D-League: Got to keep up that Fast Paste Edition

[FutureCityCats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

I don't know Willy, some of that sounds a bit risky. So, here's one. Go to one of those gag gift party stores and get a can of that spray that smells like cow crap. In the morning, eat a big breakfast, then around noon, start complaining of stomach cramps. Go into bathroom. Stay long. Before exit, spray down the room with the cow crap spray. Repeat every hour. Claim to be gassy as well. Might even spray some in the living space. Wife will be begging you to stay home. FCC.

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition


FCC- Ha haha! I don't need dung spray. Wife already thinks I have some kinda farting disorder anyway.

 

[FutureCityCats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Willy4UK:

FCC- Ha haha! I don't need dung spray. Wife already thinks I have some kinda farting disorder anyway.

Lucky you having so many helpful friends. FCC.

 

[UKGrad93]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition


Look, the bad stomach thing isn't going to work if Willy is already a farty feller. Its just not different enough. Here is another plan.

You may need an ax or hatchet, don't worry nothing illegal.

As your wife is getting ready for the dance, taking her nice warm shower, you hatchet the water heater, and open up the drain valve. Whatever you have to do to quickly drain that tank and create a mess. Also at this point your wife will have cold water pouring down on her head. She will know there is something very wrong & will want it fixed.

Its obvious that you now have a small disaster to take care of. You agree to stay behind to deal with this disaster. Not only do you get to stay home, but you also get to be the hero.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Cobra Kai plan? Call Jeff Gillooly

 

[maverick1]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Willy4UK:
One time I tried swallowing a condom with weed in it to take on a flight. Drank vegetable oil to get the condom down my throat. Welp. Ended up puking in some doctor's parking lot at 8 a.m on the way to the airport. haha

Of all the funny shit that you've posted over the years this is easily top-3. Your life history and resume' was already legendary, but adding 'drug mule' vaults it over the top

.

 

[-LEK-]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Everyone knows you shove weed up your ass. Duh.

-Willy, what are these discount tickets?

-Anyone going to Final 4?

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition


93- Wish that could work. I live in apartment. haha Although the apt place would have to fix it. I've decied that I will go and make the best of it. Will prolly be an asshat all night. Like a spoiled 5 yr old.

Kooky- You reckon if Jeff Gillooly had know the what Tanya Harding would've looked like in 20 years, would he have risked prison for that?

Mav- Yeah, that was just 2 years ago. I was 38 yrs old and swallowing condoms. Shakin' my head.

LEK- I thought about that, but with these X-ray machines, I figured they see something lodged up in my crack. And the tickets can vary as far as deals, just have to catch them when they happen. I do like me some Universal Studios deals. Cheap. Disney is a tough place to get discounts. The best I have found was about $10 bucks off. But Universal has some steals.

This post was edited on 4/3 11:36 AM by Willy4UK

This post was edited on 4/3 11:37 AM by Willy4UK

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Willy4UK:
One time I tried swallowing a condom with weed in it to take on a flight. Drank vegetable oil to get the condom down my throat. Welp. Ended up puking in some doctor's parking lot at 8 a.m on the way to the airport. haha

Of all the funny shit that you've posted over the years this is easily top-3. Your life history and resume' was already legendary, but adding FAILED 'drug mule' vaults it over the top

.

FIFY

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Kaizer Sosay:

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Willy4UK:
One time I tried swallowing a condom with weed in it to take on a flight. Drank vegetable oil to get the condom down my throat. Welp. Ended up puking in some doctor's parking lot at 8 a.m on the way to the airport. haha

Of all the funny shit that you've posted over the years this is easily top-3. Your life history and resume' was already legendary, but adding FAILED 'drug mule' vaults it over the top

.

FIFY

100% truth.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by -LEK-:
Everyone knows you shove weed up your ass. Duh.

-Willy, what are these discount tickets?

-Anyone going to Final 4?

We might be going to the final game but won't be back from Wally World in time to go to the semi final game.

 

[maverick1]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Willy4UK:

Originally posted by Kaizer Sosay:

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Willy4UK:
One time I tried swallowing a condom with weed in it to take on a flight. Drank vegetable oil to get the condom down my throat. Welp. Ended up puking in some doctor's parking lot at 8 a.m on the way to the airport. haha

Of all the funny shit that you've posted over the years this is easily top-3. Your life history and resume' was already legendary, but adding FAILED 'drug mule' vaults it over the top

.

FIFY

(still chuckling thinking about you puking up a refer filled rubber

-- was it a "Trojan Magnum" by any chance?)

 

[UKGrad93]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition


Willy, weed up your ass would have just looked like a turd on the x-ray. I'd say it would make you even less likely for a cavity search.

 

[FutureCityCats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Hope everyone's doing OK today. Had a long talk last night with someone I trusted much. Today not so much. That's all I can say. When I give you my word, by dam you can write it down and stand on it. I've had to go around that mountain once again and learn that others might tell you that, but not mean it. Vagueness intentional. FCC.

 

[UKGrad93]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition


FCC - trust is everything as far as I'm concerned. It's a hard thing when you find out someone is untrustworthy. I found that out this week and it sucks.

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by UKGrad93:

Willy, weed up your ass would have just looked like a turd on the x-ray. I'd say it would make you even less likely for a cavity search.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Willy4UK:

Kooky- You reckon if Jeff Gillooly had know the what Tanya Harding would've looked like in 20 years, would he have risked prison for that?

Willy - I'm the wrong person to ask. I'd still hit Tonya Harding. I got a thing for crazy, white-trash chicks with badonkadonks...(Actually, that qualifies me for having a 'thing' for half the population in the state of Indiana).

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

 

[BlueRupp]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

What weather have you all been getting? Tons of rain and wind here with a brief hail storm yesterday.

 

[argubs2]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

This is basically me right now waiting for tomorrow night.

Excruciating is not the word.

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition


Kooky- Well, plus you may get a reality show outta that deal. Worth it.

Blue Rupp- Warm and hit here. How that 4-way go?

 

[maverick1]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by BlueRupp:
What weather have you all been getting? Tons of rain and wind here with a brief hail storm yesterday.

Noahcian raining here, all friggin day.

 

[maverick1]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

I dunno brother, I mean I get what yer sayin' and all, but still...that mouth -- like Quint said, "mouth like that, swallow a man whole."

 

[Kooky Kats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

I dunno brother, I mean I get what yer sayin' and all, but still...that mouth -- like Quint said, "mouth like that, swallow a man whole."

That's the idea.

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

@ Mav

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

Would that be a triple decker vertical roast beef sandwich with a special kooky secret sauce filling?

 

[AustinTXCat]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

I dunno brother, I mean I get what yer sayin' and all, but still...that mouth -- like Quint said, "mouth like that, swallow a man whole."

Good god! Nancy owns a set of choppers I had not realized even existed on this Earth we inhabit. Jeezus, man.

 

[Kooky Kats]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Kaizer Sosay:

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

Would that be a triple decker vertical roast beef sandwich with a special kooky secret sauce filling?

Triple Sowcow Toeloop vertical roast beef sandwich with Kooky Horsey Sauce.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

Triple Sowcow Toeloop vertical roast beef sandwich with Kooky Horsey Sauce.

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by AustinTXCat:

Good god! Nancy owns a set of choppers I had not realized even existed on this Earth we inhabit. Jeezus, man.

laughed at "Kooky's horsey sauce"

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by AustinTXCat:

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Kooky Kats:

That said, I'd get all Giloolly in a Harding/Kerrigan/Kwan/Kooky sandwhich.

I dunno brother, I mean I get what yer sayin' and all, but still...that mouth -- like Quint said, "mouth like that, swallow a man whole."

Good god! Nancy owns a set of choppers I had not realized even existed on this Earth we inhabit. Jeezus, man.

While that is indeed true...mav adjusted that photo a bit to exaggerate a point...as he is inclined to do from time to time.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

It's game day, punks! And 9pm is a loooooong way away. So you jackals better be in full-on entertainment mode for the next 13 hours.

Message from the one armed scissor: Cut away...cut away...

Message from the Wally World-weary traveling D-Leaguer: Post away...post away...

 

[Desperado_1955]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Gotta do the Easter Egg hunt thing today with grandkids and about 250,000 neighbor kids that show up at our house to participate. After that, spend 2 GD hours cleaning up the yard, etc. from said egg hunt, and trying to get them to go home so that I can do some serious drinking to get ready for the game. Got some friends coming over to the Man Cave for the Final Four Festivities. Alcohol and food will abound.

 

[Willy4UK]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Desperado_1955:
Gotta do the Easter Egg hunt thing today with grandkids and about 250,000 neighbor kids that show up at our house to participate. After that, spend 2 GD hours cleaning up the yard, etc. from said egg hunt, and trying to get them to go home so that I can do some serious drinking to get ready for the game. Got some friends coming over to the Man Cave for the Final Four Festivities. Alcohol and food will abound.

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Desperado_1955:
Gotta do the Easter Egg hunt thing today with grandkids and about 250,000 neighbor kids that show up at our house to participate. After that, spend 2 GD hours cleaning up the yard, etc. from said egg hunt, and trying to get them to go home so that I can do some serious drinking to get ready for the game. Got some friends coming over to the Man Cave for the Final Four Festivities. Alcohol and food will abound.

Now that is the kind of neighbor we should all have.

Does he kick your kids off of his lawn? No. He willingly invites them to trample upon it repeatedly during a festive holiday activity. And what does he do after that? He cleans up the mess. Does he stop there? No. He shares food and drink with his adult neighbors inviting them into his humble abode to celebrate another festive activity...a Badger Beatdown.


Warning: Just want to add that you should all prepare yourselves for a long, drawn out MavRant about the term "man cave". Might want to go to the fridge before he gets started. You have been duly warned.

 

[-BBH-]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

All week, have been

Woke up today,

Tip tonight, I'll likely be. . .

- Just ordered 120 wings. Not planning on drinking much, just a drink or two to take the edge off.

- Cats by 7.

- Let's do this. . .

 

[GhostVol]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Hung out with my amigos last night.

Met four lasses from the Upstate having a girls weekend out. One lawyer, one real estate agent (the hottest of the bunch), a civil service worker, and a teacher. The civil service worker took a liking to me (for some strange reason). Within 15 minutes I knew her entire life story (and most of the other ladies too). Must be a female thing.

Gentlemen of the D (and Lady Heshimu if she's around...and I use the term 'Gentlemen' loosely) I give you this for your consideration. You just met a lady. Would you tell her the following within 15 minutes of meeting:

1. Your real estate friend has 3 kids under the age of 12, and divorced.
2. It's the REF's birthday. She's 40.
3. Your son is gay.
4. Your lawyer friend is 51.
5. Your teacher friend and yours spouses are on a fishing trip...and your teacher friend has a thing for black guys even tho she's been married for 19 years.
6. You're 46.
7. If she wasn't married, you'd take her back to your hotel room and rock her world.

All of the above was said to me. While I wholeheartedly agreed with point 7, the other six were points I really didn't want or need to know...

 

[55wildcat]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Willy4UK:

Originally posted by Desperado_1955:
Gotta do the Easter Egg hunt thing today with grandkids and about 250,000 neighbor kids that show up at our house to participate. After that, spend 2 GD hours cleaning up the yard, etc. from said egg hunt, and trying to get them to go home so that I can do some serious drinking to get ready for the game. Got some friends coming over to the Man Cave for the Final Four Festivities. Alcohol and food will abound.

My grand daughters have to have swimming pool parties and birthday parties (because of the pool) every year and it's like you said I gotta do the cleanup and very little "eye reward" (mommies play in the water too) as most look like abstract art in sizes to small glad bag bathing suits. And I know just as sure as I am writing this when all those grand daughter friends are fully developed 18 plus years old they all of a sudden have out grown the pool parties at papas....

 

[55wildcat]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Kaizer Sosay:

Originally posted by Desperado_1955:
Gotta do the Easter Egg hunt thing today with grandkids and about 250,000 neighbor kids that show up at our house to participate. After that, spend 2 GD hours cleaning up the yard, etc. from said egg hunt, and trying to get them to go home so that I can do some serious drinking to get ready for the game. Got some friends coming over to the Man Cave for the Final Four Festivities. Alcohol and food will abound.

Now that is the kind of neighbor we should all have.

Does he kick your kids off of his lawn? No. He willingly invites them to trample upon it repeatedly during a festive holiday activity. And what does he do after that? He cleans up the mess. Does he stop there? No. He shares food and drink with his adult neighbors inviting them into his humble abode to celebrate another festive activity...a Badger Beatdown.


Warning: Just want to add that you should all prepare yourselves for a long, drawn out MavRant about the term "man cave". Might want to go to the fridge before he gets started. You have been duly warned.

KS I bet his place is kickin on Halloween night too! Candy rats love those kinda houses...

 

[55wildcat]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Originally posted by Willy4UK:

Originally posted by AustinTXCat:

Good god! Nancy owns a set of choppers I had not realized even existed on this Earth we inhabit. Jeezus, man.

laughed at "Kooky's horsey sauce"

"Kooky Juice" sounds like some sorta beach drink...

 

[-LEK-]

Re: D-League: Time for Nine Edition

Any D in Indy?