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Two Year's . . . Two Bowls . . . and I Still Don't Hate Iowa!

The-Hack

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Oct 1, 2016
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Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laettner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google search reveals that any relative of Laettner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that. And the whole family had dimples . . . .

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .
 
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Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laetner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google reveals that any relative of Laetner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that.

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby, feel a little frisky. All I can think of.
 
Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laetner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google reveals that any relative of Laetner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that.

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Great post!
 
Only Big Ten teams I really dislike are Ohio State, Penn State and Michigan. I have an incredible disdain toward all 3 of those programs. Otherwise, I have no real issues with anyone else in the Big Ten.
 
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Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laettner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google reveals that any relative of Laettner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that. And the whole family had dimples . . . .

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .
". . . and the whole family had dimples! " Thats why you're the best
 
I'm going to remember the dimples line for a long time. You should have been a scribe, Hack.
I actually added that late. I literally thought back to seeing the family: young parents in their 30’s . . . and all had that blonde, healthy Germanic look . . . .

And I in my slovenly, Scotch/Irish near drunken stupor . . . had a “very nice”
conversation with them.

And that is the value of Bowl season: forcing Baptists and Lutherans to sit together while their progeny endeavor to brain one another marching up and down the field in militaristic fashion, buoyed by the nationalistic waiving of the respective flags, the singing of fight songs that date back 100 or more years, . . . .

God I had to wipe my eyes, again!
 
I actually added that late. I literally thought back to seeing the family: young parents in their 30’s . . . and all had that blonde, healthy Germanic look . . . .

And I in my slovenly, Scotch/Irish near drunken stupor . . . had a “very nice”
conversation with them.

And that is the value of Bowl season: forcing Baptists and Lutherans to sit together while their progeny endeavor to brain one another marching up and down the field in militaristic fashion, buoyed by the nationalistic waiving of the respective flags, the singing of fight songs that date back 100 or more years, . . . .

God I had to wipe my eyes, again!
You old romantic.
 
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You old romantic.
Years ago at a Spring game, Mr. Cobble threw a (then) legal and beautiful block right in front of me and my girlfriend . . . a slobber-knocker with a massive “pow” at the point of collision, with spit flying and two 320 pounders then struggling to get back up. I felt my girlfriends’ stare, turned with a literal tear in my eye and said “that was F@ckimg Beautiful, Honey”

And it was.
 
As an Iowa fan i have more respect with your dislike of Nebraska! Lol. Yes laettner is still scum in my eyes. Hawkeye fans don't seem to have any issues with the cats. We have a poor oline and 3rd string qb. Almost no wrs. Our offense was/is one of the worst in the country this year. We hope to score 14 in most games. Many of us do really enjoy whiskey though. Good luck in the game and hopefully nobody gets injured. And beat Tennessee next year please.
 
They are boring and mundane and a carbon copy of UK for the most part. There isn't anything exciting to dislike, much less hate.
 
Almost no wrs. Our offense was/is one of the worst in the country this year. We hope to score 14 in most games.
Well, we tried to make up for our O-line shortcomings with an immobile and injured QB, further bolstered by a frequent inability to long-snap within 10 yards of our punter or holder on FG’s and xtra points.

Our starting punter got hurt at Mizzou, having retreated 60 yards to our one yard line to retrieve the poor snap, and turning to kick it, just as he got clobbered by a guy who forgot to go for the block. Our punter was still in “the tackle box.” The call: roughing the punter, 15 yards and a first down.

The worst play I have ever seen to gain 15 yards.
 
Only Big Ten teams I really dislike are Ohio State, Penn State and Michigan. I have an incredible disdain toward all 3 of those programs. Otherwise, I have no real issues with anyone else in the Big Ten.
Thats because other than those three, the BIG is basically useless.
 
Only Big Ten teams I really dislike are Ohio State, Penn State and Michigan. I have an incredible disdain toward all 3 of those programs. Otherwise, I have no real issues with anyone else in the Big Ten.
F Indiana
 
We may hate them this year, Iowa defense against this very weak Oline, new Qback and no crod, this may very well be a very long afternoon.
The thing is that they are basically in the same situation. This is gonna be a defensive game unless something freakish happens. I can live with watching 2 good defenses go at it, and there's 2 other teams wiping the sweat off their brows knowing they don't have to face these 2 defenses. And I think CMS loves himself a good defensive game, and the Iowa coach probably feels the same way. No, we're not gonna light up the scoreboard, but there are probably gonna be a lot of slobberknockers and sore bodies on Sunday. Guys looking at each other in the ice bath groaning, "Man! Is this worth it?!" Then chuckling and smiling a few minutes later as they remember a good lick they got in. LFG!!!
 
I lived/worked up there for four years and have never had a bad thing to say about it. Keokuk is where we lived but I worked all the way up to Dubuque, great people at every turn. I even still have a Hawkeye football, which is not something I would normally do. Anyhoo..
 
Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laettner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google search reveals that any relative of Laettner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that. And the whole family had dimples . . . .

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Naw, why bother with the hate. My experience has been people from both states are pretty down-to-earth and authentic. That's pretty rare these days. And if you haven't noticed, your head coach has some pretty strong ties to Iowa, so...

Should be a fun game Saturday. Good luck!
 
Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laettner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google search reveals that any relative of Laettner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that. And the whole family had dimples . . . .

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .
As you know, I'm pure Iowans. I appreciate your sentiment towards Iowa and their fans. We try to have some class. Generally speaking I think your fan base embodies class.

Our programs resemble one another. Hell, your program is run by a former Hawkeye so not surprising :)

Guessing our programs won't play again for some time after back to back bowl games. But continue to root us on and we will do the same!
 
I lived/worked up there for four years and have never had a bad thing to say about it. Keokuk is where we lived but I worked all the way up to Dubuque, great people at every turn. I even still have a Hawkeye football, which is not something I would normally do. Anyhoo..
You lived in Keokuk and still found nothing bad to say about Iowa? Holy damn!
 
I've liked everyone I've ever met from Iowa, and I'm a fan of corn and the bourbon we make with it.

They're alright in my book. Definitely who I'd root for to win the Big Ten. Hope Indiana never wins against them in any sport ever.
 
I've liked everyone I've ever met from Iowa, and I'm a fan of corn and the bourbon we make with it.

They're alright in my book. Definitely who I'd root for to win the Big Ten. Hope Indiana never wins against them in any sport ever.
Keep rooting for us in the future and we will you!
 
Road my bicycle across Iowa in 2006. This year RAGBRAI had 18,000 riders. Only in Iowa could this happen every year because the locals make it so great. And BTW, Iowa is not flat!!!
 
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Road my bicycle across Iowa in 2005. This year RAGBRAI had 18,000 riders. Only in Iowa could this happen every year because the locals make it so great. And BTW, Iowa is not flat!!!
Glad you had a RAGBRAI experience. Truly nothing like it.

Sadly, every part of America people have perceptions. The perception of Iowa is it's as flat as a table, only has corn growing on it, and has just a couple buildings sticking out from the corn. Glad you have a different understanding of it. For quality of life, it's truly been a great place for me to have lived all years of my life but 8 and raise a family here.
 
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Oh. and I've been looking . . . .

Thought I heard a rumor last year that Christian Laettner's Paternal Grandfather was from Iowa . . . . but alas, a simple Google search reveals that any relative of Laettner is, in fact, from the depths of HELL.

I like corn, soybeans, and wheat. No cereal or cereal producer has ever pissed me off. Yes, I'm a cattleman (at times) but my cattle like cereals even more than I do.

Walking into the Citrus, last year, I spoke with a young family with two toddlers. All wearing Iowa colors. They said they were really Iowa State fans, but drove over from their bowl to support Iowa. Nice! Almost too nice. Just hard to hate on that. And the whole family had dimples . . . .

I have nothing against Hawks, or Hawkeyes. Their yellow color is not a bad choice with black, and is not a puke or pumpkin shade of color, reminding one of Tennessee or Mizzou's hideous color schemes.

All their fans appeared respectful and polite.

I saw nary a drunk Iowa fan.

Maybe pregame we all should offer to buy them beer and bourbon; get them to mix drinks, unwisely . . . . to show their true colors!!!! Somehow I envision my new drunken Iowa friend stumbling over the words, "I respectfully disagree with the call," and then turning red from embarrassment.

There has to be something. I mean there's "something" with everyone, right? . . . . like Wisconsin and Nebraska.

Yes, I can hate Wisconsin and Nebraska!

Tell me that idiotic "cheesehead" isn't just a midwestern mask of a bad hair Saturday!

And "Cornhuskers?" Give me a break; Iowa produces far more corn than Nebraska. So, maybe Nebraska is real proud of husking Iowa's corn (don't go there . . . Iowa folks might read this ish.).

But Iowa?

I'm at a loss . . . like a big game hunter at the South Pole . . . like a prostitute at a revival . . . like a Baptist at Mass, . . . I'm just slightly stumped, here.

There has to be something . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Trying to hate on Iowa is like trying to hate on Canada.
 
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