In Depends Day (A lesson in history)

[PGthirteen13]

74 yrs ago today Micheal Jefferson signed the Destination of Independence - the most important document in the History of Time. In it, he told a King that we were tired of having a King and so we were going to do our own thing, like vote and own slaves. And then a bunch of people signed a receipt or whatever and it became official. To celebrate, Franklin Benjamin invented bottle rockets and M-80s and everyone had a a big tea party. It was sweet. But then the King got pissed and made war on everybody, which sucked. We would've lost but Paul Rear drove into town and told everyone to look out for war so everyone got in their cars and left. Then we got some guns and shot all the King's dudes. They wore red coats so they didn't know when they got shot because the blood looked like the coats. This turned the time of war. We then tag- teamed with the Indians at the battle of geddyburg and killed the King dead. Sweet. Then everyone was given freedom if you are white and a dude. Europe was pissed for a while for killing the King but eventually they let Benny Hill come over and one time I saw tits on his show on n REGULAR TV (no cable) (it was awesome). Then we were friends again just in time to fight Rudolph Hitler - who hated juice for some reason. I don't know what happened in that fight yet.

 

[JumperJack]

Good stuff, kid. Public schools are serving you well.

Reminds me of 1066 and All That.

 

[chroix]

Solid E for effort.

 

[roguemocha]

Read two sentences and was like oh this is going to make me dumber and lose two minutes if my life so instead of reading it I spent that time creating a post that hopefully informs the OP he should put his head in front of the biggest firework he can find.

 

[Dncmaxwell]

Why the hell do I keep clicking? I knew. I just knew. I am the problem and I don’t seem to be able to control myself.

I need help!!!