- The "Stay Home Sick From School" timeline
6:45am: Not giving a shit about going to school today.
6:47am: Get into character
7:00am-7:30am: spend the next half-hour feigning sickness and FINALLY getting the ok.
7:45: arrive at grandparent's house and given strict instructions from mom and grandma: "if you're sick, you will be on the couch all day long." *Pappy (grandpa) gives me a wink* I smile.
8:15: under the covers watching TV and Pappy delivers a full plate of biscuits and gravy, bacon, two eggs and orange juice.
8:45: Go take dishes in and wash them; Pappy has cracked open a Pabst Blue Ribbon, while he says, "The Mattman!"
9-11: it's game show galore under the covers and on the couch, of course. When I say galore, it means just the undercard of game shows until THE game show comes on. We have Scrabble, Classic Concentration, Sale of the Century, Card Sharks, Tic-Tac-Dough, $25,000 Pyramid, etc. The works, really.
11-noon: The GAME. The MAN. The Price is Right. Bob Barker. The best hour of the day when "sick."
*NOTE: Your aunt is the truant officer for Lewis County schools and she knows you're not at school. So this is around the time you need to watch for her coming and making sure you're really sick. "This is four days in two months you've not been in class, MattsCats."
Noon: Pappy delivers some white beans and cornbread. I'm thinking he's on his 6th or 7th beverage by now.
1-2: Grandma comes into the living room and puts it on Days of Our Lives. I'm not mad.
2:15: Grandma goes for a nap. Pappy cracks open another cold one. Matt is feeling 100% and plays Nerf hoops for the next 3 hours.
Or something like that, I got lazy on that story at the end.
- Give me Eazy E -"Real Muthaphuckkin G's" as my go-to 90s rap song. Love Dre, Snoop, and Death Row, but that was a Mount Rushmore diss song. It could be George Washington.
- Underrated gambling moment: stumbling into The Golden Nugget at 3am and throwing $10 down on some random roulette table on "8" and the two other offensive lineman-looking guys follow suit with $20/piece and it hits. Those guys picked me up and hugged me for what seemed like an hour.
- If I was forced to watch a cartoon for the rest of my life, I think I'm going Tom and Jerry.
- Hope Reese's Cups wins today. Those and Kit Kats are also 1000% better after being in a freezer overnight.
- Baseball Stars will forever be the GOAT video game to me. The innovator of player creation, I believe. Gonna crack a couple open for the SNK Crushers, Lovely Ladies, Ghastly Monsters, Brave Warriors, Japan Robins, World Powers, Ninja Blacksox, and American Dreams.
- Early 5-team parlay using the old FOOTBALL gambling cards:
Duke +10
Michigan -17
TCU -3
WVU +8
NCST +4
$10 to win $200