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engagement rings

d2atTech

Junior
Apr 15, 2009
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so i'm going to ask my girl to marry me, but i still don't have a sense for what is important in a diamond ring. she's still in school and i just graduated in june (first year of working a real job), so we aren't looking for anything extravagant. what types to price ranges are reasonable? is 1k too much for the ring? do girls care more about the quality (hearts and arrows rating) or the size?
 
$1k is super cheap. I get jewelry may not be her thing, but average cost of ring is around $4k.

The rule varies from 1-3 months salary.

Also, the four C. Cut, clarity, carat, color.

Style important.she like gold? Platinum? For band.

My wife has a 1930s estate ring. She hates gold and modern jewelry and it was platinum.
 
Unless you work at Kroger 1k is not enough. You need to be above 1 carat on the diamond for any salary between $30000-$50000. Real nice ring and maybe a little bigger stone for salaries above that up to $70000. Between $70000 and $100000 you gotta go 2 carat and real nice ring. Keep sliding up the scale if you make more than that.
 
OP- remember. Diamonds are overpriced and artificially inflated. Truthfully, go to TJ Maxx or Ross For Less and get a ring. Save the money.
 
Pretty sure just getting a big Southwestern Indian turquoise should be enough. If she protests, tell her that it's part of your heritage. If she really loves you, she won't do any fact checking.
 
-an average ring will run you about 1-3 months pay.......or about 10% your annual income
-you can't really go too expensive but you can easily go too inexpensive.
-remember that she likely has been dreaming about his forever. So, as far as the proposal itself.....you can't go too big but you can be too small. And keep her in mind as well. Football scoreboards are important to us guys but most girls won't want football involved.
-if all goes well you will do this once in your life.
-the proposal never goes 100% as you draw it up in your head. Have back up plans and be ready to roll with the punches.

-now, some thoughts on the ring.
-most girls won't he surprised about an engagement coming. I capitalized on this. We went to 3-4 different stores and I had her sized and looked at what style she liked. The stores will even keep cheat sheets for you so that you don't have to remember the size/style. My wife didn't know which ring she was getting but she was sure to get a size and style she wanted. i proposed a few months later.
-I went for a top level diamond. When the girls in the stores tried to play "pick which rock is the best" I tended to win. Some people can see flaws in the rock rock off and some can't.
 
Diamonds are such a damned racket. Don't buy through a retailer. If you go to Jared, you're an imbecile. I bought (financed) my wife's ring when I was still in school. About 1/2 carat and $4k. The only people that care are other money grubbing gold digging hoebags. If your life is all about impressing other people, buy a big ring.

As for what to get, shop with her. Let her tell you what she wants. No woman wants to be surprised about getting married, regardless of what sappy ass rom coms tell you. They want to be surprised about how, when and where you propose.
 
The size isn't as important as the color IMO - love seeing people brag about the size but it has a tint to it or the clarity sucks
 
I married my wife right after college before we were financially stable. She didn't expect an expensive ring. Heck, she didn't want us saddled with the bills. We bought wedding bands and went to the Justice of the Peace. We then bought a decent car and moved to San Diego so I could get a good job.

Don't listen to those effeminates above telling you about rules. Those guys probably subscribe to bridal magazine. Those rules are for bitches who are more concerned with impressing their friends than building a life with you. Maybe most are like that, but not all.
 
Originally posted by IdaCat:
Don't listen to those effeminates above telling you about rules. Those guys probably subscribe to bridal magazine. Those rules are for bitches who are more concerned with impressing their friends than building a life with you. Maybe most are like that, but not all.
Best advice in the thread. Don't worry about cost too much, especially at this time/stage of your life. Do what you reasonably can and she should/better appreciate it. 15-20 years down the road, you can always get something more expensive.
 
Your best bet is to set a budget and take her shopping. Let her pick something that she likes and isn't embarrassed to show her friends. But don't be a cheap ass because every single female she knows is going to look at it and judge her based upon it.
 
Originally posted by Vandalayindustries:


Originally posted by IdaCat:
Don't listen to those effeminates above telling you about rules. Those guys probably subscribe to bridal magazine. Those rules are for bitches who are more concerned with impressing their friends than building a life with you. Maybe most are like that, but not all.
Best advice in the thread. Don't worry about cost too much, especially at this time/stage of your life. Do what you reasonably can and she should/better appreciate it. 15-20 years down the road, you can always get something more expensive.
This is actually how I feel. I'm very practical. In my mind, I would purchase a cheap ring.......get married in front of my immediate family with a cheap, cheap, cheap ceremony.....have a really good honeymoon......then live my life.

The problem is that the engagement, the ceremony, the honeymoon, etc, is all about the bride and what she wants. And most women want that stuff. My wife is very practical compared to most women. She wanted a really good ring, a small/cheap wedding, and a big honeymoon. Most women want big everything......not all but most. So you really have to talk to her about what she wants. If she is targeting cheap rings then great, you hit the jackpot. If she wants a big time ring, then you'd better be willing to spend a jackpot.
 
Originally posted by IdaCat:
I married my wife right after college before we were financially stable. She didn't expect an expensive ring. Heck, she didn't want us saddled with the bills. We bought wedding bands and went to the Justice of the Peace. We then bought a decent car and moved to San Diego so I could get a good job.

Don't listen to those effeminates above telling you about rules. Those guys probably subscribe to bridal magazine. Those rules are for bitches who are more concerned with impressing their friends than building a life with you. Maybe most are like that, but not all.
This is good advice. I hada similar situation. Just finished college and started a job, she still had a few years. 20+ years of marriage.

Nothing wrong with getting a ring, if you can afford it. As in, your debts are paid, 401k is funded, etc...
 
I was told to go with 1 carat no matter what. If it works out then upgrade it at 10 yrs, if it doesn't then it's not like I wasted a fortune because the guy doesn't get those back.

I spent about $4500 and have plenty of room to upgrade. At Davis they have an incentive that you can upgrade and trade your ring in at the price you paid for credit to the upgrade.
 
Originally posted by Bill Cosby:

Your best bet is to set a budget and take her shopping.
^ this.

I know some may think it takes away from the surprise or whatever...but I didn't give a shit, and neither did she. We went to every place in town, she found 3-4 she really liked, and ONE that she loved.

I went back the next day and bought it, waited 5 months, and proposed. I'm sure she knew I'd get her the one she loved and wouldn't stop talking about...which was fine.

I *definitely* was not going to drop that kind of money on something I'm completely ignorant about without being sure it's *exactly* what she wanted. JMO
 
I think a minimum of $5k even if you work in retail or fast food. Think of it as buying everything at Dollar Tree. You can, but it's not a good idea. This is an investment, not an expense. It's about the love.
 
Originally posted by We-Todd-Did:
This is an investment, not an expense. It's about the love.
An investment? Love?

Baby, I love you $5,000 worth, right now. Later on I might upgrade your love an extra grand or so. Be sure to not let my love for you fall in the garbage disposal.
 
If you can't spend minimum of 5-10k on a ring then you should get a new job or wait to get married. Not a good way to start a marriage with a cheap ring. Don't care what anyone says, all women want a nice ring and will think you are cheap if you buy a little rock.
 
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Some of these responses are idiotic.

My agency manager, who makes multiples of 6figs spend $2500 on his wife's ring back in the day when he was fresh out of college with little money...and she still has it. I'm sure she'll get a nice upgrade one day...but it's not important to her.

I have friends who've spent 20K on a ring, and I have friends who've spent $1500. My BIL, 25, just proposed to his longtime girlfriend, and spent $2800 -- she's the happiest girl on this planet currently.

This whole notion that there is a "minimum" price range for a ring is absolutely stupid. Every personal situation (and woman) is different.

Set a budget, spend what you can afford, find something she likes, and if she loves you she'll be the happiest girl around when you put it on her finger. You can find nice rings in almost any price range, and DEFINITELY for a few grand.

Jesus.



.
This post was edited on 1/22 9:34 AM by B.B.d.K.
 
Originally posted by funKYcat75:
Originally posted by We-Todd-Did:
This is an investment, not an expense. It's about the love.
An investment? Love?

Baby, I love you $5,000 worth, right now. Later on I might upgrade your love an extra grand or so. Be sure to not let my love for you fall in the garbage disposal.
You only look at things with your brain. Try seeing them with your heart.
 
Get a simple engagement ring that you can afford to save up for over 4-5 months or finance if that is your thing. Pay attention to the quality of the stone but get something big enough to not look cheesy. This ring thing is a tradition that you should acknowledge but you will BOTH be better off the more cash you have. Same deal for a wedding. An expensive wedding doesn't play a factor in a good marriage. Our wedding probably cost $1000. Married 22 years and going very strong so...

When you have been married 20 years and you are likely much better off buy a 1+ carat that costs the same as a good used car due to the ridicto quality of the diamond. Learn about the market and the stones and you will know the type of setting that she likes by then. It will reward you to give a gift like that purely out of a sense of pride in your relationship. It will reward her to know that you cared enough to give a $#it about what you were giving her.

?

Profit
 
Originally posted by We-Todd-Did:

You only look at things with your brain. Try seeing them with your heart.
Been married 18 years, so my heart is doing just fine, chief.

I suppose you fellas who drop 10% of your income on a ring also give your bride's family an acre of land a 40 head of cattle.
 
If you are not going for surprise, involve her in the process. You might get lucky and find out she wants a non-diamond like sapphire, slightly less marked up but much harder to shop for. There are some reputable Internet diamond sellers where you can get a certified stone for less than at a retailer. If you follow the 4 Cs and buy from a reputable vendor, diamonds, despite their insane markup, are largely a commodity and you can shop around for a slight deal. Also, if you buy online you might save on sales tax. Or if you live near a state border, you might be able to have the guy "ship" it to you and save the sales tax. Adds up on a big purchase.
 
My wife and I "shopped" for her ring and ended up with one for one around $350.

I was making *close to* six figures at the time.

Good luck.



This post was edited on 1/22 7:47 AM by Joey Rupption
 
Diamond engagement rings are an absolute racket. It's an old rock who's value has been inflated through marketing. That being said, unless your girl truly doesn't care about what other women think (we're talking one in about 5 million here), you need to go as nice and big as you can afford.

Here's how you get the most bang for your buck. (aside from buying used)

-DO NOT buy from a chain dealer. The prices are ridiculously inflated and they can only come down a certain percentage.

-Determine your budget, and bring cash. Avoid financing if you're able. You'll be able to negotiate a better price.

-Research prices for the size and style you think she wants.

-Find a locally owned store, preferably one where the owner still works the sales floor. This is the person that has the authority to make decisions on price.

-Wait until at least March to buy. Nov.- Feb. is when most engagement rings are sold and they won't be as desperate to make a sale.

Good luck. If you're like me, you'll forever be pissed that you spent that much on a piece of jewelry. But hey, at least she'll have something to show her friends, right?
 
Enough joking for me. Truth is, De Beers is probably the most unethical corporation I can think of and deserves a boycott in the worst way. I can't advise anyone to give them a penny for their sparkly rocks. Buy her a nice estate piece or a different gem. Get her involved so she will be happy with it. Don't blow a ton of cash either, I could have gotten my wife a cz and she would have never known.
 
Originally posted by Vandalayindustries:


Originally posted by IdaCat:
Don't listen to those effeminates above telling you about rules. Those guys probably subscribe to bridal magazine. Those rules are for bitches who are more concerned with impressing their friends than building a life with you. Maybe most are like that, but not all.
Best advice in the thread. Don't worry about cost too much, especially at this time/stage of your life. Do what you reasonably can and she should/better appreciate it. 15-20 years down the road, you can always get something more expensive.
Yep. Discuss how much you both can afford. Go with her when she picks it out. Profit.

If she whines about the ring not being big enough, or you not spending enough - run. Im dead serious.
 
eff all the jewelry stores....If you guys are worried about how much to spend on a ring you need to go to your local tractor supply and make the purchase. They call em "hog rings"..goes through the end of your nose so she can lead you around the rest of your life..If as a couple you are truly in love and wanna spend the rest of your life together one from a cracker jacks box serves the same purpose and she will be just as happy with...43 yrs here of happy marriage, first ring under fity bucks. Wait until ya see if the thing is even going to last before spending high dollar.. I can see the episode of cheaters now..Guy goes big on engagement ring, while working nights and overtime to pay for ring, within the first of year of marriage horney newlywed gets lonely while the hubs is ball busting to pay for ring, suspicion starts to awake so Joey (Mr. Cheaters) gets the call and the cameras roll...Horney newlywed is caught red handed with friend named Jock Longrod, confrontation ensues with horney newlywed walking off with Jock Longrod as the hubs is left holding the bag with the next 24 month's of installments for high dollar ring bought to impress..Jus sayin



This post was edited on 1/22 8:32 AM by 55wildcat
 
Originally posted by d2atTech:
so i'm going to ask my girl to marry me, but i still don't have a sense for what is important in a diamond ring. she's still in school and i just graduated in june (first year of working a real job), so we aren't looking for anything extravagant. what types to price ranges are reasonable? is 1k too much for the ring? do girls care more about the quality (hearts and arrows rating) or the size?
Wait, are you the guy who was just asking about wine advice to impress a girl? Wasn;t that like 2-3 months ago? Same guy?
 
Originally posted by BlueRaider22:......
-you can't really go too expensive but...
laugh.r191677.gif


Congrats. There's been a lot of horrific advice given in The Paddock but this actually made me cringe.

And a big
rolleyes.r191677.gif
to "2 carats is a minimum if you make $70k+ blah blah blah'..."

Set a budget and involve her (you might think you know her tastes/preferences but she knows them better).


This post was edited on 1/22 10:22 AM by ukalum01
 
Remember OP, an innocent child was likely maimed or even killed so that you could put an idiotic clear rock on your chick's finger.

blood-diamond-3.jpg
 
Originally posted by maverick1:
Remember OP, an innocent child was likely maimed or even killed so that you could put an idiotic clear rock on your chick's finger.

laugh.r191677.gif
 
Surprising my wife with an engagement ring was certainly one of the top moments in my life. I couldn't imagine shopping for a ring with her. But that experience is going to be different for everyone.

I personally went with the size just below a caret and focused on the cut and clarity of the ring. My wife still gets compliments on her ring decades later. A smaller size with a better cut and clarity is going to sparkle a lot. And at the end of the day, its the attention that they are looking for.

I haven't shopped for an engagement ring in a long time, but $4000 seems way too excessive to me. I spent around $1500, and even with inflation I couldn't imagine spending more than $2000. And if 1K is your budget, you can certainly find something in that range. Just make certain to get what you can afford. She is going to love it regardless, and you don't want to start your relationship by putting yourself into some kind of financial hole.
 
Originally posted by ukalum01:


Originally posted by BlueRaider22:......
-you can't really go too expensive but...
laugh.r191677.gif


Congrats. There's been a lot of horrific advice given in The Paddock but this actually made me cringe.

And a big
rolleyes.r191677.gif
to "2 carats is a minimum if you make $70k+ blah blah blah'..."

Set a budget and involve her (you might think you know her tastes/preferences but she knows them better).


This post was edited on 1/22 10:22 AM by ukalum01
You took me too literal and completely missed the point. The point is that the ring is about what the woman wants. Most women are going to be way more forgiving to someone that goes overboard than someone that goes underboard. That was the point.

Obviously, setting a budget and involving her is the best option......which is what I explained that I did.
 
You just need to do a ton of research before you do anything. Even before shopping with her. You need to know what you're doing when you go look at them so you can ask the right questions and understand the answers. You're investing a good bit of money into this and it is something she will (hopefully) cherish for a long time so do your footwork. Once you know what you're doing you can then decide to either take her to shop for them or shop yourself. Personally, I employed a friend of hers that I trusted to pry and randomly ask her what kind of ring she liked best and some stuff like that. So, I had a basic idea of what she liked. Mom and pop stores are going to be much cheaper and will be able to work with you on price. Jared's, Kay's, and several others are actually all one company and so almost all of their styles are going to be the same and overpriced. Personally, I ended up getting the ring online from James Allen. More expensive than mom and pop stores, but they were the only place that had the setting that I really wanted. Also, I put more value into where I proposed and how I proposed than the ring itself. Hope this helps. Good luck.
 
Originally posted by Bill Cosby:

Your best bet is to set a budget and take her shopping. Let her pick something that she likes and isn't embarrassed to show her friends. But don't be a cheap ass because every single female she knows is going to look at it and judge her based upon it.
Since life is all about impressing materialistic tramps...

Listen, a ring is more of a status symbol more than anything. Next it is a symbol of your love. If you buy your girl a $10k ring yet make $20k a year and live in the Preakness apartments, then nobody is going to be fooled.

Buy what you can afford. Something that is a financial commitment but won't bury you. 2 months gross salary is a good ceiling.
 
Originally posted by Perrin75:
Surprising my wife with an engagement ring was certainly one of the top moments in my life.
I was "gay married" to my wife before we were actually married.

So a lot of the surprise element was gone.
 
My girl and I were going to go to the courthouse and get married then she got preggo. So I have now saved all kinds of money and get major tax refunds for her being a single mom and going to school while living with me. Taking advantage of the liberal president
wink.r191677.gif



When I do finally decide to pop the question I will probably take out a small loan and get her a decent sized ring
 
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