Hi Everyone

[bbncal02]

I know it’s been a long time. And I know some of you all might not remember me.

Sorry I was absent most of last year. Between Covid and the general just crap of our season, I just didn’t have much to say.

That being said I need BBNs positive thoughts and prayers.

As some of you will recall, I lost my Mom in January of 2019. The last member of my family and the biggest BBN supporter you’d ever meet. She would’ve been highly disappointed with this past season.

Well, what I didn’t mention is I that I had my best friend in our dog, Harper. Another huge “Kitty Cat” supporter. Harper was my sweet Cocker Spaniel, a gift from Mom to keep us both company and sane while I took care of Mom.

Well, my sweet girl is gone. I had to let her go on June 22nd.

Harper was my companion for 10 years.

. Harper and I struggled without Mom. But we made due. And then Covid hit. We struggled to get into the vet. But again, we made due washing her ears and grooming the best we could. She started limping and I got her in finally. Vet said it was her knee and she needed to lose some weight. No big deal.

Fast forward to February 2021. I got a new job with a lot higher pay. But it was an hour commute each way. But again, we made due. Trying to better our lives. She had lost some weight, but I didn’t know how much. And wasn’t overly worried about it due to the vets recommendation.

We fought ear infections on and off until June when one took hold in both ears. On the 21st, she got sick a few times and again, I didn’t think much of it thinking it was maybe her ears bothering her so much. But then she wasn’t acting herself. And turned her nose up at chicken. So I made the call to take her in.

She was so lethargic I had to carry her. I was fearing the worst.

They weighted her and she had lost 18 pounds. I lost it.

Vet checked her out and said, “let’s do some blood work- it will cost…”

“I don’t care. Just run it.”

He came back and just said, “She’s anemic and has a heart mumur”.

I was trying to hold it together

“But worst of all, she has advanced kidney failure.”

I lost it completely. I already knew what I was going to have to do. But I asked anyway.

I came home with an empty collar and a broken heart. The house I shared with my family empty for the first time ever. I don’t have the biggest support system. And with Harper gone, no immediate family.

I got her ashes back . And while that’s helped some, I’m still a wreck. It’s made me miss my Mom all the more. And I’ve cried more now than I did when she passed.

I’m just a wreck still. My appetite comes and goes. I’ve had panic attacks on the way to work. I’ve watched more TV than I have in my entire life. The silence has been awful. And all the drive I had to change careers and make a little bit better life has been shattered. My sleep is off. And all I’ve got any energy to do is watch TV and push through work.

I miss her so much. She was my light and sanity.
and of course as big of a UK fan as both me and Mom were.

Ive been struggling in an empty house. Crying watching the Olympics (because Mom wanted to see them- and always talked about them). Cried at Terrance’s tribute tonight.

I just miss my family.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you all for letting me share. I just need prayers as my mental health has taken a huge hit. I’m trying to get out of the house but he heat has been awful.

 

[crawfords corner]

You got it. Thoughts are with you.

 

[TheAnonymous13]

Hey man- I’m aorry to read what you are going thru. I know it may not seem like it, but better days ARE ahead.
in the meantime, please get yourself some help.

 

[bbncal02]

You got it. Thoughts are with you.

Thank you. I’ve been struggling. Harper was my last true family. Talked to her like she was part human,

Every time we had a big win, treats would flow and she would give high fives.

 

[bbncal02]

Hey man- I’m aorry to read what you are going thru. I know it may not seem like it, but better days ARE ahead.
in the meantime, please get yourself some help.

I’m trying to. Haven’t got my health insurance from my new job yet (should be next week).

I’m not suicidal by any means. Just really down. Just talking helps. I’ve had a couple of friends just kinda flake out on me, making all this worse.

I went from a big high (getting my self a great job, which would’ve made Mom hugely proud) to losing my Harper (and thus my Mom all over again). And I think that’s the source- I didn’t feel alone from my last parents death. She was still here through Harper. But now my last physical connection to her is gone.
The house is just so quiet.

Thanks for talking. It helps so much

 

[drcats2013]

I’m so, so sorry to hear of your struggles, my big blue brother. Never forget you have huge family here within the big blue nation.

My email is drowe33@live.com if you ever want someone to talk to privately.

 

[BBUK]

I’m trying to. Haven’t got my health insurance from my new job yet (should be next week).

I’m not suicidal by any means. Just really down. Just talking helps. I’ve had a couple of friends just kinda flake out on me, making all this worse.

I went from a big high (getting my self a great job, which would’ve made Mom hugely proud) to losing my Harper (and thus my Mom all over again). And I think that’s the source- I didn’t feel alone from my last parents death. She was still here through Harper. But now my last physical connection to her is gone.
The house is just so quiet.

Thanks for talking. It helps so much

I will keep you in prayer...

 

[bbncal02]

I’m so, so sorry to hear of your struggles, my big blue brother. Never forget you have huge family here within the big blue nation.

My email is drowe33@live.com if you ever want someone to talk to privately.

I may take you up on that. Thank you.

 

[Fox2monk]

Prayers to you! Keep your head up as better days are ahead. We always here for a chat if you need to talk.

 

[bbncal02]

Prayers to you! Keep your head up as better days are ahead. We always here for a chat if you need to talk.

Thank you. It’s been really lonely without her. My new boss actually got me a card for her loss. He’s known me less than a few months. But when I was doing my Zoom interview for the position, Harper started barking- something she never really did. I had to shut her in the other room. Which now I feel so bad about doin

So when I told him I had to put her down, he actually got kinda choked up.

Its the little things that hurt so much right now. She would chase squirrels off the deck. They hated her. The day after she passed they were digging in the flower pots. I completely lost it. And was cussing at the squirrels like a crazy person.

i know to some people they are just dogs. But she was family to me.

 

[Fox2monk]

Thank you. It’s been really lonely without her. My new boss actually got me a card for her loss. He’s known me less than a few months. But when I was doing my Zoom interview for the position, Harper started barking- something she never really did. I had to shut her in the other room. Which now I feel so bad about doin

So when I told him I had to put her down, he actually got kinda choked up.

Its the little things that hurt so much right now. She would chase squirrels off the deck. They hated her. The day after she passed they were digging in the flower pots. I completely lost it. And was cussing at the squirrels like a crazy person.

i know to some people they are just dogs. But she was family to me.

Yeah Dogs can be just as much a part of your family as anyone. It hurts and will never be replaced but I recommend after some grieving to go look for another companion to love again. That helps a lot.

 

[jimmybuffet123]

Prayers and good vibes your way.
I’m sure Harper lived a joyful and loved life. That’s more than you can say for some dogs.

Things always get better. Sometimes it just takes a little longer than we think we can stand.

 

[bbncal02]

Yeah Dogs can be just as much a part of your family as anyone. It hurts and will never be replaced but I recommend after some grieving to go look for another companion to love again. That helps a lot.

I plan to. Just going to be awhile. Between my commute and work, It can be like an 11 hour day. Which Harper was getting used to. But I don’t want another dog to be alone that long.

 

[Fox2monk]

I plan to. Just going to be awhile. Between my commute and work, It can be like an 11 hour day. Which Harper was getting used to. But I don’t want another dog to be alone that long.

I understand that.

 

[bucsrule8872]

Praying for you brother.

 

[RunninRichie]

My dad went through something similar. Both my grandparents died in the house. When they were gone he couldn’t take sitting in there. So he moved to indiana with my aunt. I promise it gets better and you aren’t alone.

 

[BlueSince92]

Praying for better days for you!

 

[Son_Of_Saul]

OP, thank you for your transparency. I hope you're doing better. I can't go into details, but I've had the year from hell in many respects so I can empathize with your difficulties. I'm going to pray for you tonight.

 

[HICATFAN]

May His hand be upon you, May He bring you peace....Blessings to you Brother...🙏🏻

AlohaCat

 

[Ocornett]

I have 2 dogs aka my kids. I had a spitz named Elvis and he lived for 17 1/2 years. Almost lost my mind when I finally had to put him down. I buried Elvis in a baby‘s casket, and got a headstone made with his picture engraved and his dob and dod is also engraved on it. He’s buried next to my parents, and I will be buried next to him. My wife informed me that she never wanted another dog, because of the tremendous pain we both went through after his death. I had this empty feeling inside for over a year. I told my wife I wanted another dog, and it took me 6 months of negotiating for her to agree. I did a lot of research on dogs and decided on getting a miniature Australia shepherd. I named her Maggie May after the Rod Stewart song, which is my favorite song of all time. After about a year a friend of mine told me his dog, a Shitzapoo, just had puppies and he offered to give me one free. This took some more intense negotiating with my wife, but she gave in and now we have to best friends. We named the Shitzapoo Bella. I’d suggest you consider getting a new best friend. My 2 girls are like children to me and my wife. I know how much you’re hurting right now. I lost my mother in 1999, and ended up with depression and anxiety. I can guarantee you that getting a new best friend will heal your pain almost immediately.

 

[BigBlueFan19]

Praying for you!

I don’t like pushing my beliefs on anyone, but I believe I know a guy who can definitely help you out. He’s brought me out of a deep state of depression, on more than one occasion. If you would like to chat, dm me. If not, I will continue praying for you just the same!

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

 

[BigBlueFan19]

I have 2 dogs aka my kids. I had a spitz named Elvis and he lived for 17 1/2 years. Almost lost my mind when I finally had to put him down. I buried Elvis in a baby‘s casket, and got a headstone made with his picture engraved and his dob and dod is also engraved on it. He’s buried next to my parents, and I will be buried next to him. My wife informed me that she never wanted another dog, because of the tremendous pain we both went through after his death. I had this empty feeling inside for over a year. I told my wife I wanted another dog, and it took me 6 months of negotiating for her to agree. I did a lot of research on dogs and decided on getting a miniature Australia shepherd. I named her Maggie May after the Rod Stewart song, which is my favorite song of all time. After about a year a friend of mine told me his dog, a Shitzapoo, just had puppies and he offered to give me one free. This took some more intense negotiating with my wife, but she gave in and now we have to best friends. We named the Shitzapoo Bella. I’d suggest you consider getting a new best friend. My 2 girls are like children to me and my wife. I know how much you’re hurting right now. I lost my mother in 1999, and ended up with depression and anxiety. I can guarantee you that getting a new best friend will heal your pain almost immediately.

I agree with this! We lost our Chocolate Lab at 15 years a few months ago. We have a Australian Shepherd as well named Maggie Mae! She grieved harder than we did and her grieving over losing her best friend made it worse on us. I told my wife we needed to get our Maggie a new little best friend. We adopted a 8 week old German Shepherd hoping it would help our Maggie. And it did, immediately! They are best friends! Didn’t know it but it has helped us tremendously too!! We can’t have human children, so our fur babies are our whole world! Some people don’t understand and that’s ok.

 

[RunninRichie]

Praying for you!

I don’t like pushing my beliefs on anyone, but I believe I know a guy who can definitely help you out. He’s brought me out of a deep state of depression, on more than one occasion. If you would like to chat, dm me. If not, I will continue praying for you just the same!

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

This is touching, I love this place. We get on here and sometimes we bitch at each other and we fight, but we are like siblings. We may fight each other but we always have each other’s backs.

 

[HagginHall1999]

Prayers with you OP. Do your best to talk through it just as you are. Know that others are going through different circumstances that are challenging as well. We can all just do our best to make it through.

I am blessed to have a support system but a wrecking ball has hit my family this past year.

Through COVID I too lost a pet (my wife and my first kid 😊) 13 yo chocolate lab. My mom was diagnosed with BC, fortunately she is fighting it like a warrior. Dad is physically a mess (knees, ankles, back)... as an only child it is a lot to tackle. I lost an Aunt to cancer and Uncle to pneumonia....cousin diagnosed with Kidney Cancer.

I tell you this so you know you are not alone in your struggles...just talk it out with someone.

As for the pet, I couldn't urge you more to get another one as soon as possible- even if you don't think you are ready you probably are. We bought a new dog less than 3 months after losing our lab. I didn't think I was ready but it brought joy to me, my wife and kids.

Best wishes

 

[nssdigitalchumps]

I’m trying to. Haven’t got my health insurance from my new job yet (should be next week).

I’m not suicidal by any means. Just really down. Just talking helps. I’ve had a couple of friends just kinda flake out on me, making all this worse.

I went from a big high (getting my self a great job, which would’ve made Mom hugely proud) to losing my Harper (and thus my Mom all over again). And I think that’s the source- I didn’t feel alone from my last parents death. She was still here through Harper. But now my last physical connection to her is gone.
The house is just so quiet.

Thanks for talking. It helps so much

I hope you get some peace of mind soon. And once that health insurance kicks in definitely go talk to someone. It doesn’t mean you’re suicidal. It just means that sometimes you need to organize your thoughts and how you process them and a therapist can help with that. At the very least, you can let out some of those pent up emotions and feel like a weight has been lifted.

regardless, good luck. Hope everything gets better quick.

 

[fla.cat]

Peace be with you. Everyday is a gift to us, even when some of those days are painful, stressful, and “ugly”. There is always another day, that will be better, it may not be right away, but they come. Unlike many, you have a job, and with health insurance soon and home. You also have great memories of your loving mom and pooch. May I suggest you take time to reflect on your health, a good friend, all those good memories. I think you are brave to share with us, and taking that step probably helped. There are many good people, professionals that you could also talk to about your current challenges. Please get with a minister, or a counselor, to help you further understand your challenges and how to work through them. I think that is very important since you have no close family at this time. Also don’t sit, exercise is important for mental health, it occupies your mind, it releases stress, it builds a stronger you ( it gives you some simple goals, walking one mile this week, and a mile and half next week, as a simple example.)
You have reached out to us, and there are many folks on here that now have your back, and are thinking of you.
Good Luck to you. Be safe.

 

[BigBlueFan19]

This is touching, I love this place. We get on here and sometimes we bitch at each other and we fight, but we are like siblings. We may fight each other but we always have each other’s backs.

Absolutely man! I love it too!

 

[BigBlueFan19]

Prayers with you OP. Do your best to talk through it just as you are. Know that others are going through different circumstances that are challenging as well. We can all just do our best to make it through.

I am blessed to have a support system but a wrecking ball has hit my family this past year.

Through COVID I too lost a pet (my wife and my first kid 😊) 13 yo chocolate lab. My mom was diagnosed with BC, fortunately she is fighting it like a warrior. Dad is physically a mess (knees, ankles, back)... as an only child it is a lot to tackle. I lost an Aunt to cancer and Uncle to pneumonia....cousin diagnosed with Kidney Cancer.

I tell you this so you know you are not alone in your struggles...just talk it out with someone.

As for the pet, I couldn't urge you more to get another one as soon as possible- even if you don't think you are ready you probably are. We bought a new dog less than 3 months after losing our lab. I didn't think I was ready but it brought joy to me, my wife and kids.

Best wishes

This actually inspires me! Isn’t that weird? You keep getting knocked down but don’t stay there! You keep pushing!

Sorry to hear all you’ve been going through. I will be praying!

 

[ORCAT]

bbncal02 Very sorry to hear about all you have been going through and how barren you feel your life might be right now. However, you DO have a great support system as you can see by the many concerning comments above. Though you may not know most or any of us on this board personally, you see that you can count on many UK fans who have gone through a great deal in their own lives and who can empathize with you and give you great advice as to dealing with your current state of affairs. I lost both my mom and dad (not recently during COVID but still . . . ) and it is an extremely difficult time to have to deal with those losses. I, too, have been attached to pets and had to put them down and have shed my fair amount of tears over that too. I don't live alone as you do but can definitely understand the situation you describe that you are dealing with. Just remember, you can always turn to our "family" on this board in times of need and find great friendship and support here. Obviously, seeking out some professional assistance (personal counselor, etc.) would probably be a good thing too. We will pray for you in our house, my friend, and know you can come here to get things out any time you feel the need. God Bless you.​

 

[Blueheart32]

I know it’s been a long time. And I know some of you all might not remember me.

Sorry I was absent most of last year. Between Covid and the general just crap of our season, I just didn’t have much to say.

That being said I need BBNs positive thoughts and prayers.

As some of you will recall, I lost my Mom in January of 2019. The last member of my family and the biggest BBN supporter you’d ever meet. She would’ve been highly disappointed with this past season.

Well, what I didn’t mention is I that I had my best friend in our dog, Harper. Another huge “Kitty Cat” supporter. Harper was my sweet Cocker Spaniel, a gift from Mom to keep us both company and sane while I took care of Mom.

Well, my sweet girl is gone. I had to let her go on June 22nd.

Harper was my companion for 10 years.

. Harper and I struggled without Mom. But we made due. And then Covid hit. We struggled to get into the vet. But again, we made due washing her ears and grooming the best we could. She started limping and I got her in finally. Vet said it was her knee and she needed to lose some weight. No big deal.

Fast forward to February 2021. I got a new job with a lot higher pay. But it was an hour commute each way. But again, we made due. Trying to better our lives. She had lost some weight, but I didn’t know how much. And wasn’t overly worried about it due to the vets recommendation.

We fought ear infections on and off until June when one took hold in both ears. On the 21st, she got sick a few times and again, I didn’t think much of it thinking it was maybe her ears bothering her so much. But then she wasn’t acting herself. And turned her nose up at chicken. So I made the call to take her in.

She was so lethargic I had to carry her. I was fearing the worst.

They weighted her and she had lost 18 pounds. I lost it.

Vet checked her out and said, “let’s do some blood work- it will cost…”

“I don’t care. Just run it.”

He came back and just said, “She’s anemic and has a heart mumur”.

I was trying to hold it together

“But worst of all, she has advanced kidney failure.”

I lost it completely. I already knew what I was going to have to do. But I asked anyway.

I came home with an empty collar and a broken heart. The house I shared with my family empty for the first time ever. I don’t have the biggest support system. And with Harper gone, no immediate family.

I got her ashes back . And while that’s helped some, I’m still a wreck. It’s made me miss my Mom all the more. And I’ve cried more now than I did when she passed.

I’m just a wreck still. My appetite comes and goes. I’ve had panic attacks on the way to work. I’ve watched more TV than I have in my entire life. The silence has been awful. And all the drive I had to change careers and make a little bit better life has been shattered. My sleep is off. And all I’ve got any energy to do is watch TV and push through work.

I miss her so much. She was my light and sanity.
and of course as big of a UK fan as both me and Mom were.

Ive been struggling in an empty house. Crying watching the Olympics (because Mom wanted to see them- and always talked about them). Cried at Terrance’s tribute tonight.

I just miss my family.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you all for letting me share. I just need prayers as my mental health has taken a huge hit. I’m trying to get out of the house but he heat has been awful.

Really hate that you are going through this. People can become incredibly attached to their dogs. I have pit bull that is 12 now and I fear I have no more than a year or two left with her. It will rip my heart out. Your post reminded me of a thread from DI that illustrates how attached we are to our pets. You might enjoy looking through it. At the very least, it will show you that you are. It alone

People and dogs

The skunks and dogs title kind of inspired my title, but Sophie inspired the thread. I will try not to make this too long. Anyway, if you saw my post about Memorial Day boating, you know we are at the lake. So I have a pit bull named Sophie. Sweetheart most loving dog I have ever had. She has...

duke.forums.rivals.com

 

[JwUKFan11]

I’m trying to. Haven’t got my health insurance from my new job yet (should be next week).

I’m not suicidal by any means. Just really down. Just talking helps. I’ve had a couple of friends just kinda flake out on me, making all this worse.

I went from a big high (getting my self a great job, which would’ve made Mom hugely proud) to losing my Harper (and thus my Mom all over again). And I think that’s the source- I didn’t feel alone from my last parents death. She was still here through Harper. But now my last physical connection to her is gone.
The house is just so quiet.

Thanks for talking. It helps so much

Just know In someway they are proud of you and still with you in some capacity no matter how little it feels. I’m sure some days will be harder then others but there will also be the bright spots. Give it a while and see if a new pet comes your way, if not seek one out. Maybe adoption, you can change another living things life.

 

[UKGrad93]

It is ok to be sad. You have lost your mother who raised you and loved you unconditionally. You have lost your dog, a trusted friend that relied on you and loved you unconditionally. Those are heavy losses my friend. Some say that grief is love that has no where to go. I have learned that there are no time limits on grief.

You are their legacy. As you remember them, you will spread that same kind of love into the world. So they are gone now and you will miss them. But rest assured, that some day, you will be reunited.

I took some liberty with 1 Corinthians 13. I hope no one is offended.

Harper is patient, Harper is kind. She does not envy, she does not boast, she is not proud. She does not dishonor others, she is not self-seeking, she is not easily angered, she keeps no record of wrongs. Harper does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Harper always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

[bbncal02]

Thank you all.

I appreciate the kind words. Today has been a quiet hard day. I haven’t felt good (migraine, sinus junk) and there’s been next to nothing on TV to distract me. These are the kind of days Harper helped me most.

Football and basketball season can’t get here soon enough.

 

[YardCat]

Prayers

 

[rdbipb]

Thank you. It’s been really lonely without her. My new boss actually got me a card for her loss. He’s known me less than a few months. But when I was doing my Zoom interview for the position, Harper started barking- something she never really did. I had to shut her in the other room. Which now I feel so bad about doin

So when I told him I had to put her down, he actually got kinda choked up.

Its the little things that hurt so much right now. She would chase squirrels off the deck. They hated her. The day after she passed they were digging in the flower pots. I completely lost it. And was cussing at the squirrels like a crazy person.

i know to some people they are just dogs. But she was family to me.

They're family here as well. Those that see them as just "things" never realize the wonderful gifts they are from God to those of us who love them like He does.

 

[Gromcat]

It’s at this point that you will grow stronger than you have probably ever imagined you could. It’s a transition. If you ever need to talk, let me know. I’m in the mental health therapy realm and wouldn’t need your insurance. Have no problem exchanging phone numbers with you.

We’re not members right now so the private feature isn’t an option, but maybe JohnBlue could link us together. I’m not sure.

Be sure and take care of yourself, reach out, and move forward. Focus little on the past.