What's your worst experience with an animal in the wild?
- Thread starter uksam21
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A few years ago a buddy and I were hiking in Georgia. We rounded a slight curve in the trail and about 30 yards away, directly in front of us, was a very large, agitated black bear. We both instantly froze. As the bear started to walk menacingly towards us, I eased off my pack, took out my running shoes, then started to unlace my hiking boots.
“What the hell are you thinking? You can’t outrun a bear,” said my friend under his breath as he remained motionless. “True — but I don’t have to outrun that bear. I just have to outrun you,” I replied as I tied the last knot in my shoes and took off. Dude never spoke to me again.
“What the hell are you thinking? You can’t outrun a bear,” said my friend under his breath as he remained motionless. “True — but I don’t have to outrun that bear. I just have to outrun you,” I replied as I tied the last knot in my shoes and took off. Dude never spoke to me again.
A dog barked at me once.
Animals know better than to mess around.
Animals know better than to mess around.
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This pit bull tried to rape my lil fur baby. I said NO and chased it off.
Hey guys, I’ve got a confession to make. That story I told earlier never happened. I’m sorry for lying.
Does a cicada count as an anima;? I had one land on my shoulder one time. Didn't realize it. Turned my head and saw it out of the corner of my eye and freaked because it looked like hell span and gigantic being so close to my face.
Back when I worked for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Department (FFWD), we got a call that some idiot shanked an 8-iron into the pond at a local golf course. The dumb ass then sliced his hand on a broken bottle while trying to retrieve his ball from the drink, but claimed he was attacked by an alligator or snapping turtle.
Although it was obvious what had actually happened, we at the FFWD were legally obligated to go through the motions of an actual investigation. This was time consuming work and it was as humid as it was hot. Thankfully, the 19th Hole at the golf course happened to have a special on fuzzy navels that day.
Now, what does all of that have to do with my worst experience with an animal in the wild?
Well, this particular course butts up against the Gulf and those fuzzy navels were awfully tasty. I had a few too many, fell in and was repeatedly raped by a female bottlenose dolphin named Finderella.
Wait, a female? Yes, a female. Let's just say that because of Finderella, I now have a better appreciation than most on why they are called bottlenose dolphins.
I miss her. This broken heart is the most damage any animal has ever inflicted upon me in the wild.
Although it was obvious what had actually happened, we at the FFWD were legally obligated to go through the motions of an actual investigation. This was time consuming work and it was as humid as it was hot. Thankfully, the 19th Hole at the golf course happened to have a special on fuzzy navels that day.
Now, what does all of that have to do with my worst experience with an animal in the wild?
Well, this particular course butts up against the Gulf and those fuzzy navels were awfully tasty. I had a few too many, fell in and was repeatedly raped by a female bottlenose dolphin named Finderella.
Wait, a female? Yes, a female. Let's just say that because of Finderella, I now have a better appreciation than most on why they are called bottlenose dolphins.
I miss her. This broken heart is the most damage any animal has ever inflicted upon me in the wild.
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I was once tasked to find a missing dolphin and the clues led me to some rich assholes mansion. I got into a party he was having and snuck out of a bathroom to find a giant tank of water. it was the perfect place to hide a dolphin so I went to investigate closer calling for the dolphin like it was a dog and a freakin sharked leaped out of the tank!!! I barely got out of there alive. Shew.
I was in Jessamine County, hiking to Highbridge and saw the biggest Mountain Lion east of the Mississippi. Had to be 5 feet tall. Shrill growl and ate my chicken and cheese sandwich I packed... drank my ice cold Ski too.
TMFS.
TMFS.
Nope cicada not an anima;
A male cicada can have an anima, according to Jung.
Jessamine County huh? That wasn't a mountain lion. It was Julie Estes
Looks like Willy already shutdown the joke posts, so here is a serious (unremarkable) reply:
Was hiking the AT with a couple of buddies when it started pouring the rain as the sun went down. Rather than hike the extra couple of miles to reach a shelter, we decided to pitch a small tent and keep as dry as possible for the night.
Shortly after squeezing into the tent for what was sure to be a cold, miserable night of sporadic sleep, we heard it...
Just below the ridge something very large was rustling around in the brush. It was undoubtedly a black bear. We spent the rest of the night discussing what we should do about it and ultimately just laid there listening to the bastard huff and snort. Sounded a lot like the video below at the two-minute mark.
Was hiking the AT with a couple of buddies when it started pouring the rain as the sun went down. Rather than hike the extra couple of miles to reach a shelter, we decided to pitch a small tent and keep as dry as possible for the night.
Shortly after squeezing into the tent for what was sure to be a cold, miserable night of sporadic sleep, we heard it...
Just below the ridge something very large was rustling around in the brush. It was undoubtedly a black bear. We spent the rest of the night discussing what we should do about it and ultimately just laid there listening to the bastard huff and snort. Sounded a lot like the video below at the two-minute mark.
Had to beat the crap out of this guy one time.
Was hiking in Wyoming by myself on Very narrow trail and turned a blind corner to see a huge mf elk and her baby. Stare down motionless for about 3-4 morning minutes before they moved away.
While walking home from school I saw a squirrel in someone's yard that was moving in my general direction. I stopped to see what it was going to do. Well it kept heading in my direction a few little hops at a time. Before you know it, the squirrel was only a few feet away. I figured someone must have had the thing for a pet or fed it all the time to have no fear of me.
Next thing you know it hopped up onto my pants leg. That's when I became a little worried. I tried doing the shooing motion while thinking that I hope it didn't have it's eyes on the wrong kind of nuts. It eventually jumped back down and hopped away. It wasn't a fear for your life moment, but definitely was an unusual encounter with a supposedly wild animal.
It reminded me of when my grandfather used to sit on the back porch and hand feed a squirrel and some kind of bird. He would talk to them while handing out some kind of food. The bird came back every year for a number of years to see him. I was always amazed just watching him talking to them and seeing them interact with him. It was like watching a real life Doctor Doolittle. One of my fond memories of my grandfather.
Next thing you know it hopped up onto my pants leg. That's when I became a little worried. I tried doing the shooing motion while thinking that I hope it didn't have it's eyes on the wrong kind of nuts. It eventually jumped back down and hopped away. It wasn't a fear for your life moment, but definitely was an unusual encounter with a supposedly wild animal.
It reminded me of when my grandfather used to sit on the back porch and hand feed a squirrel and some kind of bird. He would talk to them while handing out some kind of food. The bird came back every year for a number of years to see him. I was always amazed just watching him talking to them and seeing them interact with him. It was like watching a real life Doctor Doolittle. One of my fond memories of my grandfather.
Your story, is about 10 sentences shorter and ten times cooler than my long-winded tale of being scared of a nearby bear while huddled in a tent with two other dudes.
Best & Worst. Went on a safari with my wife in Africa. We were with our guide in an open top Land Rover (like the one below). We came across our first pride of lions (5 of them). They walked up within six feet of our vehicle and just stared at us. I could feel my blood pressure shoot up. I later learned that the lions don't view the cars as anything of interest as they are used to them. That is unless you stand up in the car or make too much noise. Then all bets are off. I was glad I had on my brown pants for that first encounter.
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Best & Worst. Went on a safari with my wife in Africa. We were with our guide in an open top LandRover (like the one below). We came across our first pride of lions (5 of them). They walked up within six feet of our vehicle and just stared at us. I could feel my blood pressure shoot up. I later learned that the lions don't view the cars as anything of interest as they are used to them. That is unless you stand up in the car or make too much noise. Then all bets are off. I was glad I had on my brown pants for that first encounter.
Why did you tell a story about lions and then post a picture of a cheetah?
The picture was intended to give you an idea of how exposed you are to game in an open top Land Rover. Here is a picture of the vehicles with lions.
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Thought I was a dead man once. Was hiking to a waterfall in Glacier NP with a group and we were warned that there could be brown bears. We got there and I went to the top, just about 20 feet. Was standing there looking around and spotted some eyes watching me from dense foliage about 10 feet away. It moved and I about shit myself until a deer ran out.
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