We need some pick me ups (open thread for basketball jokes, funny UK stories, attractive women, etc.)

[bbncal02]

We’re pretty much on hold until we hear some draft news so let’s have a thread for some fun.

Any funny UK or beastie all stories. stories, good basketball or sports jokes, pics of hot women (or men for the ladies here), etc.

Let’s just have some good natured fun in this thread.

I’ll start…

Why are basketball players always hard to keep in one place?

Because they’re always looking to bounce.

 

[Tampa_cat54]

Something funny I always remember is the story of Rick Pitino kicking Macaulay Culkin (the kid from the Home Alone movies) out of practice one day.

He was pretty famous and on campus for something and tried to watch some practice in Memorial Coliseum with a booster or something, and Pitino didn't give a flying f*ck who the kid was and kicked his ass out.

I just find it hilarious picturing Pitino doing that and the reaction he probably got from Macaulay Culkin.

 

[WhosInTheHouseTonightUK]

I was on To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen back in the day. He comes walking in and berates me for the girl being only 14. I told him that it was messed up because she told me she was 12.

 

[davekersey]

It's not that I drink too many shastas that the back of my driver's license has a list of the organs that I need. Or maybe it is

 

[StubbornPenny]

Something funny I always remember is the story of Rick Pitino kicking Macaulay Culkin (the kid from the Home Alone movies) out of practice one day.

He was pretty famous and on campus for something and tried to watch some practice in Memorial Coliseum with a booster or something, and Pitino didn't give a flying f*ck who the kid was and kicked his ass out.

I just find it hilarious picturing Pitino doing that and the reaction he probably got from Macaulay Culkin.

never heard that one, if I ever meet Culkin, this is the first thing I'm asking him

 

[H00SIER-Cat]

i get my fix for attractive women whenever I scroll through a thread and see @Bkocats profile pic.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

 

[drainthatub]

Why did the Shaedon Sharpe cross the road?

Answer: He didn’t. He just stayed on the bench.

 

[GuyFromKY]

Why do basketball players always have a bunch of children?
They dribble before they shoot.

 

[Ripcord65]

I just posted this in another thread. Pardon the duplication, but ...

My favorite quote from any college basketball player, ever, was from Louisville's Milt Wagner right before the 1986 NCAA Tournament first round. Louisville drew Drexel in the first round. A sportswriter asked Milt what he thought about Drexel. Milt said, "I really don't know anything about Drexel. It must be one of those academic schools."

You can look it up !

 

[WildcatFan1982]

Did you hear about the bank that got robbed in Lexington?

Joe B Hall wouldn't let the guards shoot

 

[saxonburgcat]

I just posted this in another thread. Pardon the duplication, but ...

My favorite quote from any college basketball player, ever, was from Louisville's Milt Wagner right before the 1986 NCAA Tournament first round. Louisville drew Drexel in the first round. A sportswriter asked Milt what he thought about Drexel. Milt said, "I really don't know anything about Drexel. It must be one of those academic schools."

You can look it up !

Back in the day, UNC was going to play Georgia in the NCAA tournament and their star player was asked about the game and he admitted that he had no idea where Georgia was even located. I would love to read that story again. It was so classic.

 

[ColonelCat]

A Tennessee resident got pulled over for speeding, The trooper walked up to the window and asked, "got any i.d."? The man replied, "'bout whut"?

 

[ColonelCat]

When during the NCAA Tourn one year, the winner of an early round would get to play U Alabama Birmingham. One player asked another where's UAB? Without a pause he answered "UA be in Tuscon."

 

[Backer cutter]

A Tennessee resident got pulled over for speeding, The trooper walked up to the window ask asked, "got any i.d."? The man replied, "'bout what"?

That’s a true story, right? Bet it’s happened lol.

 

[Bkocats]

i get my fix for attractive women whenever I scroll through a thread and see @Bkocats profile pic.

Awww gosh
You’re making me blush
😊

 

[Son_Of_Saul]

Why did the Shaedon Sharpe cross the road?

Answer: He didn’t. He just stayed on the bench.

What's blue and white, and has Shaedon Sharpe's safe, draft-stock-protected butt all over it?

Shaedon Sharpe's bench chair!

 

[Son_Of_Saul]

Which inanimate object wins in a cage match?

Pitino's Restaurant Table
Tubby's Bathtub
Sutton's Fed Ex Package
Rose's SAT Test Signature
Morris' Missing Fax
Cal's "The Door"
Sharpe's Bench Chair

I'm going The Bench Chair, for recency bias.

 

[JST390-2]

Lol good thread

 

[St.PatterSoN-54-]

 

[IFerg1969]

Back in the day, UNC was going to play Georgia in the NCAA tournament and their star player was asked about the game and he admitted that he had no idea where Georgia was even located. I would love to read that story again. It was so classic.

There are so many people in this country that can't pick out the United States on a map of the world. The country they freaking live in, they have no idea where it's located on a map. Pathetic! And also funny! But mostly just pathetic.

 

[W1LDCAT22]

Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?

He was afraid of the net!


My little girl came home from school one day excited to tell me that one.

 

[IFerg1969]

Did you hear the Orlando Magic don’t have a website?
They can’t string three W’s together.

 

[bigblue1971]

I miss Wood You Wednesday 😭

 

[Elliott Tim]

We’re pretty much on hold until we hear some draft news so let’s have a thread for some fun.

Any funny UK or beastie all stories. stories, good basketball or sports jokes, pics of hot women (or men for the ladies here), etc.

Let’s just have some good natured fun in this thread.

I’ll start…

Why are basketball players always hard to keep in one place?

Because they’re always looking to bounce.

Heinna in a sentence.. I Heinna gonna change and you can't make me.
Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise a divided fan base on here.

 

[bbncal02]

Did you hear the Reds don’t have a website?
They can’t string three W’s together.

FIFY.

Poor Reds.

 

[WV Wildcat]

I just have one vote but WildcatfaninOhio and St.PatterSon-54- are winning this thread!

 

[LowCountryCat]

I just have one vote but WildcatfaninOhio and St.PatterSon-54- are winning this thread!

Dang I didn't even notice who posted those. Had to go back and look. I better check again. Come to think of it, I'll be in my bunk.

 

[SemperFiCat]

Just here for the hot chick's.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?... The food is good, but it just doesn't have any atmosphere.

 

[zannmann]

Something funny I always remember is the story of Rick Pitino kicking Macaulay Culkin (the kid from the Home Alone movies) out of practice one day.

He was pretty famous and on campus for something and tried to watch some practice in Memorial Coliseum with a booster or something, and Pitino didn't give a flying f*ck who the kid was and kicked his ass out.

I just find it hilarious picturing Pitino doing that and the reaction he probably got from Macaulay Culkin.

I met him that day. It was Halloween. He was visiting Laura Bell Bundy. They were going trick or treating after going to the practice. I didn’t know Pitino threw them out.

 

[BlueWorldOrder74]

 

[BlueWorldOrder74]

 

[blueeggsandham]

What do you get when you mix a Duke Blue Devil with and Arkansas Razorback?
Nothing! There’s some things even pigs won’t mix with…..

 

[OldEvilleCat]

Mothers Day tip: No need to buy your wife a watch...there's a clock on the stove.

 

[St.PatterSoN-54-]

 

[MWes11]

Rickie Fowler's wife. No wonder his golf game has gone to shit.

 

[azurricat2010]

Location: 2009-2010 Midnight Madness

A friend of mine brought a basketball with him to Midnight Madness in hopes of getting it autographed by John Wall and Demarcus Cousins and as luck would have it he managed to ask them for an autograph saying

"Hey, can yall humor me and..."


Eric Bledsoe happened to be there as well and interrupted my friend asking for an autograph saying

"Wtf you talking about?"

To which both Wall and Cousins looked at Eric, laughed and the latter said "he's asking for an autograph stupid"

That's how my friend got them to sign the basketball he brought to Midnight Madness.

 

[St.PatterSoN-54-]

Rickie Fowler's wife. No wonder his golf game has gone to shit.

Yup, he's been busy.

 

[Catman100]

Lots of potential in this thread.

 

[Ugoff]

Yup, he's been busy.

I think that 'stache is his handicap.