What pisses the kaizer off about the grocery store:
1) The grocery store itself. Having to go there in the first place really pisses me off to no end.
2) Land of the Misfit Isles. I don't go that often so every time I go...all of the isles are different. And I don't mean that they added/deducted a few things here or there. I mean that in the 3 or 4 months since my last visit...the entire effing store has changed. Entire isles have magically disappeared or have been moved to the opposite side of the store. Hey Kroger! I give zero effs about your reasoning. Eff your new manager and/or the tax deduction!!!
3) Non-compliant Cart Corral Syndrome. It ain't that difficult you lazy mofos. Just walk your fat, lazy ass a few more steps and put the mother effin cart back where it belongs.
4) George Castanza Syndrome. People who drive around looking for the perfect parking spot...even going so far as to drive past several open spaces just so they might possibly get a little better spot when someone finally leaves. Again, it wouldn't hurt your fat, lazy ass to add a few extra steps to your non-existent exercise program by parking a couple of isles further away from the store in an already open spot.
5) Karl Benson Syndrome. Seeing somebody I know but who isn't a good friend. Happens every effin time I go there. Inevitably, they say "hello". Which is fine. But they cant merely stop at "hello". Nooooooooo. They have to linger around, ignore all hints to the contrary and proceed to tell me everything that is going on in their life and expect me to do the same. Ain't happening, man. Save that shite for your Facebook and twitter machines. I got stuff to do and you are hindering my progress, jackass. Just say "hello" in passing...and let me find this missing isle so I can get the eff outta this God forsaken place as quickly as possible.
6) Dumbass Pedestrian Syndrome. This is most definitely not confined to grocery stores...but the dumbass frequency is certainly ramped up a notch there within. Of course I am talking about the dumbass people who walk across the lot without a care in the world because they assume cars will stop. I mean most of them don't even look. Just because the pedestrian has the right away doesn't mean you're not supposed to look both ways...because you might...you know...get hit by a freakin car...DUMBASS!!! It's gotten to the point now where I expect this dumbass behavior from kids these days. But I am talking about grown ass adults. smh
1) The grocery store itself. Having to go there in the first place really pisses me off to no end.
2) Land of the Misfit Isles. I don't go that often so every time I go...all of the isles are different. And I don't mean that they added/deducted a few things here or there. I mean that in the 3 or 4 months since my last visit...the entire effing store has changed. Entire isles have magically disappeared or have been moved to the opposite side of the store. Hey Kroger! I give zero effs about your reasoning. Eff your new manager and/or the tax deduction!!!
3) Non-compliant Cart Corral Syndrome. It ain't that difficult you lazy mofos. Just walk your fat, lazy ass a few more steps and put the mother effin cart back where it belongs.
4) George Castanza Syndrome. People who drive around looking for the perfect parking spot...even going so far as to drive past several open spaces just so they might possibly get a little better spot when someone finally leaves. Again, it wouldn't hurt your fat, lazy ass to add a few extra steps to your non-existent exercise program by parking a couple of isles further away from the store in an already open spot.
5) Karl Benson Syndrome. Seeing somebody I know but who isn't a good friend. Happens every effin time I go there. Inevitably, they say "hello". Which is fine. But they cant merely stop at "hello". Nooooooooo. They have to linger around, ignore all hints to the contrary and proceed to tell me everything that is going on in their life and expect me to do the same. Ain't happening, man. Save that shite for your Facebook and twitter machines. I got stuff to do and you are hindering my progress, jackass. Just say "hello" in passing...and let me find this missing isle so I can get the eff outta this God forsaken place as quickly as possible.
6) Dumbass Pedestrian Syndrome. This is most definitely not confined to grocery stores...but the dumbass frequency is certainly ramped up a notch there within. Of course I am talking about the dumbass people who walk across the lot without a care in the world because they assume cars will stop. I mean most of them don't even look. Just because the pedestrian has the right away doesn't mean you're not supposed to look both ways...because you might...you know...get hit by a freakin car...DUMBASS!!! It's gotten to the point now where I expect this dumbass behavior from kids these days. But I am talking about grown ass adults. smh
![[laughing]](http://l.yimg.com/j/assets/img/emoticons/classic/laugh.r191677.gif "Laughing [laughing]")
