Mark Titus on Kentucky fans

[MdWIldcat55]

Mark Titus, college basketball writer at Grantland, isn't for everybody. But for those who like his stuff, he has some amusing takes on Kentucky sprinkled throughout this week's column. (see link)

This riff is from his description of how Iowa State and Virginia fans differ from Kentucky fans. The thinned skin will not be amused, but I thought it was funny:

"Kentucky fans are like the 65-year-old guy at the bar by himself, jaded
from a roller coaster life of passionate young love, unplanned
pregnancy, marriage, divorce, a new fling, a shotgun wedding, a
mistress, another divorce, a rekindling with the first wife, a
remarriage, a third divorce, a child after a one-night stand, a
spontaneous wedding, a fourth divorce, a week in Reno with a cocktail
waitress named Tammi...He has been around the block so many times that nothing
really fazes him anymore. Meanwhile, Virginia and Iowa State fans are
like 13-year-olds who just had their first kiss. They're so giddy that
they've devoted every waking second of their lives to telling the world
how in love they are."



Titus on UK fans

 

[jarms24]

Ehh, I've read worse (here's looking at you Clay Travis). Besides, he's not that far off. We're familiar with our success. UVA & ISU have a combined 3 trips to the final four with no titles. They have a reason to be pumped.

 

[LineSkiCat]

Grantland, to me, has some of the best writers and pieces. I've been following Titus' Power Rankings since the start. They are usually very funny, maybe not so much about X's and O's, but he usually is spot on with where the teams are at the moment. I haven't seen anything to suggest he has a bias against Kentucky, nor a fan of UK. That's how it should be.

I loved his recent take on Kentucky:


Bill Simmons: Welcome back to The Grantland Basketball Hour. Hopefully you've enjoyed the show so far. Before we go, we're gonna -


Jalen Rose: We're gonna - WE'RE GONNA GIVE THE PEEEEEEEEEPLLLLLLLLL …


Simmons: [Laughing, even though this is the fifth time in the show Jalen has done this.]


Jalen: GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!!!


Simmons: That's right. We're gonna give the college
basketball people what they want. Let's check in with Mark Titus to see
what's happening in the NCAA. Titus?


Titus: Hey, guys. Kentucky. Back to you.


Simmons: Kentucky? What do you mean, "Kentucky"?


Titus: I mean Kentucky is what's happening in the
NCAA. Kentucky, a little Virginia, and some Duke every now and then. But
mostly just Kentucky.


Simmons: Can you be more specific?


Titus: Sure. Kentucky is giving -

Jalen: KENTUCKY IS GIVING THE PEEEEEEEEEPLLLLLLLLL …


Titus: Kentucky is giving the rest of the country
little hope at a national title this year. When the Cats are engaged,
they look like an NBA team playing against high schoolers.


Simmons: Interesting. How's Holy Cross doing?


Titus: Who?


Simmons: What do you mean, "who?" Your 1947 national champions, that's who!


Jalen: [Still holding it in the background] … LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL …


Titus: Um, you pay me to follow the best teams, Bill, so I can't really answer that. I'm sorry.


Simmons: All right, well, thanks for the update, Titus. As for you guys at home -


Jalen: THEY'RE GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!!!

Simmons: Thanks for watching. See you next time.

 

[LineSkiCat]

For the record, I've spent the majority of my day searching the web for whatever Grantland podcast this was taken off of. No luck.

 

[ThroughBlue]

I love Grantland. Bill Simmons cracks me up most of the time.

 

[LineSkiCat]

Originally posted by MdWIldcat55:
"For the record, I've spent the majority of my day
searching the web for whatever Grantland podcast this was taken off of.
No luck."

I assumed it was a fantasy rendering of Simmons and Rose talking college hoops that captured the relative lack of knowledge or interest either of them have on the topic, and implying Simmons hasn't cared since the last Boston team was good in the 1940s. But with Titus, can't say for sure.

His depiction of Kentucky fans I excepted in the OP is from his analysis of Iowa State, in case it is hard to find.




This post was edited on 1/22 2:59 PM by MdWIldcat55

Possibly true.. But Can't you see Jalen and Bill saying those EXACT words in realtime? Either way, it's probably made up, as Grantland usually does.

 

[Mojocat]

Yeah, Titus was on a roll this week. Here's another grab:

The most frustrating thing about Louisville's performance is that the Cards played right into Duke's hands. You know why Duke went zone? Because the Blue Devils haven't been able to keep anybody in front of them recently and Louisville can't shoot. That Coach K never plays zone yet started the game in a 2-3 is an admission. It's Coach K saying, "We are terrible at defense. Please don't make us have to guard you. Please just chuck 3-pointers, let us rebound them, and let us go to the other end." And instead of licking their chops at a struggling Duke defense playing an unfamiliar zone, Louisville simply responded with, "Whatever you say."


Sucking at shooting is bad. Sucking at shooting and then convincing yourself that you're really not that bad at shooting is how you get massacred on your home court. What did Arizona do against Utah when the Cats weren't hitting 3s? They stopped shooting them and figured out an effective way to attack the defense. What did the Cardinals do when they weren't hitting 3s? They kept shooting 3s! Louisville was 2-for-13 from behind the arc in the first half, yet the only non-jump-shot field goal it made in the first 18 minutes was Wayne Blackshear's dunk. How does this happen? How does Louisville refuse to attack the paint when it has several penetrators and one of the best big men in college basketball? Where were the cutters? Why didn't the ball move around, get dumped inside, get kicked out, go back inside, etc.? Where was any semblance of offensive creativity? I would say Louisville shot itself in the foot by playing into Duke's hands, but even if the Cards tried to shoot themselves, they'd probably miss.

And yet, some will argue Pitino is an X and O master.....

 

[gossie21]

His take on UofL getting dismantled by Duke is particularly well done. I give it two enthusiastic thumbs up.

 

[StillBlue83]

"I would say Louisville shot itself in the foot by playing into Duke's hands, but even if the Cards tried to shoot themselves, they'd probably miss."

 

[TankedCat]

Kentucky fans like the Wildcats because it's their duty. They were born
into it. Their fanhood is a lifelong job and rooting for their team is
all they know.


Titus understands..........

 

[jgraf_1]

That last line about Louisville is one the funniest things I have ever read!!! Fantastic!
Posted from Rivals Mobile