We made Dr. Ireland our chapter's faculty advisor one year and I had to get him to agree to do it. He was pretty furious about it initially, but the old man eventually agreed. Paraphrasing, but the conversation went something like this once I got him on the phone.
"Oh God damn it. Nobody's asked me to do this in years. Is there ANYTHING involved with it?"
Not really, I guess if you don't want to. A lot of the guys had your US History courses and all seemed to like them and you, so we thought...
"Like not a
damn thing.
IF I agreed to do this, I don't have to go anywhere, write anything, talk to you all ever, read anything... nothing.
If for some reason you guys thought it would be nice to invite me over for dinner one night, I would ignore the invitation and resign immediately. I don't want any tasks or obligations."
Yea, I suppose that would be fine with us. I just need one signatu...
"What fraternity is this again?
SAE. We're on Rose La-...
"Aren't you all the idiots who made a prohibition style bookcase in the house that was really a bar and the Dean caught you? Then they made you haul it out to the dumpster?"
Yes, I suppose that was us. It wasn't reall-...
"That harkened back to prohibition when... (5 minute prohibition rant I stopped listening to)"
Yea it was pretty cool, actually. We're on social probation now though.
"Well that was something. I'm serious, though.
NOTHING.
DO NOT ask me for anything. I'll deny the responsibility."
Yea, nothing. Not really sure why we need one to be honest. I'd just need you to sign one thing and I can bring it to your office.
"FINE, but that's the only thing I'll do for you is sign one paper if you bring it directly to me. That is the extent of this association."
Uh, yea. I'll bring it tomorrow.
"Okay I'll see you then.
BYE."
Like I said, a true Master.