Keep in mind this pertains to a high volume, high capacity bar.
1. Don't tell me your name unless I ask. There's 50+ people in here, I won't even try to remember unless you're really cool/interesting or tip well.
2. Don't order waters for everyone. I'm busy, I don't need busy work and I don't need to make 5 waters when only you want one. Also, if you order a water, touching drink it.
3. Know what you're drinking. This goes for everyone in your group. Don't flag me down and then say, "Ummmm I'll have a....what's good? Billy, what're you drinking? Stacy, you like those apple thingies, what are those?" If you don't know what you want, just ask for a Miller Lite or whateverthetouch and drink that til you decide. It's just A drink, not your last drink.
4. Know what you're drinking, part 2. If you ask for that one drink you had that one time at the Hilton or something in Punta Cana or wherever the last place you acted like a jackass was, guess what? I don't know their drink menu. Furthermore, if you're from god forbid, the Midwest or wherever and they have some drink called a Yellow Thunder Pecker in southwest Wisconsin, I PROBABLY don't know what's in that because I would never live there. So when you ask for one and I say, "I don't know what's in that, but I'd be happy to make one for you though. What's in it?", don't you dare look at me and say, "I don't know, you're the bartender." You're 25+, know what you're consuming, you half-grown baby man.
5. Don't order 7 different shots. I have to shake every goddamn one of those and that takes forever. Now you're just wasting everyone's time and I promise, you're not that important. Order one, MAYBE two different shots. I don't care that Tammy doesn't like Green Teas or that Steffany, spelled with two goddamn "F's", just can't do rum. She can pick the next round.
6. Don't split shots. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I'm not explaining this. Order a WHOLE shot or don't.
7. Don't bring kids in to sit at the bar. You knocked someone up and have kids, now act like it. SItting at the bar time is over. Time to take that Titleist visor and walk your tucked in polo dad-bod over to the host stand and ask for a table, pops.
8. Don't say you don't want a food or drink menu and then proceed to ask me what we have. And if it's because you "didn't bring your readers" well gramps, maybe it's a little late for you to be out isn't it.
9. Don't ask the price of everything on the menu. First of all, it's on the menu. Secondly, if you have to ask you probably shouldn't be at the bar spending $4+ on a beer. I'm not going to give you the same deal Wimpy got from the hamburger place.
10. Don't pay 6 ways for one round. You're all friends, that's why you're out drinking together. Two people, preferably one buy the damn round and call it a day. Then rotate for the next round, pretty simple. When I have to spend 2 minutes running and printing 6 different CC receipts and then at some point putting them in the system, well, everyone else is waiting for drinks while you're busy being a poor.
11. Finally, if you even think about whistling I will take your drink, dump it on the floor and present you with your credit card receipt so fast it'll already be showing up on your iPhone wallet app before you even sign it. Honestly don't even wave at me. I'll be there when I finish what I'm doing. Do you wave at the teller at the bank while you're in line to let her know you need something?
Customers are the reason most good bartenders are backed up 9 out of 10 times. If you take 5 minutes to order, then everyone else at the bar is having to wait those 5 minutes as well. So do me and your fellow patrons a favor, follow these rules and I'm sure you'll be well on your way to poor decisions, handing me plenty of your hard earned cash and finally blacking out.
Don't thank me now, just hand me some cash when you come into the bar this weekend.
You think that KW is one of the worst spots to bartend? Hmmmm....heavily disagree. I will say Jimmy Buffet fans are the worst of almost all people.![[cheers]](https://ct.yimg.com/mr/uploads/891/5628.gif "Cheers [cheers]")
