OT: This is tough, need some prayers and strength

[BobCat6]

Prayers and healing for you and the family sir!

 

[Johnfarrel]

I brought up quite a few months ago the situation with my uncle whos suffering from dementia. This past week it went from bad to worse. A couple of days before Thanksgiving he went through extreme paranoia. Was threatening the lives of not only myself but also his wife and their dog. We found ourselves going to my aunt's sister's house for the night while her stepson stayed with him.

when we returned he was fine, but as it got later and the recent time change, he got really confused and spent the rest of the night explaining how to do a certain job, where he use to work at, and how everything had to be precise. He didn't fall asleep until 4 am that morning.

Thanksgiving day was terrible, he had a rough night due to basically being up two days straight. I believe he has had a stroke and probably having mini strokes to go along with his dementia. He now can not speak right, it all comes out jibberish, It breaks my heart seeing him this way.

I'm trying my best to help out best I can with my limited capabilities being physically disabled. Just really need strength and prayers here to help me get through this turmoil affecting my life at this moment. My aunt needs them as well, this could cause her to have a mental breakdown. She wants to keep him home but I don't think she will be able to do this by herself other people in the family want to help out but they've got their own families to look out for. We are having his doctor stop by the house to check on him and see what the best option is to do.
Oddly enough this morning seemed like he was trending up on getting better, I made him breakfast and he ate really well, seemed to be walking better, even speaking a bit better and within a few hours, he went right back downhill very fast.

Sorry about venting here about our situation it's just been really tough on me and had to let it out.

Prayers up.

 

[KFuqua]

Prayers sent. That's a terrible situation to be in.

 

[BlueWorldOrder]

thank you everyone for your prayers and support.

This morning his wife and her sister came to pick him up and take him to the hospital.

Right now we're just in a waiting game, mode to see where the next step is.
its been a rough and emotional week ... think im going to crash until i hear from the family..
again thanks for everything.

 

[Cobb4uk]

Sorry for your whole family. Your on my daily prayer list. My God give you and your family the peace and stamina to make it through this awful situation.

 

[BlueWorldOrder]

Oh honey
You have my love and prayers…and If there is ANYTHING I can do to help just please let me know. Just shoot an email or contact me via pm here.
Love you brother

Thank you BKO, I definitely will let you know if there's anything I need. right now I do have some great support from family but never know when they might get to a point where I'm not dealing with this.

My brother BWO, my heart and prayers going out for your uncle, aunt and you…

I can relate, my Mom (96) is fully into dementia- some days better, some days worse… early evening starts an increase in her dementia… the medical profession refer to it as “sundowners syndrome”. I am fortunate that my sister moved in with Mom, three years ago…but now my sister is experiencing her own medical issues…being almost 5,000 miles away doesn’t make it easier…

Please know that your uncle is in my prayers… if you don’t mind, would you share his first name?

Mahalo BWO

AlohaCat

It's such an emotionally draining helpless feeling where you dont know whether youre coming or going. I was up at 6 am, massaging his feet to keep him calm. Sure I can give you his name, its Kenneth.
Thank you so much <3

It's a hard choice to put a loved one in a nursing home. If you’re having difficulty taking care of him in a safe manor then it may be the best option for all involved. Another poster pointed out correctly that nursing home are terribly understaffed, but they still may be better equipped to take care of him. If you’re committed to keeping him home then ask for a short term mental hospital stay to help adjust medications and see if bringing him back home is feasible. It would give you a chance to let experts evaluate him, check for infections, and imbalances in his lab work. No matter what you do, be honest with yourselves and the Doctor. Trying to take care of someone that’s paranoid and threatening violence is not easy to do for professionals. The average person would have a terrible time.

I have had many similar stories in my family. We swore we would never put our grandmother in a nursing home. She had advancing dementia and was threatening violence toward my mother. At times, drawing back to hit her. That sealed her admission into a nursing home. We couldn’t keep her safe or anyone safe from her. We did what I recommend to anyone that puts a loved one in a home. We showed up every day and helped take care of her. We had multiple family members rotate in and out. One of my parents or siblings was there every day and I went in at night. We made sure by being there that she was taking care of properly. Part of that was getting our hands dirty and taking care of some things ourselves.

I worked in a mental hospital for several years and took care of a loved at home when they were fully psychotic, (no insurance, so they discharged them to home). If I hadn’t worked psychiatrics it would have been a bigger mess than it already was. Just reading your post has brought back that rotting desperate feeling I had years ago. I really feel for you. You and yours will remain in my thoughts.

I think this is the route we will have to be taking. My aunt wants to keep him home where he can't communicate or walk. without support, it's so tough. I'm scared his wife is going to stroke out due to all this stress she's under. it's going to take the rest of the surviving members of the family.

Prayers for you brother. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

Thanks, fellow BWO brother! Will definitely keep you in mind if I need any help!

 

[cat tat2]

Prayers sent for you and your family.

 

[the dopester]

You and family are in my intentions, my man! 🙏🏻

 

[BlueWorldOrder]

Just got an update from my aunt. He did have a stroke and has a slight brain bleed. He's at the VA right now but they are going to move him to the stroke unit at UK hospital in the ICU. There is a danger of his brain swelling where he is at right now if he stays at the VA he could end up dying. If he's at UK they can monitor him and if his brain swells they can do emergency surgery on him.

 

[Bkocats]

Just got an update from my aunt. He did have a stroke and has a slight brain bleed. He's at the VA right now but they are going to move him to the stroke unit at UK hospital in the ICU. There is a danger of his brain swelling where he is at right now if he stays at the VA he could end up dying. If he's at UK they can monitor him and if his brain swells they can do emergency surgery on him.

Continued prayers my friend

 

[kywildcatsfannumber1]

God Bless you and you family @BlueWorldOrder! You all are definitely in my prayers.

 

[chattanoogawildcat]

Going through the same thing BWO with my mom so I can certainly relate. I will say a prayer for you, your uncle and family.

 

[OHIO COLONEL]

Praying for you BWO, your family, and your Uncle Ken. May the peace of God comfort you.

 

[BlueWorldOrder74]

Just got an update from my aunt. He did have a stroke and has a slight brain bleed. He's at the VA right now but they are going to move him to the stroke unit at UK hospital in the ICU. There is a danger of his brain swelling where he is at right now if he stays at the VA he could end up dying. If he's at UK they can monitor him and if his brain swells they can do emergency surgery on him.

@BlueWorldOrder - will you be at UK Hospital tomorrow? Let me know.

 

[BlueWorldOrder]

Going through the same thing BWO with my mom so I can certainly relate. I will say a prayer for you, your uncle and family.

prayers to you as well my friend

 

[*CatinIL*]

Your uncle has my prayers BWO. Strokes are no fun. You never know what affect they will have. God Bless!

 

[HICATFAN]

Just got an update from my aunt. He did have a stroke and has a slight brain bleed. He's at the VA right now but they are going to move him to the stroke unit at UK hospital in the ICU. There is a danger of his brain swelling where he is at right now if he stays at the VA he could end up dying. If he's at UK they can monitor him and if his brain swells they can do emergency surgery on him.

Aloha BWO

Mahalo for the update… I’m glad he is going to UK…Kenneth remains in my prayers as well as your aunt and you BWO…Blessings…

AlohaCat

 

[BigBlueFanGA]

I brought up quite a few months ago the situation with my uncle whos suffering from dementia. This past week it went from bad to worse. A couple of days before Thanksgiving he went through extreme paranoia. Was threatening the lives of not only myself but also his wife and their dog. We found ourselves going to my aunt's sister's house for the night while her stepson stayed with him.

when we returned he was fine, but as it got later and the recent time change, he got really confused and spent the rest of the night explaining how to do a certain job, where he use to work at, and how everything had to be precise. He didn't fall asleep until 4 am that morning.

Thanksgiving day was terrible, he had a rough night due to basically being up two days straight. I believe he has had a stroke and probably having mini strokes to go along with his dementia. He now can not speak right, it all comes out jibberish, It breaks my heart seeing him this way.

I'm trying my best to help out best I can with my limited capabilities being physically disabled. Just really need strength and prayers here to help me get through this turmoil affecting my life at this moment. My aunt needs them as well, this could cause her to have a mental breakdown. She wants to keep him home but I don't think she will be able to do this by herself other people in the family want to help out but they've got their own families to look out for. We are having his doctor stop by the house to check on him and see what the best option is to do.
Oddly enough this morning seemed like he was trending up on getting better, I made him breakfast and he ate really well, seemed to be walking better, even speaking a bit better and within a few hours, he went right back downhill very fast.

Sorry about venting here about our situation it's just been really tough on me and had to let it out.

Sorry brother, that is tough. My wife and I cared for her grandma at our house til she passed. She had severe dementia as well. So.e of what you're describing is par for the course. Its tough. Take breaks as you can and realize you're doing whats right whether your uncle realizes it or not.

I'll pray for God's strength and guidance as you go through this. You're a good man tending to him like you are.

 

[BlueWorldOrder]

@BlueWorldOrder - will you be at UK Hospital tomorrow? Let me know.

probably not man, I have to be here at the house to look after our dog whos never been left, if not for that I would be there. plus there are other issues that prevent me from going. only letting his wife and son in to visit

 

[Fox2monk]

Prayers are with you, my friend. I knew someone who did exactly what you described. They would talk gibberish, no comprehensive words and then start laughing out loud. It's a terrible thing to go through for them but also for the loved ones around them. Hope you see improvement but also, what may be best for them and all others, a peaceful passing at some near point. Hope that's not harsh, just the reality of that horrible illness.

I understand what you mean, my wife and I talk about that often for her Father. She doesn’t want him gone but at the same time it’s killing her seeing him in such a terrible state and as a shell of the man he was even 2 years ago. I pray he will pass soon just for peace for himself and his wife. It’s killing her as well, the stress of taking care of him 24:7. He can’t even sit up anymore because he doesn’t have any motor function, doesn’t understand how to eat. He can’t keep weight on, he weighs like 95 pounds now. He gets out of bed and strips his clothes off and uses the bathroom on the floor almost every night. I can’t fathom many diseases that are worse and they now think he has Parkinson’s on top of it all.

 

[ORCAT]

I understand what you mean, my wife and I talk about that often for her Father. She doesn’t want him gone but at the same time it’s killing her seeing him in such a terrible state and as a shell of the man he was even 2 years ago. I pray he will pass soon just for peace for himself and his wife. It’s killing her as well, the stress of taking care of him 24:7. He can’t even sit up anymore because he doesn’t have any motor function, doesn’t understand how to eat. He can’t keep weight on, he weighs like 95 pounds now. He gets out of bed and strips his clothes off and uses the bathroom on the floor almost every night. I can’t fathom many diseases that are worse and they now think he has Parkinson’s on top of it all.

Yes, it's a horrible illness and none of us know what our future holds. We pray that it never happens in our house but you just never know, very scary illness as it effects others too so much. Sorry to hear about your wife's father, just terrible to hear how he has deteriorated. Has to be very hard on his wife, as you say. Praying for your family. My dad had to deal with my mom who had dementia but nowhere near as bad as you describe about your wife's dad.

 

[MissingWCC]

BWO, you are one of the best people that I know on this message board. We both have been on here for a long time and I have never lost my respect for you, and frankly that's tough to say on here. You have put so much into helping us watch the games because you care. Illness like this, not just that of your loved one, but yours as well, can take away your humanity and make you bitter and angry. I was on dialysis for almost 15 years and it was a tough fight to keep treading water sometimes.
I don't know if a stranger saying that you are admired and respected here makes any difference at all, but I feel that I needed to say it.

 

[Catswin9]

I brought up quite a few months ago the situation with my uncle whos suffering from dementia. This past week it went from bad to worse. A couple of days before Thanksgiving he went through extreme paranoia. Was threatening the lives of not only myself but also his wife and their dog. We found ourselves going to my aunt's sister's house for the night while her stepson stayed with him.

when we returned he was fine, but as it got later and the recent time change, he got really confused and spent the rest of the night explaining how to do a certain job, where he use to work at, and how everything had to be precise. He didn't fall asleep until 4 am that morning.

Thanksgiving day was terrible, he had a rough night due to basically being up two days straight. I believe he has had a stroke and probably having mini strokes to go along with his dementia. He now can not speak right, it all comes out jibberish, It breaks my heart seeing him this way.

I'm trying my best to help out best I can with my limited capabilities being physically disabled. Just really need strength and prayers here to help me get through this turmoil affecting my life at this moment. My aunt needs them as well, this could cause her to have a mental breakdown. She wants to keep him home but I don't think she will be able to do this by herself other people in the family want to help out but they've got their own families to look out for. We are having his doctor stop by the house to check on him and see what the best option is to do.
Oddly enough this morning seemed like he was trending up on getting better, I made him breakfast and he ate really well, seemed to be walking better, even speaking a bit better and within a few hours, he went right back downhill very fast.

Sorry about venting here about our situation it's just been really tough on me and had to let it out.

I am lifting up prayers for you, your uncle, and your family.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10

 

[Myth Buster51]

Just got an update from my aunt. He did have a stroke and has a slight brain bleed. He's at the VA right now but they are going to move him to the stroke unit at UK hospital in the ICU. There is a danger of his brain swelling where he is at right now if he stays at the VA he could end up dying. If he's at UK they can monitor him and if his brain swells they can do emergency surgery on him.

Praying for you, your uncle and your family.

 

[BlueWorldOrder]

BWO, you are one of the best people that I know on this message board. We both have been on here for a long time and I have never lost my respect for you, and frankly that's tough to say on here. You have put so much into helping us watch the games because you care. Illness like this, not just that of your loved one, but yours as well, can take away your humanity and make you bitter and angry. I was on dialysis for almost 15 years and it was a tough fight to keep treading water sometimes.
I don't know if a stranger saying that you are admired and respected here makes any difference at all, but I feel that I needed to say it.

Those words you just spoke touched my soul and I know many others feel the same way. I have always said I love to give back to this board so people can watch games they miss or love to relive. even though I get irritated when the copywrong people shut down the sites I put them up for you guys to enjoy lol

I appreciate this board so much. I do understand going through a condition and having a tough fight. I myself have a condition I've been battling nearly my entire life. It's basically why I treat everyone with kindness I come across even complete strangers. It's just how I was raised by my grandmother, she did the same thing. Treat people with kindness until they give you a reason not to.

I should be bitter about the hand life has handed me with my condition, not fully being able to live a life most people do. I just say to myself this is what God's plan is for me. Maybe he needs me to set an example for others in this world.

So yes a stranger saying those things means so much to me, I am happy I can make people's day with the things I post to help them deal with any struggles they are going through. If what I do makes them happy it makes me happy

 

[flash123]

Praying for you and family.

 

[dcw62]

Prayers my friend to you and your Uncle and family

 

[BlueWorldOrder74]

Those words you just spoke touched my soul and I know many others feel the same way. I have always said I love to give back to this board so people can watch games they miss or love to relive. even though I get irritated when the copywrong people shut down the sites I put them up for you guys to enjoy lol

I appreciate this board so much. I do understand going through a condition and having a tough fight. I myself have a condition I've been battling nearly my entire life. It's basically why I treat everyone with kindness I come across even complete strangers. It's just how I was raised by my grandmother, she did the same thing. Treat people with kindness until they give you a reason not to.

I should be bitter about the hand life has handed me with my condition, not fully being able to live a life most people do. I just say to myself this is what God's plan is for me. Maybe he needs me to set an example for others in this world.

So yes a stranger saying those things means so much to me, I am happy I can make people's day with the things I post to help them deal with any struggles they are going through. If what I do makes them happy it makes me happy

I admire this so much. Thanks for sharing it with us.

 

[Fox2monk]

Yes, it's a horrible illness and none of us know what our future holds. We pray that it never happens in our house but you just never know, very scary illness as it effects others too so much. Sorry to hear about your wife's father, just terrible to hear how he has deteriorated. Has to be very hard on his wife, as you say. Praying for your family. My dad had to deal with my mom who had dementia but nowhere near as bad as you describe about your wife's dad.

Thank you, and yeah dementia is actually a series of other diseases that is under it. He has Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease and it was a really bad case. Like I said in under 2 years he has went from fully functioning to this. At this rate I don’t think he has many more Holidays ahead.

 

[Fox2monk]

Those words you just spoke touched my soul and I know many others feel the same way. I have always said I love to give back to this board so people can watch games they miss or love to relive. even though I get irritated when the copywrong people shut down the sites I put them up for you guys to enjoy lol

I appreciate this board so much. I do understand going through a condition and having a tough fight. I myself have a condition I've been battling nearly my entire life. It's basically why I treat everyone with kindness I come across even complete strangers. It's just how I was raised by my grandmother, she did the same thing. Treat people with kindness until they give you a reason not to.

I should be bitter about the hand life has handed me with my condition, not fully being able to live a life most people do. I just say to myself this is what God's plan is for me. Maybe he needs me to set an example for others in this world.

So yes a stranger saying those things means so much to me, I am happy I can make people's day with the things I post to help them deal with any struggles they are going through. If what I do makes them happy it makes me happy

I will pray for you and thank you for your contributions to the board. It helps us all going thru life and the hard times that ensue.