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Or teach their freshman DB to move on D, like somewhere, anywhere, dude just sat there frozen like Mitch McConnell on that last TD drive.
 
Are you guys totally amped for the NFL today?

What kind of wacky outfit will Joe Burrow be wearing today? Which player has the craziest beard this week? I mean, facial hair… woah look out! Which team going into week 2 is in a must-win situation? Who are your top 5 must-have fantasy sleepers in non-standard flex half point PPR? You’ll never guess what this fantasy league made the last place finisher do (hint: he had to eat 12 waffles even though he really didn’t want to). But next, we’re gonna find out about this player’s uncle who has been battling ass cancer and how it has made the player like totally bummed out — right after our half hour FanDuel special where you can use the discount code “DEADINSIDE” and for every $200 you lose you’ll get an additional $10 to lose the next day.
 
Are you guys totally amped for the NFL today?

What kind of wacky outfit will Joe Burrow be wearing today? Which player has the craziest beard this week? I mean, facial hair… woah look out! Which team going into week 2 is in a must-win situation? Who are your top 5 must-have fantasy sleepers in non-standard flex half point PPR? You’ll never guess what this fantasy league made the last place finisher do (hint: he had to eat 12 waffles even though he really didn’t want to). But next, we’re gonna find out about this player’s uncle who has been battling ass cancer and how it’s made the player like totally bummed out — right after our half hour FanDuel special where you can use the discount code “DEADINSIDE” and for every $200 you lose you’ll get an additional $10 to lose the next day.
Guess you are not amped.
 
If we're stuck with an entire pool of morally bankrupt, lower-middle IQ, opportunistic parasites, when we make the seemingly pointless trip to the voting booth, is it too much to ask that we at least pick the ones with Premium+ fake tits, trashy good looks, and a penchant for a good time, rather than fvcking Mitch McConnell?

This isn't rocket science folks...
 
I was making out with my gf during Schindler’s List and apparently my mailman saw us. He told my parents and they were not happy. Hell, I’m not even Jewish and I got in trouble.
Are you from Flemingsburg? I dated a gal in college who lost her virginity while watching that movie. Young Wayne D didn’t see that as a red flag. Chick was nuts man.
 
Are you from Flemingsburg? I dated a gal in college who lost her virginity while watching that movie. Young Wayne D didn’t see that as a red flag. Chick was nuts man.

I don’t know about that gal but mine had one the best racks I’d ever seen. I mean it, they were both real and spectacular.
 
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