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Just for Fun...Can you believe that he said that?

unclebig'un

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Sep 14, 2007
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My how times have changed in football. Without mentioning the name of the coach or the school that you played for, and also maintaining site expectations, tell us something that your coach said to you or your team then, that he just might not say it the same way today! This could be fun leading up to spring practice!

I'll start. It was not until 1983 that our team finally had an offensive line where all 5 starters weighed over 200 pounds. One day in practice someone missed an assignment and coach yelled, "hey fatboy, you missed your block!" All 5 of us turned around to listen to further instruction. Coach kind of laughed and said, "I keep forgetting that everyone of you is a fat***!"
 
Can’t remember quotes but can remember several times in the late 70’s my coach would grab me by the face mask with both hands and sling me around like a rag doll. He did it so hard one time he pulled my helmet off.
 
"Zone defenses are for basketball"

note this was the early 60s before zone defenses were used in football. The conventional wisdom back then is that they would not work because there is too much area for each player to cover, unlike basketball. The first time I can every remember a foot ball team using a zone defense was an early 70s Miami Dolphins team when Don Shula was the coach, but I could be wrong about the history.
 
One of our coaches during the first week of practice was yelling at a young, out of shape lineman who had already started walking during the “2 laps to warmup” beginning of practice. He said “son you need to sue your doctor. He signed your physical exam saying you are physically able to play football and you can’t even jog a lap!”
 
"I hope none of you ever reproduce" The famous first words heard from the first practice of sophomore year.
 
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I had the HC pass through the locker room and while dressing put a blank pistol up to my arm and pull the trigger.... Left a powder burn little bigger than a pencil erasure... Oh those were the days..........
 
Never played football, too skinny back then, but in that same vein my baseball coach used to always ask, "what brand of fridge is he carrying down that " for the slower guys trying to bea
I had the HC pass through the locker room and while dressing put a blank pistol up to my arm and pull the trigger.... Left a powder burn little bigger than a pencil erasure... Oh those were the days..........
Where'd you go to school Lagrange?
 
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Well won’t say where I went... While a decent little athlete I had no clue to sport other than, have fun. The HC didn’t like that I guess... I’d play hard and to win but didn’t have that stone cold killer thing.... I’d be cracking jokes and making the QB laugh... That HC went on to coach (assistant) at a Regional University.... Took a college class from him got an “A”... He was a dick, but a good coach... He’s still a dick so I hear... If my dad would have found out he’d a been an unemployed dick/coach.... Dad’s sport was hunting... He didn’t play when it came to that stuff.
 
Not football, but freshman year of baseball (1990), at Fenwick High School in Middletown, OH. Our coach was Fred Nori who is very well known in that area for being a hell of a coach, but a tough sob to play for. He's now an assistant for Arizona State after being an assistant at IU. Our 3rd baseman comes trotting to the field about 20 minutes late for BP before a game. Fred goes, "Where the $%&^ have you been?" Teammate answers, "I had to get a haircut". Fred picked him up, slammed him into the backstop and told him to go home. We just continued on like nothing happened.
 
Ahhh, the memories. "Give me 20 pushups, you little son-of-a-bitch" springs to mind from football. Had an assistant coach with a cane, who liked to pound us on the helmet and shoulder pads . . . . gave us lots of confidence in our equipment.
 
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Picked to win state pre-season but suffered big and costly upset loss in second or 3rd game. Next practice day coach comes in locker room and declared: "Game field. Shorts and shoulder pads". We all knew what that meant.

Broke into 2 groups and ran sideline to sideline sprints for an hour at least. Only recovery time was while the other group was running. Late in this nothing but sprints practice session I tripped and fell. I could not get up, lying on the turf gasping: "Oh my God, Oh my God".

Coach comes over and sorta flips me over with his foot so I was flat on my back. He looks down at me, smiles and says: "Whadya doing (insert name here)? Praying?"

Multiple guys all but passed out during or immediately after that "practice".

I remember that day like it happened last week, not 50+ years ago. When I get together with some of my old HS buds we talk about things like that and agree coaches today would be put in jail for the way we practiced way back when. FWIW, HC was former UK player under Bryant and UK was then in the "Thin 30" era under Bradshaw.

Peace
 
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I played football in the early to. mid 60's. my coach was a wwii veteran who flew B-17'S GERMANY. ON ONE RAID HIS PLANE GOT SHOT DOWN. He was wounded while his plane was being shot by german fighters He lost the sight in his right eye. AND HADS HIS BELLY OPENED BY THE GERM,AN FIGHTER. HE BAILED OUT AND WAS CAPTURED BY GERMAN SOLDIERS WHERE HE WAS TAKEN TO A A STALIG AMERICAN AIRMAN. HE ABOUT DIED IN THE POW CAMP but eventlty got healthy and he staityed to the end of the was when he was releaed.

now fore the rest of the story. One day we were going thru drills and the coach called time out. told every one to garther
around. He said you guys think you are tough, i WILL SHOW YOU TOUGH. HE OPENED UP HIS SHIRT AND SHOWED THE THE WHOLE TEAM HIS SCARS FROM THE GERMAN MACHINE GUN. HE THEN REACHED UP AND PULLED HIS GLASS EYE OUT THE SOCKET. THEN LOOKED AT EVERY BODY AND SAID THIS WHAT TOUGH IS.
ABOUT HALF THE TEAM THREW UP.
 
Mine told me that he would receive extreme sexual gratification if the opposing qb’s helmet were knocked off and his head remained in it. He also happened to be the coaches relative.. This was in the mid seventies and in our attempt to please him he did go off on a stretcher.
 
I played football in the early to. mid 60's. my coach was a wwii veteran who flew B-17'S GERMANY. ON ONE RAID HIS PLANE GOT SHOT DOWN. He was wounded while his plane was being shot by german fighters He lost the sight in his right eye. AND HADS HIS BELLY OPENED BY THE GERM,AN FIGHTER. HE BAILED OUT AND WAS CAPTURED BY GERMAN SOLDIERS WHERE HE WAS TAKEN TO A A STALIG AMERICAN AIRMAN. HE ABOUT DIED IN THE POW CAMP but eventlty got healthy and he staityed to the end of the was when he was releaed.

now fore the rest of the story. One day we were going thru drills and the coach called time out. told every one to garther
around. He said you guys think you are tough, i WILL SHOW YOU TOUGH. HE OPENED UP HIS SHIRT AND SHOWED THE THE WHOLE TEAM HIS SCARS FROM THE GERMAN MACHINE GUN. HE THEN REACHED UP AND PULLED HIS GLASS EYE OUT THE SOCKET. THEN LOOKED AT EVERY BODY AND SAID THIS WHAT TOUGH IS.
ABOUT HALF THE TEAM THREW UP.

That's a great "rest of the story".
 
Picked to win state pre-season but suffered big and costly upset loss in second or 3rd game. Next practice day coach comes in locker room and declared: "Game field. Shorts and shoulder pads". We all knew what that meant.

Broke into 2 groups and ran sideline to sideline sprints for an hour at least. Only recovery time was while the other group was running. Late in this nothing but sprints practice session I tripped and fell. I could not get up, lying on the turf gasping: "Oh my God, Oh my God".

Coach comes over and sorta flips me over with his foot so I was flat on my back. He looks down at me, smiles and says: "Whadya doing (insert name here)? Praying?"

Multiple guys all but passed out during or immediately after that "practice".

I remember that day like it happened last week, not 50+ years ago. When I get together with some of my old HS buds we talk about things like that and agree coaches today would be put in jail for the way we practiced way back when. FWIW, HC was former UK player under Bryant and UK was then in the "Thin 30" era under Bradshaw.

Peace

Not sure the occasion but my sophomore year we only ran wind sprints for two hours one day, first time I can ever remember throwing up, but finished the running and after school not enough football, so I was playing a pickup game on the golf course with some teammates when I was going to dive for a fumble. But another guy was diving for it so I changed my mind, slid up to it and he landed on my ankle and almost broke it, found out I had a little bone out of place later, missed the last two games of the year before I got the bone in place and it healed. Sprained it every year at least once a year during football season for about six years, not very bad though, but OK after that.

Second year at UK it had been no problem a couple years, I lived in a boarding house across the street from the Memorial basketball arena with three other students in a big room upstairs, hopped over the guard rail and landed on the parking stop I didn't see which was in the shade of the street light. About twice the size, no big deal to me but roommates insisted on taking me to the new UK hospital, a free visit, I had never been in a hospital before, born at home. The guy that signed me in wasn't impressed, didn't look at it and I sat for 30 minutes and then told them I was leaving. Oh well, let me look at it, he was impressed when he looked at it, put me in a wheel chair, took me upstairs, about to take Xrays when I asked if it was covered. Nope, not covered. So I said forget it, back in the wheel chair to downstairs, had to sign "against medical advice forms" then I had to limp out. It was OK after a couple of days of limping again, like I knew it would be.

About the same treatment I got for Mononucleosis there, literally felt like hell and stayed in bed a whole day after they tested me for it. The test took two weeks for results and when they called me two weeks later to rush over there I had been over it for 12 of the 14 days, never bothered going back.
 
Ok, here goes....

I was manager of my HS FB team; fall of 1982 was my senior year. During our Homecoming game we fell behind 16-0 at the half. Our coach really ripped into the team in the locker room at halftime. Here's part of what he said: "I guess you boys would rather go to that homecoming dance instead of playing this football game. I tell you what you can do - You can take that homecoming dance and stick it up your ass!!". At that point, the veins were popping out in his neck, and he did the fist pump hand gesture to get his point across.

Thankfully, I was on the edge of the group, and I could feel a wave of uncontrollable laughter coming over me. I got up and ran to the showers and laughed my ass off for about 5 minutes.

We actually came back and tied the game, but on the tying 2-point conversion our QB was called for clipping(??), and we failed on the re-try, and lost the game 16-14. That game marked about the sixth year in a row that we lost our homecoming game, it was something we were certainly aware of and as seniors we really wanted to win but came up short.
 
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I'm loving this thread...

So here is another: My senior year our team was VERY average if that. My junior year was possibly the best team our school has fielded. Needless to say, our coach, a salty guy anyway, was not handling things to well following that great year.

By the next to last game of my senior year, he had just about had enough of us I believe. At halftime, we were getting thumped by a team that we had handled easily for several years. So Coach comes late into the locker room, smoking an unfiltered Camel or something. Here is all he said: (Big Inhale of the cigarette) "The most feared 2A football team in Eastern Kentucky..." (Slow exhale of the cloud of smoke) "...is now...." (Big inhale of cig) "...a bunch of Puss***!" (Exhale)

He repeated that phrase three more times with the same slow, smoking, dramatic flair and then walked out of the room.

Classic story among all of us to this day!
 
One of my favorite halftime speeches came from Knute Rockne.

The story has it that Notre Dame was playing a team they clearly should have manhandled. Instead, the game at halftime either had ND behind, or at least close.

Toward the end of the halftime, the ND players hadn't seen their coach yet. He finally walked in, stopped and looked at them and said, "Oh, excuse me ladies. I thought the Notre Dame players were in here." It worked as ND ran over their opponent in the second half.

(Story might be a bit inaccurate, but the principle of the story is the same.)


lol
 
I won't say who my coach was but I had to sit in the bathroom stall and eat poptarts.
 
Mine told me that he would receive extreme sexual gratification if the opposing qb’s helmet were knocked off and his head remained in it. He also happened to be the coaches relative.. This was in the mid seventies and in our attempt to please him he did go off on a stretcher.

Speaking of laying a QB out I have always thought this was an amazing sequence.

Corbin was always very good in football. We always played them, and they almost always beat us, even when two of my older brothers played and we won our conference. we were a VERY small school, 33 in my graduating class. In 1952 when I was a freshman, we beat them handily, and I didn't play as a freshman. They didn't win a game that year. My sophomore year I played and we beat them 25-0 IIRC, we had college level RB.

My junior year we had a great QB for high school, should have played college but joined the marine corp, (probably didn't help that he was a target, was kicked in the cheekbone while down and missed the last two games of his senior year also) threw as pretty a pass as I ever saw, and I have seen a lot, they looked like Rick Norton's passes. He was the starting QB in the 8th grade. We played at the tiny town of Pineville, probably smaller enrollment than us, but they recruited a lot (had to) and were number one in the state poll when we played them in Pineville. We were leading them 14-7 at the half, and our QB was having a great game. Reference your post, I met a player on their team my first year in college that said their coach told them at half time he didn't care how they did it but get that QB out of the game. They did and we lost, 41-7, the backup QBs first snap in a varsity game.

The next game we played in was a very strong Corbin team that was starting to make some noise, played on the city golf course because their field was flooded. Ed Selvy, Frank's brother, was a very good senior QB for them, and our QB was still out of action, but we had a week off and switched to the single wing in that week off. We had enough offense to tie them 0-0, one of the most improbable results you could expect, although I didn't realize it at the time. The next week they upset the still #1 team in the state, Pineville.

That was the springboard to their great team in 1955 that was number one in the state all year, (they also had to recruit a lot, but I knew several of their players that were natives) when Calvin Bird ran wild. Fortunately for us, best move our coach ever made, he let them drop us from their schedule to play a big Louisville school so they would have the credentials to be the state champions, and they beat them handily and won the state title that year. They didn't have divisions back then, one state champion.

Calvin Bird was awesome in high school, glad I didn't have to TRY to tackle him.

Anyway I have always wanted to tell that story, a great story that probably most don't realize happened, that Corbin team went from zero wins to an undefeated season and state champions with those freshmen that lost every game, and I think our team had a small part in it.

With some of these coaches tales I can imagine what their coach said to them between us tying them without our QB and them upsetting the number one team in the state and going on to be the great team they had in 1955, might make some of these coach tales pale in comparison.

I hope UK can do almost as well, from two two win seasons to SEC east champs, at least, strange things happen in football..
 
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Freshman football, early 70's, (frosh couldn't play varsity). In the locker room right before we took the field for kick off. Head coach is addressing us, and he said, "fellas, you can't go undefeated if you don't win the first game". We did win. Had a 5 game schedule. Went 4-1. Lost to Ohio State in the shoe 10-7. Hell, I'm 66, but when I saw the thread title, I immediately remembered that quote.
Still funny today.
 
Summer Babe Ruth league baseball story, but still funny to me

As the visiting team, we’d finished our pregame warmups and we’re watching the other team warmup...in awe. They were grown a** men and they were really good.

Our coach sauntered into the dugout and said,”Boys, we’re playing a very talented team today. So, if we lose it’s simply a matter of their team having superior talent, but if we win it will clearly be due to my superior coaching.” It was a perfectly executed deadpan delivery.

After a discernible few moments of silence, we all cracked up laughing. We played loose after that. They still crushed us, but we played loose, made some plays, and had a blast.
 
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