fescue. So, he cuts 2ft into my fine grass, scalping it. Then, he leaves a 2 ft section or prairie on down the property line.

So you are pissed?

 

[gobigbluebell]

Dude’s been battling this yard for over 5hrs now. Out back trimming by truck light. I have no idea who raised this person. He must be paid by the hour and have a 2am deadline to meet. It’s hilarious.

 

[CatGotMyTongue]

If we lived in GYERO nhoods, we wouldn’t have these issues.

 

[gobigbluebell]

I got a gotdang chain link fence, but my mfn fescue turf looks better than any GYERO hood.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

but my mfn fescue turf looks better than any GYERO hood.

Well, all except for that 2’ strip of grass that’s been scalped like a pale face honkie at Little Big Horn.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

 

[_Mav_]

Oops...

TFW you f#ck up a sick Twitter burn...