Dating App Ethical Question.

[Son_Of_Saul]

Open question:

Should parents with children who have life-altering disabilities, or people who have those disabilities themselves, let their potential dates know about this reality before setting up a date? What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Mdnerd]

Open question:

Should parents with children who have life-altering disabilities, or people who have those disabilities themselves, let their potential dates know about this reality before setting up a date? What are your thoughts on this?

Yes, don’t put yourself or the other person in a position to make things unnecessarily awkward.

My best story on this was meeting a girl when we were in our twenties. Dating apps were just starting and I gave it a shot. Anyway, this girl was beautiful and we hit it off after talking for a bit. Fast forward to our date and she shows up with her 1 year old baby I knew nothing about. The babysitter cancelled last minute.

So while she was a fun date, I was not in any way ready for that kind of responsibility at that point in my life. After the date I broke it off and she was ANGRY calling me every name in the book.

The interesting part was how bad would it have been if we were 6 or 7 dates in before this took place? I would have probably been murdered. She should have been upfront and avoided the whole thing.

 

[Son_Of_Saul]

Yes, don’t put yourself or the other person in a position to make things unnecessarily awkward.

My best story on this was meeting a girl when we were in our twenties. Dating apps were just starting and I gave it a shot. Anyway, this girl was beautiful and we hit it off after talking for a bit. Fast forward to our date and she shows up with her 1 year old baby I knew nothing about. The babysitter cancelled last minute.

So while she was a fun date, I was not in any way ready for that kind of responsibility at that point in my life. After the date I broke it off and she was ANGRY calling me every name in the book.

The interesting part was how bad would it have been if we were 6 or 7 dates in before this took place? I would have probably been murdered. She should have been upfront and avoided the whole thing.

Great insight. Thanks for sharing this story, sir.

 

[812scottj]

Yep…definitely disclose it up front. Would you want a relationship with someone you can’t share every facet of your family life with? Plus, reverse the roles…how would you feel if the woman sprung something like that on you?

 

[chroix]

I would mention it in my profile but could see also handling it in person. Anybody that's worth a damn ought to be able to handle and process that information while meeting someone for the first time. Good luck with it.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

Several years ago as I was going through a divorce I used a few dating web sites to try to find someone. It’s never cool to find out on the first face-to-face meeting that the other person wasn’t entirely honest, or hadn’t disclosed some major things about themselves. Had one that claimed to be single, but was actually separated. Not the same, sorry. And a couple dates that had lied about their weight. Also not cool. Best to give the other person full knowledge of the person they’ll meet, before the meeting takes place. Especially if you’re looking for a relationship. Will save lots of heartache for you and your potential dates.

 

[WayneDougan]

So you're telling me I'm supposed to let the woman know up front I'm married and just looking for meaningless sex? I don't think that's going to land me many matches on Tinder.

 

[roguemocha]

So you're telling me I'm supposed to let the woman know up front I'm married and just looking for meaningless sex? I don't think that's going to land me many matches on Tinder.

That’s kind of what it’s for wayne. I mean, in tourists towns why do you think those girls are on hookup apps on vacation with bf or husband at home?

I’ve hooked up with way too many that I found out had someone back home. It’s basically a get out of jail free card for these hookers.

Not many are REALLY looking to get married off tinder…

 

[Rebelfreedomeagle]

So you're telling me I'm supposed to let the woman know up front I'm married and just looking for meaningless sex?

A friend started using a couple of apps after her divorce. She’s 40’s, her own money, and pretty attractive. She started doing background checking on men because so many were married. I know she busted one guy with PVA information.

 

[WeWant9]

On the kids, I’d say it depends on what someone is looking for with it. If it’s just causal fun/hook ups I don’t think it needs to be said. Now if they are looking for an actual relationship where you’ll eventually be around the kid, then yeah it should come up in the prior convos.

If it’s the person, it should 100% be discussed beforehand or it can be a very awkward first meeting.

Only thing I really learned from the apps was never trust someone who doesn’t post a full body picture.

 

[Ron Mehico]

I don’t think you need to reveal that you have kids before the first date. If, however, you are going to show up in a wheelchair due to not having legs I think you should bring that up

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

Only thing I really learned from the apps was never trust someone who doesn’t post a full body picture.

One of the women I met had posted only a face pic. And under body-type description she marked “athletic”. The only athletic endeavor she could have qualified for was as an offensive tackle. Maybe shot putter.

 

[Wesley91581]

One of the women I met had posted only a face pic. And under body-type description she marked “athletic”. The only athletic endeavor she could have qualified for was as an offensive tackle. Maybe shot putter.

Yup they skate through those thinking no one will catch it - if you aren’t honest on a dating app I wouldn’t trust you in real life either

 

[WeWant9]

One of the women I met had posted only a face pic. And under body-type description she marked “athletic”. The only athletic endeavor she could have qualified for was as an offensive tackle. Maybe shot putter.

Had a very similar experience. All the pics were close up of the face, which was decently pretty. But in person I realized why that’s all she posted online.

 

[Ron Mehico]

One of the women I met had posted only a face pic. And under body-type description she marked “athletic”. The only athletic endeavor she could have qualified for was as an offensive tackle. Maybe shot putter.

Had a very similar experience. All the pics were close up of the face, which was decently pretty. But in person I realized why that’s all she posted online.

I think you guys should take solace in the fact that after seeing your pictures you were so down to earth and approachable that fat girls felt you guys were very much in their league

 

[80 Proof]

 

[Wesley91581]

I think you guys should take solace in the fact that after seeing your pictures you were so down to earth and approachable that fat girls felt you guys were very much in their league

My new favorite line on the apps are “feed me tacos” sorry hard pass on that one

 

[roguemocha]

One of the women I met had posted only a face pic. And under body-type description she marked “athletic”. The only athletic endeavor she could have qualified for was as an offensive tackle. Maybe shot putter.

To be fair, you’re in Ohio so you’re not exactly getting the cream of the crop.

 

[Glenn's take]

You ain't cheating you ain't trying.

 

[JumperJack]

You ain't cheating you ain't trying.

Adulterous take, Glenn.

 

[thabigbluenation]

You ain't cheating you ain't trying.

Woa. Multiple metaphor take there Glenn[].

 

[ukalum01]

Before a first date? No.

People share way too much info with casual acquaintances.

 

[bigblueinsanity]

If you're looking for a meaningful connection, yes that general information should be made known. If it's just a casual sex scenario, I don't think anyone cares.

I do agree with avoiding specifics early especially unique specifics. There are scary evil people out there.