That should be the headline in papers all across the United States tomorrow. "Student-Athlete" from today forward can mean anything from a shortstop who majors in mechanical engineering to a small forward engaged in a fraudulent scheme that should bring great shame upon himself and the so-called intitution of higher learning at which he receives free tuition, board, and more food than the entire city of Chapel Hill.
Fraud, Scam, Scheme, Game, Scheisters, Sham, Farce, etc. should all be used liberally to describe NC's (I'm purposely omitting the "U") decade-long system of "higher learning." All those words are true to describe arguably the worst scandal in the history of college sports.
Here is basically what the NCAA is saying:
"Despite our nauseatingly constant use of the term "student-athlete," we don't care one iota about the way you people we oversee might design a class or govern what a kid must do to "enroll" and "take a class," and thereby we don't give a shit about the kid and his/her education. In concert with that liberal philosophy, they can take "Underwater Basketweaving" for all we care or whatever the hell they want or essentially nothing at all as long as they are admitted somewhere as a member of your club and are alive, living, and breathing." Attendance is not mandatory; an actual professor or teacher is not necessary; providing a syllabus in this case would smack of a disengenuous attitude that can be circumvented by having no syllabus at all--is simply not provided to the person. Work involving real classwork is not a requisite for the person to be able to play and compete at the highest levels, to use state-of-the-art, million dollar equipment not otherwise accesible, and achieve top individual awards and national championships. You do locally what you need to do to make this shit work--falsifying records is not necessary because the class is no longer necessary. No paper trail need be created in any form or fashion.
So, since we do care about the kid first and their education, here's what we need at UK:
An accelerated new economics major called NBA Career Studies. Play a game = 3 credit hours. Practices are worth 1 credit hour. Community service = Huge Credits. Give an interview = 1 hr credit for each one so you can minor in communications and broadcast journalism. Ankles Taped? One hour credit each time in sports training. Keep a diary = 30 hours Eng101-Eng601. After one semester, we give you that nice looking "SEC Graduate" patch to wear on your uniform. New meaning to "One and Done." One semester and you're done...graduate in December. Stick around to play the second semester and you're in Graduate School. After one year, you receive a Masters in Business to go with your tidy undergrad degree of NBA Studies. Boom! You're done. Even much better than North Carolina.
Shame on the NCAA and North Carolina.
Fraud, Scam, Scheme, Game, Scheisters, Sham, Farce, etc. should all be used liberally to describe NC's (I'm purposely omitting the "U") decade-long system of "higher learning." All those words are true to describe arguably the worst scandal in the history of college sports.
Here is basically what the NCAA is saying:
"Despite our nauseatingly constant use of the term "student-athlete," we don't care one iota about the way you people we oversee might design a class or govern what a kid must do to "enroll" and "take a class," and thereby we don't give a shit about the kid and his/her education. In concert with that liberal philosophy, they can take "Underwater Basketweaving" for all we care or whatever the hell they want or essentially nothing at all as long as they are admitted somewhere as a member of your club and are alive, living, and breathing." Attendance is not mandatory; an actual professor or teacher is not necessary; providing a syllabus in this case would smack of a disengenuous attitude that can be circumvented by having no syllabus at all--is simply not provided to the person. Work involving real classwork is not a requisite for the person to be able to play and compete at the highest levels, to use state-of-the-art, million dollar equipment not otherwise accesible, and achieve top individual awards and national championships. You do locally what you need to do to make this shit work--falsifying records is not necessary because the class is no longer necessary. No paper trail need be created in any form or fashion.
So, since we do care about the kid first and their education, here's what we need at UK:
An accelerated new economics major called NBA Career Studies. Play a game = 3 credit hours. Practices are worth 1 credit hour. Community service = Huge Credits. Give an interview = 1 hr credit for each one so you can minor in communications and broadcast journalism. Ankles Taped? One hour credit each time in sports training. Keep a diary = 30 hours Eng101-Eng601. After one semester, we give you that nice looking "SEC Graduate" patch to wear on your uniform. New meaning to "One and Done." One semester and you're done...graduate in December. Stick around to play the second semester and you're in Graduate School. After one year, you receive a Masters in Business to go with your tidy undergrad degree of NBA Studies. Boom! You're done. Even much better than North Carolina.
Shame on the NCAA and North Carolina.
