story on rocky top

[ColonelCat]

During the gulf war, Iraq captured 2 of our soldiers-one from Temnnessee and one from Kentucky, who were dressed as spies. They appeared before Saddam Hussein, and he said " since you were caught spying I am going to execute both of you, but being the benevolent dictator that I am, I am going to grant both of you one last wish". The one from Tennessee started weeping and said, "O thank you Mr Hussein, if I have one last wish I want to hear the song 'Rocky Top' just one more time." Saddam said, " your wish will be granted." He then turned to the Kentucky boy and asked, 'What is you wish?" The Ky boy answered--"shoot me now".

 

[Orange Soda King]

A UK fan, Georgia fan, Alabama fan, and Tennessee fan went hiking up a mountain, and of course packed a few drinks with them. Maybe a few too many, as they started drunkenly bantering over who was the most dedicated fan to their team. The Alabama fan said, "I'll show you how dedicated I am. This is for Alabama!!" He then jumped off a tall cliff of the mountain, to his death. The Georgia fan shouted, "Humph, I can do that too. This is for Georgia!!" and he leaped (leapt?) off the cliff as well. The Kentucky fan, not to be outdone, gladly exclaimed, "This is for Kentucky!" and then he threw the Tennessee fan off the cliff.

 

[gright]

A University of Louisville fan saw an ad in the newspaper for a cruise for 100 dollars. He went down to the travel agency and put his money on the counter and asked for the 100 dollar cruise. The man at the counter pulled out a ball bat and knocked him out with the ball bat then tied pillows around him with ropes and threw him out back into the river. A little while later a fan from the University of Tennessee came in and also wanted the 100 dollar cruise and got the same treatment. Later they were floating down the river and the 1 from Louisville asked if they were going to serve food on this cruise and the 1 from Tennessee said "they didn't last year".

 

[DCFseattle]

Tennessee football is a national power.

(This is a Tennessee joke thread, right?)

 

[jrm693]

"Well here goes". There was once a young boy whose dad and mom severely beat him so he became a ward of the court, the judge told the little boy I believe it would be in your best interest to go and live with your grandparents, the little boy said please dont do that, where do you think my parents learned to beat me like they did, the judge said OK I will let you go live with your Aunt and again the little boy pleaded to not be sent to her as she was worse than any of them, so on down the list of relatives the judge preceded, but all were not satisfactory to the boy, until finally the judge exhausted said well son do you have any idea where we could place you. The boy brightened up and said "please send me to the University Of Tennessee". The judge exclaimed the UT why in the world would you want to go there, to which the little boy replied "because they dont beat nobody".!!!!

 

[BBUK]

During the gulf war, Iraq captured 2 of our soldiers-one from Temnnessee and one from Kentucky, who were dressed as spies. They appeared before Saddam Hussein, and he said " since you were caught spying I am going to execute both of you, but being the benevolent dictator that I am, I am going to grant both of you one last wish". The one from Tennessee started weeping and said, "O thank you Mr Hussein, if I have one last wish I want to hear the song 'Rocky Top' just one more time." Saddam said, " your wish will be granted." He then turned to the Kentucky boy and asked, 'What is you wish?" The Ky boy answered--"shoot me now".

 

[CatPhight]

 

[rick64]

Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park

Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in Tennessee?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA.

Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Tennessee?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

 

[Creed Bratton]

Tennessee football is a national power.

(This is a Tennessee joke thread, right?)

UT football players are Champions of life.

 

[ColonelCat]

How do you get a UT graduate off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

 

[ColonelCat]

What do you get when you have 32 Tennessee cheerleaders together?

A full set of teeth.

 

[On-On-UK]

A Tennessee fan goes into his local watering hole and orders a beer. The bartender, a Kentucky fan, likes to mess with the Vol.

When the bartender gives the guy his beer, he says, "Hey, dumbass, have you seen Ben?" The Vol fan said, "Ben who?" The bartender replies, "Ben Dover, and kiss my ass." The whole bar erupts in laughter and the Vol fan leaves in a huff.

On his way home, the Vol fan stops in another bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "What's up friend? You look down in the dumps." He said, "Well, I just left another bar where everyone made fun of me. The bartender asked me if I had seen Ben. When I said Ben who, he said, Ben Dover and kiss my ass. It really embarrassed me."

The bartender said, "Why don't you get back at them?" "I would, but I don't know how" he replied. The bartender told him to go back to that bar and act like nothing ever happened. He said to ask the bartender if he had seen Eileen. When the bartender says Eileen who, you say, Eileen Over and you kiss my ass. The Vol fan jumps up and shouts "Yes!, I'll show them who's the dumbass".

So the Vol fan walks back into the first bar like nothing ever happened, sits at the bar and orders a beer. "By the way, bartender, have you seen Eileen?" The bartender says, "Yea. She's back there with Ben." The Vol fan said, "Ben who?"

 

[Dr. Curmudgeon]

During the gulf war, Iraq captured 2 of our soldiers-one from Temnnessee and one from Kentucky, who were dressed as spies. They appeared before Saddam Hussein, and he said " since you were caught spying I am going to execute both of you, but being the benevolent dictator that I am, I am going to grant both of you one last wish". The one from Tennessee started weeping and said, "O thank you Mr Hussein, if I have one last wish I want to hear the song 'Rocky Top' just one more time." Saddam said, " your wish will be granted." He then turned to the Kentucky boy and asked, 'What is you wish?" The Ky boy answered--"shoot me now".

It should have been my old Kentucky home but apparently the tucky-boy didn't have enough pride in his own state??

 

[pascat]

Why is Tennessee switching back to artificial turf at Neyland Stadium?

To prevent the cheerleaders from grazing.

 

[CatPhight]

 

[blue greg]

A farmer is walking through his cattle when he hears music. He moves in closer and realizes it is Rocky Top and it's coming from the rear end of a cow. He is completely amazed and calls his vet who comes over immediately. He walks him up to the cow, and says "listen can you hear it?" The vet says "Yeah, I hear it, isn't the first time I've heard an asshole play Rocky Top>"

 

[CatPhight]

 

[YouKay]

Q: Why dont they have prostitutes in Tennessee?

A: They're all Volunteers!
--------
Q: Why doesn't Kentucky slide into the Ohio River?

A: Because Tennessee sucks!

 

[CatPhight]

Admirals Cister Ship

 

[420grover]

 

[CELTICAT]

What has 30 teeth and an IQ of 80?

The upper level of Neyland stadium on game day.

 

[CBR07TN]

Yet again another Tennessee post ! Good grief, better worry about Miss State tomorrow .

 

[420grover]

Yet again another Tennessee post ! Good grief, better worry about Miss State tomorrow .

Anything said on this board is not going to affect the outcome of the game tomorrow. Why are you here instead of on Florida's board?

 

[CELTICAT]

Yet again another Tennessee post ! Good grief, better worry about Miss State tomorrow .

Remember that time you and a buddy went to the football game and Smokey ran out to midfield, plopped down and started licking himself, and your buddy said "boy I wish I could do that" and then you replied "THAT DOG'D BITE YOU!"

 

[LordEggForgotHisPassword]

You know why they separate the days classes are held for drivers ed and sex education at UT?

It was too hard on the mule otherwise.

 

[UKBrassowTipIN]

Yet again another Tennessee post ! Good grief, better worry about Miss State tomorrow .

Have have you all played miss st, auburn, lsu or KY yet? Oh, you havent?

Btw, yall still upset that your football team will never win a championship again, and mad bc deep down you know its true?

 

[KyWildcatDon]

During the gulf war, Iraq captured 2 of our soldiers-one from Temnnessee and one from Kentucky, who were dressed as spies. They appeared before Saddam Hussein, and he said " since you were caught spying I am going to execute both of you, but being the benevolent dictator that I am, I am going to grant both of you one last wish". The one from Tennessee started weeping and said, "O thank you Mr Hussein, if I have one last wish I want to hear the song 'Rocky Top' just one more time." Saddam said, " your wish will be granted." He then turned to the Kentucky boy and asked, 'What is you wish?" The Ky boy answered--"shoot me now".

I would change the Ky boy’s response to “I just wish to live to see Ky meet Tennessee in the final four”, since Tennessee never will make one he will live forever!

 

[Fox2monk]

Tennessee football is a national power.

(This is a Tennessee joke thread, right?)

Bahahaha! That's gold Jerry GOLD.

 

[Fox2monk]

Admirals Cister Ship

That's a hell of a house boat there son. He mortgaged the trailer three times for that beauty.

 

[ekywildcat]

A farmer is walking through his cattle when he hears music. He moves in closer and realizes it is Rocky Top and it's coming from the rear end of a cow. He is completely amazed and calls his vet who comes over immediately. He walks him up to the cow, and says "listen can you hear it?" The vet says "Yeah, I hear it, isn't the first time I've heard an asshole play Rocky Top>"

Winner Winner chicken dinner!!!

 

[morgousky]

Yet again another Tennessee post ! Good grief, better worry about Miss State tomorrow .

No actually we can make fun of you anytime because we own you and Tennessee sucks ass in just about everything except basketball once per 15 years.

Why are you here? Your entire athletic department is a punch line it just so happened you had a few gems on the roster inherited. It happens.

I would be embarrassed to be a UT fan and show up on an Alabama, UK, or Florida message board.

 

[CBR07TN]

Anything said on this board

No actually we can make fun of you anytime because we own you and Tennessee sucks ass in just about everything except basketball once per 15 years.

Why are you here? Your entire athletic department is a punch line it just so happened you had a few gems on the roster inherited. It happens.

I would be embarrassed to be a UT fan and show up on an Alabama, UK, or Florida message board.

yep you are right ! Lmao ! Typical Kentucky hater...

 

[kybassfan]

Rocky Top! It’s home sweet home tuh muh front tooff and meeeee !

 

[Rideordiewildcat]

Some one-liners. Some might be a little cheesy.
How do they circumcise guys in TN? Kick their sisters in the back of the head.

 

[Rideordiewildcat]

What do Tennessee Volunteers do on Halloween? Pump kin!

 

[Rideordiewildcat]

Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Tennessee? Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

 

[Rideordiewildcat]

What's the difference between TN BB and yogurt? Yogurt has an active living culture.

 

[CatPhight]

 

[Rideordiewildcat]

Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Tennessee? Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

 

[Rideordiewildcat]

What does a Tennessee Volunteers fan do when his team has won the National championship in BB? He turns off the PlayStation.