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You might be a UL fan

Swimcat20

Blue Chip Prospect
Dec 27, 2014
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981
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It's that time of the year. Last game of football Christmas time basketball games just around the corner. So lets examine what might characteristics qualify a person to be a proper fan of the University of Louisville.

1. Your friends and family might qualify you.

a. If the only time you've ever been out of Jefferson County was to visit your father in Eddyville.
b. If the last women in your family to buy diapers and baby formula and not pay for them with USDA food stamps was your great grandmother.
c. If you high school reunion had to held on Zoom, not because of Covid 19 but because most of you class is in Eddyville, Lagrange, and Pee Wee Valley.
d. If your mother is in jail for assaulting a Little League Umpire,
e. If your little sister has been suspended by the Kentucky high school athletic association for starting cheerleader fist fights at high school basketball games, and your mother ran down on the court and fought too.
f. If your girlfriend has been on Maury Povich more than once.
g. If you watch Cops and Fist 48 hours to see if anyone you know is featured.

YOU MIGHT BE A UL FAN

2. You car might qualify you as well.

a. If there's a bath towel where the passenger side window used to be.
b. If you have to take the bungi cords off your car to open the trunk, because you were uninsured in an accident and so was the guy who hit you.
c. If you keep you car at your cousins house so the off the lot finance company doesn't repo it.

YOU MIGHT BE A UL FAN

3. Most likely qualify you'll all by yourself.


a. If the most important thing you learned at UL was how to qualify for SSI, food stamps, medicaid, and section 8 housing.
b. If you spend more money on Kentucky lottery tickets than your children's education.
c. If you can't afford to go to the UL game because your welfare check didn't come in and the payday loan was closed.
d. If you're afraid to go to the UL game because you might see your parole officer.
e. If can't go to the UL game because your home confinement ankle bracelet will go off.
f. If you're delusional enough to think that UL is going re hang the banner of 2013.
g. If you delusional enough to think that Ul's fan base extends beyond the Watterson expressway.
h. If your idea of a great evenings entertainment is to go to Walmart and watch women fist fight in the checkout lines.
i. If you don't know where Indiana is.
j. If you buy your pants based on how well they stay up when your belt line is bottom of your ass.

YOU COULD VERY WELL BE A UL FAN.
 
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You might be a U of L fan if you think Eastern Kentucky starts at Shelbyville.

You might be a U of L fan of you’ve miraculously survived hurling yourself from the second street bridge . . . twice a year.

You might be a U of L fan if you have a Tom Jurich tattoo somewhere on your body . . . and you’re still proud of it.

You might be a U of L fan if friends and neighbors had to explain to you why stripper poles in Manardi Hall were inappropriate . . . . Three damn times.

You might be a U of L fan if your refrigerator explodes and more than 3 bottles of Crown Royal are lost.

You might be a U of L fan if your girlfriend develops a rash from rubbing against your linebeard.

You might be a U of L fan if your girlfriend develops a rash from rubbing against your best friend’s linebeard.

You might be a U of L fan if you develop a rash rubbing against your girlfriend.

You might be a U of L fan if you ever swam
in the Ohio River without your boat sinking.

You might be a U of L fan if the thought of Ralston-Purina silos gets you pumped for football season.

You might be a U of L fan if you headed to Lexington on I-64 for the game, but had to listen to it coming back from central Missouri.

You might be a U of L fan if you work
for a UK fan.

You might be a U of L fan if Louisville, West of 12th Street, looks just a “little sketchy.”

You might be a U of L fan if the most you have ever paid for a football ticket was Ten Bucks at a Costco.
 
From the reporter on the film of the Cruise fight:

“An alleged threesome and jealousy may have sparked this chaos.”

Somebody didn’t get that promised “reach around,” and then everybody has to pay the price!!

I’m telling you, if a simple threesome causes this kind of violence, where are we headed as a society??
 
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