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How well-prepared are you for your inevitable demise?

Are you well-prepared for your inevitable demise?

  • Yes, very.

    Votes: 7 17.9%

  • Meh, moderatley.

    Votes: 13 33.3%

  • "When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash."

    Votes: 19 48.7%
  • Total voters
    39
J_Dee

J_Dee

Junior
Mar 21, 2008
3,368
3,975
113
A very close friend and I had this discussion a few weeks back and it's been weighing my mind since.

She's got her plans pretty damn well-laid-out, right down to even little details, like funeral music. I, on the other hand, do not. At least not nearly as well as I should have as a guy in his mid-40s (even though I'm in good health and live pretty mindfully). And yeah, that's pretty irresponsible, so I'm going to start working on correcting everything that I need to correct regarding the matter this week. I dread it, but I really don't want to make my passing any harder on her and my other loved ones than it's already going to be if I suddenly got murdered by a drunk driver, got fried by lightning, choke on a Wendy's Baconator, go berserk and put my head through a TV during a heated UK game, make my head explode because I misspelled "moderately" on the above poll, or whatever.

So. How 'bout you? :(

 
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I'm 65 years old. I've always had a dislike of funerals, and have told anyone who would listen that I don't want one. It really creeps me out to think that people, dressed in black and teary, would stand around my dead corpse and talk about how natural I look as I lay in a way-too-expensive box. I hate it.

So, about a year ago I contacted UC medical college about donating my body. All the paperwork has been signed and filed, and those closest to me know all about it. Upon my demise, and after a coroner signs off, all I need is a medical transport (ambulance or coroner's vehicle) and an advance phone call, and my body will be sent off and used as practice for surgical students. They keep my body for up to a year, then cremate the remains and stash them with others at a local cemetery. The only cost to family is for the transport which should be about $500.

My closest people know that I want them to have a wake/party. Eat, drink and be happy...not sad. Listen to samples of my favorite music. Tell funny stories about me. Laughter, not tears. That's what I want.
 
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I have a $10,000 life insurance policy through work. I would be very upset if I found out anyone went out of pocket to pay for services. (Note thankfully my parents are still around so I haven’t had the fun of dealing with all that. But my parents and grandparents pre paid for their services and all the arrangements so we wouldn’t have to deal with it)
 
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No kids here. I have life insurance, so that can be taken to throw me in an oven or put in a cardboard box for all I care, and cover whatever expenses are needed after that
 
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Mid 50s. My wife and I have small life insurance policies to cover funeral/burial/monument. They aren’t for anything else and they don’t cost much. From experience with two sets of parents, it’s just easy to assign the policies to the funeral home at death.

We have plots in my wife’s hometown. I don’t know if will use them there, but they are there.

Our church sent out a survey 10 years ago about what details(like hymns) you wanted in your service and they would keep it on file.

When my mother and mil lost my dad and fil, they both did something similar with their funeral homes regarding their own eventual funeral, like pick out their future casket.


We could follow all of the above to the letter or just use it as a starting point.

No monument yet.
 
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Not to make a dark topic darker, but the real issue (which i know way too much about) is how to take care of your old ass when you lose your mind, etc. There is a real need for protecting your assets so the government doesn't spend every dime you made while moralizing about not putting your ass down gently. Since we don't have euthanasia, and quality of life is not even part of the conversation, go ahead and pre-pay your funeral/last service/grave/whatever and then put your assets in a trust so those that you want to benefit can, those you don't want to benefit cannot, and all those taxes you paid come back to service your elderly self in some modest fashion. Its a hell of a thing to spend every dime you have to have your loved ones run around and take care of you, anyway. Naturally, this isn't about the loved one (who by definition is loved) but about a system and culture that somehow thinks taking everything someone has is moral but helping them escape the last, dark, shitty part of life is immoral. Have a great week!
 
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I've told my family I don't want a funeral. I hate the idea of lying there in a box while everyone stares at you and then being locked away in that box until you completely decompose over decades. Just burn me and dump my ashes somewhere. Make it as cheap as possible.
mGgqew.gif
 
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LordEggForgotHisPassword said:
put your assets in a trust
Click to expand...

My mil and fil did that shortly after they went through the wringer with their own parents 20 years ago. It wasn't needed for them, though. Fil spent 2 days in a hospice facility and mil just passed Mother's Day after just two weeks in a nursing home.

I don't know the downsides of a trust, but my mil's so far has been seamless. Nothing is passing through a will. Everybody is happy.


My own parents did not plan. My father had no nursing home insurance or even a will. My mother had a will, but didn't list all of her property. Nobody is happy.

My father spent 14 mo in a nursing home and mom spent 8 years in assisted living. They totaled together at $500000.
 
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LordEggForgotHisPassword said:
Not to make a dark topic darker, but the real issue (which i know way too much about) is how to take care of your old ass when you lose your mind, etc. There is a real need for protecting your assets so the government doesn't spend every dime you made while moralizing about not putting your ass down gently. Since we don't have euthanasia, and quality of life is not even part of the conversation, go ahead and pre-pay your funeral/last service/grave/whatever and then put your assets in a trust so those that you want to benefit can, those you don't want to benefit cannot, and all those taxes you paid come back to service your elderly self in some modest fashion. Its a hell of a thing to spend every dime you have to have your loved ones run around and take care of you, anyway. Naturally, this isn't about the loved one (who by definition is loved) but about a system and culture that somehow thinks taking everything someone has is moral but helping them escape the last, dark, shitty part of life is immoral. Have a great week!
Click to expand...
I get this post and agree with the vast majority of it; but if you’ve never been in a nursing home that Medicaid will pay for, then trust that it will not serve you modestly. They are horrible and the absolute bottom of the barrel for care.

Invest in a long term care policy. Whether it be an investment vehicle type policy or simply one you pay a monthly premium that will cover a portion of the cost of an assisted living or nursing home. Some will even cover to have a home health aid (non-medical) stay with you in your home.

Obviously, don’t wait too long to look into one. The earlier you get one in life the cheaper it’ll be. I know financial gurus like PTI would recommend aggressive saving/investing rather than the monthly premium policies.

Either way, those are the only ways to help guarantee decent care that won’t bankrupt you.
 
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KyCatFan said:
I've told my family I don't want a funeral. I hate the idea of lying there in a box while everyone stares at you and then being locked away in that box until you completely decompose over decades. Just burn me and dump my ashes somewhere. Make it as cheap as possible.
mGgqew.gif
Click to expand...
The most basic cremation used to be around $300 … burned in cardboard box and cremains delivered to family in a cardboard urn.
 
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Wife and I plan to be cremated. I have no desire to be embalmed or anyone to purchase a costly casket.Definitely don’t want my perished corpse on display.

Just burn my ass, spread me somewhere cool and I want all of my friends and family to have a big ass party in my honor. Come as you are. Leave the black dress clothes at home. Tell funny stories about me and move TF on with life.
 
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the nail at the foul line said:
If some of you are so inclined, UT has a body farm. You can donate your body to science and they will see what happens as the buzzards devour you.

https://fac.utk.edu/body-donation/

Righteous bucks.

The Department of Anthropology receives over one hundred body donations a year. All donations are placed at the Anthropology Research Facility, with the remains eventually accessioned into the UTK Donated Skeletal Collection
Click to expand...

I wouldn’t even donate my toe nail clippings to UT, f*ck that university.
 
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WildcatfaninOhio said:
I'm 65 years old. I've always had a dislike of funerals, and have told anyone who would listen that I don't want one. It really creeps me out to think that people, dressed in black and teary, would stand around my dead corpse and talk about how natural I look as I lay in a way-too-expensive box. I hate it.

So, about a year ago I contacted UC medical college about donating my body. All the paperwork has been signed and filed, and those closest to me know all about it. Upon my demise, and after a coroner signs off, all I need is a medical transport (ambulance or coroner's vehicle) and an advance phone call, and my body will be sent off and used as practice for surgical students. They keep my body for up to a year, then cremate the remains and stash them with others at a local cemetery. The only cost to family is for the transport which should be about $500.

My closest people know that I want them to have a wake/party. Eat, drink and be happy...not sad. Listen to samples of my favorite music. Tell funny stories about me. Laughter, not tears. That's what I want.
Click to expand...
That's an interesting option. I might check to see if my old home state of Virginia has any schools that do that, or if the schools here in Florida do. As @jcrow10 said, *touch* UT's body farm and the horse they rode in on.

As for a funeral, there will be none for me or my wife. We stuck mom in the oven 9 years ago. It was what she wanted. We scattered her ashes over my dad's grave and had a short ceremony from my niece's preacher. Then we all went out for a nice lunch. My wife and I aren't religious, so what we've agreed to do is be cremated and if the surviving spouse feels like it, order wings and pizza and have a cooler full of beer. Play our favorite playlist with some close friends. Or do nothing at all. I told her she can scatter my ashes in the ocean, dump them in the trash or flush them down the toilet. I'd rather she took the money saved from no funeral and do something fun like taking a trip with her friends, or our kids & grandkids.
 
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Everything in a trust. I've made plans to take care of myself "myself", and if I CAN'T do it myself, I have trusted friends that will do it for me.

There will be no "treatments", hospital stays, or lingering on. I'm good to go in a moment's notice, and all of my loved ones know this, and they've been told not to interfere. It's been a good run...

"Hunting accident"

"Car wreck" (single vehicle)

"Bucket list nighttime hike in the gorge"

etc. LOL
 
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Starting an acting career after you die is a pretty neat thing to do:

Cracked.com: A Short Strange History Of The Real Skulls Used In 'Hamlet'

761637_800x450.jpg



The first identified skull that we seem to know about is also the most celebrated, belonging to a stagehand named John Reed, who worked at (and left his skull to) a Philadelphia theater in the 1800s. It was used (and signed) by just about every important Hamlet of the century before coming to rest at a library in the University of Pennsylvania.
Click to expand...

Personally though, if I was going to donate my skull to art, I'd rather mine be used in a Terminator, Mad Max, and/or zombie movie instead of a production of Hamlet.

terminator2-crush-skull.gif


💀
 
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That's not for me to

J_Dee said:
A very close friend and I had this discussion a few weeks back and it's been weighing my mind since.

She's got her plans pretty damn well-laid-out, right down to even little details, like funeral music. I, on the other hand, do not. At least not nearly as well as I should have as a guy in his mid-40s (even though I'm in good health and live pretty mindfully). And yeah, that's pretty irresponsible, so I'm going to start working on correcting everything that I need to correct regarding the matter this week. I dread it, but I really don't want to make my passing any harder on her and my other loved ones than it's already going to be if I suddenly got murdered by a drunk driver, got fried by lightning, choke on a Wendy's Baconator, go berserk and put my head through a TV during a heated UK game, make my head explode because I misspelled "moderately" on the above poll, or whatever.

So. How 'bout you? :(

View embedded media
Click to expand...


...plan. Once I am deceased, that's other people's role. I am prepared for my death. I don't know if others are prepared for it.

I will sit down and go over some things to make sure no one has to do much but either celebrate or grieve. Thanks for the reminder.
 
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I told my wife recently that I wanted to be cremated, saves her some money. The spirit is gone so... She asked me what I wanted said about me at the viewing/funeral/wake and I told her to keep it simple. Tell them he was a God revering man, a soldier for life, a patriot, a family man, and last but certainly not least, a Kentucky Wildcat fanatic. Nothing more need be said. viewings/funerals and wakes are for the living, not the dead. Keep it simple and move on.
 
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HymanKaplan said:
Everything in a trust. I've made plans to take care of myself "myself", and if I CAN'T do it myself, I have trusted friends that will do it for me.

There will be no "treatments", hospital stays, or lingering on. I'm good to go in a moment's notice, and all of my loved ones know this, and they've been told not to interfere. It's been a good run...

"Hunting accident"

"Car wreck" (single vehicle)

"Bucket list nighttime hike in the gorge"

etc. LOL
Click to expand...
Bucket list for me as how I would like to go:

Just after watching UK win a National Championship (my mother went that way early morning April 3rd 2012).

Sliding into home plate, hearing the word safe as I score the winning run (still play at 66 years old).

In the throes of passion hearing my wife say, "honey you're the best." (Well, one little lie at the end of my life won't hurt.)
 
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warrior-cat said:
I told my wife recently that I wanted to be cremated, saves her some money. The spirit is gone so... She asked me what I wanted said about me at the viewing/funeral/wake and I told her to keep it simple. Tell them he was a God revering man, a soldier for life, a patriot, a family man, and last but certainly not least, a Kentucky Wildcat fanatic. Nothing more need be said. viewings/funerals and wakes are for the living, not the dead. Keep it simple and move on.
Click to expand...
A few of our recent family deaths were also cremated. All we did for them was reserve a conference room at a hotel for a couple hours and had family members bring food to share. It was basically a family reunion with flowers and a continuous video being played with pictures of the departed with the family. I don't even need all that. Just cremate me and dump my ashes. No ceremony of any kind is needed.

If possible, having some ashes jettisoned into space would be really awesome. Always wanted to be an astronaut as a kid.
 
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To quote the great Al Czervik, “I tell ya, country clubs and cemeteries, the biggest wasters of prime real estate,” “Dead people, they don't want to be buried nowadays. Ecology, right?”
 
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the nail at the foul line said:
If some of you are so inclined, UT has a body farm. You can donate your body to science and they will see what happens as the buzzards devour you.

https://fac.utk.edu/body-donation/

Righteous bucks.

The Department of Anthropology receives over one hundred body donations a year. All donations are placed at the Anthropology Research Facility, with the remains eventually accessioned into the UTK Donated Skeletal Collection
Click to expand...
nij.ojp.gov

Potential carcass enrichment of the University of Tennessee Anthropology Research Facility: A baseline survey of edaphic features

Since the authors are interested in the long-term effects of continuous human decomposition on the soil environment, soil samples collected from within and outside the University of Tennessee Anthropology Research Facility (ARF) were evaluated for moisture content, pH, organic content, total...
nij.ojp.gov nij.ojp.gov
 
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The wife and I have decided to donate what useful organs we will have when we leave this place. But we plan on having a tombstone just to say that we did exist on this planet for a while. Won't need a full plot of ground...just a stone.
 
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*CatinIL* said:
The wife and I have decided to donate what useful organs we will have when we leave this place. But we plan on having a tombstone just to say that we did exist on this planet for a while. Won't need a full plot of ground...just a stone.
Click to expand...
My parents are being cremated and having the remains at a columbarium at their church.

​

 
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I heard a stat off the bbc that said 90% of britons are cremated. In 1900 it was less than 1%. That’s a pretty dramatic demo shift. Interesting. Also they are apparently building mounds an interring their ashes in them. Like Druid type stuff. Even more interesting (to me).
 
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Meeting with a trust attorney in the next couple weeks so that will be what takes care of a lot of it. So hopefully we don’t die in the next month 😂
 
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