How To Not Annoy Your Bartender/Get Drinks In A Timely Fashion
- Thread starter roguemocha
- Start date
um.......I would
if he's not an ***hole
Also depends on how well the bartender knows calculus. I might have homework I need help on.
Reading the OP's rant I looked at his user name and can't recall seeing him much on this site yet he has 5000 posts. Then I looked again at the rant and was very thankful for that fact.
Are you like some sort of coffee outlaw or is that how earnest hemingway pronounced "rug muncher"?
I wonder when the DSM-VI or whatever number they are up to will come out. I bet it has internet narcissist as a new diagnosis; assuming it's not already in it.
Congrats on saying something that can be applied to every job ever (including yours) at some point in the past, present or future. So...right back at you?
I'd say that profession is safe for a couple more decades.
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I can't believe i ignored this thread for so long. It has been a blast! I can't imagine any bartender, nevermind a successful one, acting the way this dude acts. If you are doing a job that has to have tips from customers to make money, no way you have the attitude this guy seems to have. I'm thinking this thread was meant to be funny, but just missed. If you act like you do on here in real life, no way are you making 100k a year. You would have been fired a long time ago, or got your azz kicked so many times you finally decided the decent money you make just isn't worth the abuse you have to take daily. You are starting to sound like you want to be tipped better than average, while not having to do your actual job. Like i said, i'm sure this thread started out as a joke. It just went wrong in a hurry. I know you can't be as big of a jerk as you seem in this thread. If you really are like this in real life, i'm thinking the 2 months you took off work wasn't your choice. My guess is you probably have pissed off way too many deep pocket regulars that visit the bar.
The hipster part of me likes Rogue, because everyone else hates him.
But I know deep in my heart that Rogue would short my change on a Hamilton.
But I know deep in my heart that Rogue would short my change on a Hamilton.
Never had my ass kicked, I mean you're drinking, if you attack anyone who is working at an establishment what do you think is going to happen? You'll likely get gang-tackled and shortly arrested. It's happened A LOT at bars. The cops aren't ever going to believe to the person drinking vs the establishment. Plus, have you ever seen someone drunk try and fight? Pretty damn hilarious.
@Willy4UK I'd never short change anyone, especially you, purposely. And the stories you'd tell in particular I'd probably get in trouble for ignoring other customers and listening to your tales. I mean if I short-changed everyone a dollar(9-10 would realize it at least) I'd have to do that obviously 100x a day to make an extra $100. That's not worth it bud, not for the money I make without stealing.
If a bartender is going to steal it's going to be from the company. As in, someone comes in and orders a round for like 7 people and pays cash. Bartender says $42.50 or whatever and guy says keep the $50. Then boom, you made $50. Any bar manager worth a shit would catch that quick though. If you were going to nickel and dime people it wouldn't be worth the effort.
Now given, sometimes bartenders might write in a tip if you sign a check a stiff them but that's more likely with a foreign person.
@Willy4UK I'd never short change anyone, especially you, purposely. And the stories you'd tell in particular I'd probably get in trouble for ignoring other customers and listening to your tales. I mean if I short-changed everyone a dollar(9-10 would realize it at least) I'd have to do that obviously 100x a day to make an extra $100. That's not worth it bud, not for the money I make without stealing.
If a bartender is going to steal it's going to be from the company. As in, someone comes in and orders a round for like 7 people and pays cash. Bartender says $42.50 or whatever and guy says keep the $50. Then boom, you made $50. Any bar manager worth a shit would catch that quick though. If you were going to nickel and dime people it wouldn't be worth the effort.
Now given, sometimes bartenders might write in a tip if you sign a check a stiff them but that's more likely with a foreign person.
Rogue, I was projecting. If I were a bartender, I would steal as much as I could. My bread and butter would be blind alcoholics
Im sure there is a drag bar you could find gainful employment at.
In fact, i think Pulse has some recent openings.
This thread was pure gold. It was an honor to learn about the life of a bartender.
Bartenders are one step up from toilet scrubbers, most of them are self righteous douche bags I won’t whistle but I’ll snap my fingers at the loser behind the bar chop chop little one
The amount of semen and spit you've unknowingly drank can be measured in gallons btw.
As a former bartender during my UK days (TW Lee's, corner of Richmond and New Circle, if anyone remembers) I'll add a few other nuggets that I learned:
We free poured everything. Figure out which regulars tip well for heavy pours... you'll do REALLY well on tips.
Don't spin beer bottles unless YOU KNOW ITS COMPLETELY EMPTY. I spun a beer bottle one night and SOAKED 2 old ladies.
If you see some folks getting hammered... have a little fun with them. Dare them to drink a new drink (that you just made up). I had a male patron bragging about his alcohol tolerance to some hot females (that I was interested in also, as my shift was ending soon). I dared him to drink the house special "Old Squirrel Nuts". It was basically a shot of bitters with very little vodka, with whipped cream on top. Fifteen minutes later, he's in the bathroom... puking.
I won.
We free poured everything. Figure out which regulars tip well for heavy pours... you'll do REALLY well on tips.
Don't spin beer bottles unless YOU KNOW ITS COMPLETELY EMPTY. I spun a beer bottle one night and SOAKED 2 old ladies.
If you see some folks getting hammered... have a little fun with them. Dare them to drink a new drink (that you just made up). I had a male patron bragging about his alcohol tolerance to some hot females (that I was interested in also, as my shift was ending soon). I dared him to drink the house special "Old Squirrel Nuts". It was basically a shot of bitters with very little vodka, with whipped cream on top. Fifteen minutes later, he's in the bathroom... puking.
I won.
Another first world problem us teetotalers don't have to be concerned about.
This had me laughing so hard I was spitting my coffee out.
Probably because I’ve been behind everyone of these types of douchebags.
But listening all night to people talk about their problems. Seriously props if you can stand it.
I work in a super touristy town. People are happy and partying every night of the week. It’s not Moe’s with a bunch of local losers drinking draft beer. And if they wanted to tell me their problems I’d ask them if I looked like their mother, because I don’t give a shit your girlfriend blew Todd.
Add that one to the list, we’re not here to care about you or let you bend our ear. Order your drink and get some goddamn friends that will listen to you if that what you need.
Add that one to the list, we’re not here to care about you or let you bend our ear. Order your drink and get some goddamn friends that will listen to you if that what you need.
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