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Life Hacks

For a really peaceful nap try dozing off in your car. So the neighbors don't think you're weird, I'd recommend doing it in the garage with the door closed. Also, turn on the engine, and viola!, you've got yourself some white noise for the ultimate cozy environment.

jeezus...lol
 
It was so much fun. My GF at the time came home one day and was asking me wtf I'm doing.

Well, baby, I found a really hot but not so hot it's unbelievable picture of a naked chick in a bathtub and I'm on AOL chat getting nudies from other women posing at bathtub chick.

hahahaha AOL chat.

"A/S"
 
Share some things that have made your life a little easier that YOU have come up with, not stolen from some Buzzfeed article.

My contribution to society:

When toasting a Toaster Strudel, place the icing packet beneath the toaster while heating. When said strudel is finished, your icing with be soft, supple and ready to glaze.

I do the same thing with those Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls. While they are cooking in the oven, I leave the container of icing on the stove and the heat from the oven softens the icing and makes for easier spreading.

sticking with the toaster theme...

spread a little butter on some bread, put a cheese slice on top of it, put it in the toaster, tilt the toaster over on its side and let it cook. Quick and easy grilled cheese in the time it takes to toast the bread.

Just be ready to catch the bastard on a plate when it's done or it'll get ejected 10 feet out onto your kitchen floor.

I do this method a little different. I toast the bread and after it comes out of the toaster, I put cheese on the bread and microwave it for about 20 seconds and you get perfectly melted cheese. I don't add butter with this method, but you could after it comes out of the toaster.
 
Gotta a dirty bathroom with pesky stains? Try mixing rubbing alcohol with bleach. This stuff really cuts through soap scum and will wipe almost any surface clean. The rubbing alcohol neutralizes the bleach making it not so pungent, so you can avoid that pesky exhaust fan (thing is so noisy lol) and get to scrubbing.
 
My hack is that if you shave your balls on a hot day and then put them on a soft pillow with a fan blowing on them you will know nirvana. Even better is to crack the shades so a ray of light shines on your balls as they cool. Pure heaven.

Kinda faggy, no?
 
Incognito mode has been around for like 5 years now.

Some of us are not technologically advanced enough to know WTF that is.

On a related note: Did you know that Youtube saves your watch history? How does Norm know this? My wife was looking for a video she had watched a few days prior when she saw that I apparently watched "Giada's jiggly boobs". I had to think fast and say "one of the guys sent the link in our group text. I clicked it and closed it as soon as I saw what it was." [laughing]. The first part of that statement may have been true, actually. But the second....:pimp:

We need a spinoff called "wife hacks"
 
Kinda faggy, no?
Well, no. Maintaining your balls is an important aspect of manliness. I dare say nearly all that encompasses manliness. If you slack off on your ball maintenance then next thing you know only way you can get a stiffie is to look at pictures of naked handicapped midgets mating with double horned black rhinos.

Now if you whip them out in the men's locker room and try my technique on the bench then yeah you might have a point, but in the privacy of your own home if you can't spoil your balls then where can you? I mean, it's the human equivalent to a dog licking their own, verily.
 
We need a spinoff called "wife hacks"

Not really a wife "hack," but rather one of my favorite passive-aggressive get-evens with her: Wifey is constantly whining that I screw the lids of EVERYTHING (peanut butter, orange juice, Coke 2 liters, etc...) back on too tightly.

So whenever I see her putting the lid back on something, I sneak back later and crank down as hard as I can on that mothertoucher to the point it takes pair of ViceGrips to unscrew it. "No honey, golly gee you were the last one to get a glass of orange juice, remember???"
 
Some of us are not technologically advanced enough to know WTF that is.

On a related note: Did you know that Youtube saves your watch history? How does Norm know this? My wife was looking for a video she had watched a few days prior when she saw that I apparently watched "Giada's jiggly boobs". I had to think fast and say "one of the guys sent the link in our group text. I clicked it and closed it as soon as I saw what it was." [laughing]. The first part of that statement may have been true, actually. But the second....:pimp:

We need a spinoff called "wife hacks"
Google saves everything. Their greatest asset is your data.
 
Pretty sure ass-touching during sex is gay. You can't explain that one away. It's like word association. You are teaching yourself to be gay if you do that. Balls on pillows is nothing compared to this serious breach of double-team etiquette. Everybody knows you can't touch the other dude. Hell, that's one of the few ground rules you go over before things even get started. Way back in the internet chat faze you clear that up.
 
Pretty sure ass-touching during sex is gay. You can't explain that one away. It's like word association. You are teaching yourself to be gay if you do that. Balls on pillows is nothing compared to this serious breach of double-team etiquette. Everybody knows you can't touch the other dude. Hell, that's one of the few ground rules you go over before things even get started. Way back in the internet chat faze you clear that up.

Sure you can. You must not have watched enough gang bang porn. You might need to stick with the amateur stuff Z.
 
Sure you can. You must not have watched enough gang bang porn. You might need to stick with the amateur stuff Z.

[laughing] exactly.

A worse sin in a Devil's three-way is eye contact -- indicates longing/desire (this also applies to higher order orgies). Slip of the hand(s) here and there is no big deal. After all, there's a lot of appendages to choreograph.



haha, great minds Through
 
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