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We need some pick me ups (open thread for basketball jokes, funny UK stories, attractive women, etc.)

There are so many people in this country that can't pick out the United States on a map of the world. The country they freaking live in, they have no idea where it's located on a map. Pathetic! And also funny! But mostly just pathetic.
Many people are leaving the US and moving to Alaska!
 
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That picked me partly up
 
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' Cutter ... I spent 55 years living in KY, 6 miles from the TN state line. You can't believe it !
I guarantee you it's happened 10,000 times ! ! !
I sure can believe it hence my response. I’ve lived probably that close by a straight line to the Tennessee border all my 62 years. I can speak the language lol.
 
I read this story in the book Blue Yonder about Rupp but can’t remember it verbatim so it went like this...

Team had to take two busses back after a putrid SEC road game loss. Bus wrecks some woman’s car into a ditch. Rupp goes to the old woman, “Ma’am if you think this is bad, you should see what these SOBs did to me back there” (referring to the game).
 
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Listening to UK/UT game in final few minutes when Ramel Bradley committed a turnover that caused me to stomp the gas in anger which then lead me to loose control on the ice covered road and hit a hill and flip on my top. Turned the radio up and crawled out the window and listened to the remainder of the game sitting on the guard rail.
 
Adolph Rupp was driving through rural Kentucky one afternoon when he spotted a man selling country hams beside the road. Coach stopped to buy one but realized he didn't have any cash with him, and offered the man a check. The man said he didn't normally take checks from strangers, but Coach Rupp wrote the check anyway, signed it and handed it to the man and proclaimed..."You know who that is don't ya?" The man replied..."Well I'ma hopin' it's you"
 
Sarah Houchens! Check out her Instagram. You’ll thank me later!!!!🥵
 
Hello bitch, nice TITS ahahahahah milky millky milky baby thristy mommy baby want milk suck suck suck suck hahahaha stupid c*nt give me those big udders you sl*t hahahaha tits tit titty me your caveman me use big titty for big bitty hahaha honk honk honk sl*t c*nt mommy honk honk milky baby want more now honk honk honk pitter patter on those big mommy milkies hee hee hee haha haaaa haaaa can't stop the milk truck coming through honk honk all aboard the titty train hee hee wooo wooooooo honk honk honk!!!
 
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A couple of years ago at a sports bar in Lexington several of the well lubricated fans there started acting up. One fan in particular yelled to the crowd" I have a tattoo of the two greatest UK coaches ever tattooed on my ass" Being inquisitive Kentuckians the bar roared " Show us!!" The fellow hoped up on the bar, dropped his pants and bared his backside to the audience. Sure enough on one but cheek was a tattoo of Adolph Rupp, and on the other cheek was a tattoo of Rick Pitino. The crowd roared its approval. They were so loud they woke up a drunken patron at the bar that had passed out earlier. He looked around the room and spied the man baring his ass. He squinted fiercely and said, " I don't know who them 2 fellers on the outside are but that fellow in the middle is John Calipari ".
 
So they can see Russia from their houses?
Politics aside... I do hope you know that wasn’t a real statement. And the statement that SNL based the skit on was factually correct. There are parts of Alaska you can see Russia from. Mainlands are only 50 miles apart and the diomede islands are right next to each other w Russia owning one and US owning one

Now back to hot women...
 
Politics aside... I do hope you know that wasn’t a real statement. And the statement that SNL based the skit on was factually correct. There are parts of Alaska you can see Russia from. Mainlands are only 50 miles apart and the diomede islands are right next to each other w Russia owning one and US owning one

Now back to hot women...

Sarah dropped the Puck at the St. Louis Blues game.

Gonna win our second Stanley Cup in 3 years?!
i
 
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Politics aside... I do hope you know that wasn’t a real statement. And the statement that SNL based the skit on was factually correct. There are parts of Alaska you can see Russia from. Mainlands are only 50 miles apart and the diomede islands are right next to each other w Russia owning one and US owning one

Now back to hot women...

It’s called a joke……
 
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