Being a stand-up comedian seems to require a combination of courage, self-loathing, and an inability to be embarrassed. Even if I was funny, I couldn't imagine having the stones to get up on stage and do a set.
It's just constantly walking a tightrope without a net underneath. That's the best way I know how to describe it.
A year ago tonight was my first (and kinda only) true "bomb" set. It was for a corporate gathering, at the end of their Christmas dinner. They were there to eat, get their awards, and get gifts from management. They weren't there to hear jokes, and they certainly weren't there to hear me.
It was an absolutely miserable experience. But I did three shows the following month anyway.
I'm approaching it the way I want to, so my stress level is pretty minimal. I'm not trying to "make it" as a career comic, so I can be choosy and do the shows I want to do, when I want to do them, and how I want to do them. I'm stressed for the friends I've made who are trying to do it full-time, hitting every single open mic, and living/dying with each set. It's really hard to watch, and I've tried to be supportive in any way I can.
What I love most about it is the craft....taking a seed of an idea and constantly working it to squeeze as much out of it as possible. Obviously, the adrenaline from a joke that kills is something beyond description. Making a room full of strangers laugh hard at something is as close as I'll get to knowing what it must feel like to dunk a basketball, etc. Those are the two things that keep me coming back. That, and all the hard drugs that are readily available to me.
