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GYERO

but there were times when a girl would try and save like 30 pool chairs or something ridiculous and people were like WTF.

[roll] That's like the most chick thing of all-time. Why do women care so much about having everyone in a group sit together? This has always driven me nuts. If we have 15 people, I'm not going to be able to talk to everyone anyway so who gives a F if we're all seated together?

Actually, I know the reason- so as not to hurt any other woman's feelings.
 
I'd laugh in someone's face if they told me I couldn't have a couple of pool chairs because they were saving 30 of them.
 
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^ pretty much. Luckily my lass got up at 4:30 am to save "our spot" each day, but that didn't stop them from surrounding us. Basically felt like we were trapped in the middle of a mosh pit by mid-afternoon when they were in their prime. Going to the swim up bar was an exercise in futility, they basically decided that was "their" bar.

Then, one dude brings an old school boombox down, and turns on Gangsta Rap full blast. Of course, I didn't mind this, but plenty of other guests did, as he was shut down after 'Molly' and Afroman. :cop:
 
SUNDAY TENNISDAY!!! /checks in from Shillito Park

beautiful weather. great day to go topless (posts pic of penn ball sleeve with lid removed)

leave the book at home, bro. its racket time. booyah!! /checks in from harrods hill courts

reason #1,892 i have a great girlfriend.....she LOVES playing with balls. (posts selife of he and julia on the clay at lcc)

tough day at the office. /checks in mid-day from andover cc

the only thing standing between me and ricky bubbly is one more ace. #40-love. #straight sets #powerful ball striker

ive got a big racket, and someones about to get pounded (posts selfie while holding tennis racket in fellatial fashion)

my bff came to town to visit!!! /checks in at idle hour /snapchats pic giving johnboy a zj
 
Place we stayed in Cancun pretty much respected the towel on the chair rule. You got issued a towel card, had to turn it in and get it back everyday. I guess to cut down on the mass hoarding of chairs.

Literally would wake up at like 615, run down to the beach and mark a prime front row pair. I hate staring into the backs of other chairs and umbrellas. Need to see the water.
 
The highlight was when the groom lost his ring the day after the wedding in a pool volleyball game late in the evening. We watched this from our deck up top as we'd retired for the day...they swam around for about 45 minutes before they finally found it. Of course, after they found it, it was a 'new' reason to celebrate, and they turned it up a few more notches.

I got the entire thing on film, it's on my FB somewhere. Wife was freaking out & super pissed...had to be led off by her friends. It was awesome.

-The towel game is a part of resort life these days in most places, unfortunately. I don't have a problem with it until you see people come down at like 2pm to claim "their spots". I've moved people's shit on more than one occasion when the situation is being abused.

We play the game like anyone else, taking turns getting up by 5am to get the best pick -- but we're down there by 9-10am, leave for lunch, then come right back until late afternoon. If you're gonna be a prick and do that, at least USE it.

The last few we've just sacked up and prepaid/reserved a palapa/cabana for the week...and it's been worth it to not have the hassle. That's not in the budget next month tho. #TowelGame
 
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I almost can't believe Boat's Destin best friend is a guy named Johnboy who has a boat named "The Dirty Slut II." Almost.
 
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SUNDAY TENNISDAY!!! /checks in from Shillito Park

beautiful weather. great day to go topless (posts pic of penn ball sleeve with lid removed)

leave the book at home, bro. its racket time. booyah!! /checks in from harrods hill courts

reason #1,892 i have a great girlfriend.....she LOVES playing with balls. (posts selife of he and julia on the clay at lcc)

tough day at the office. /checks in mid-day from andover cc

the only thing standing between me and ricky bubbly is one more ace. #40-love. #straight sets #powerful ball striker

ive got a big racket, and someones about to get pounded (posts selfie while holding tennis racket in fellatial fashion)

my bff came to town to visit!!! /checks in at idle hour /snapchats pic giving johnboy a zj
:joy:
 
ClZ9MMa.jpg
 
"Mommy, how did you and daddy meet?"

"Well, honey, your father and I met when he tied his boat, the "Dirty Slut II", up to my friend's boat, "Got Tested?!?!" one magical summer afternoon on Crab Island..."
 
I almost can't believe Boat's Destin best friend is a guy named Johnboy who has a boat named "The Dirty Slut II." Almost.

The lass got to meet him on Sunday Funday. He walks up to her and says "If he calls me crying, I will hunt you down." She thought it was pretty funny, although he might have been serious.
 
Ha. I can.

Seriously though, Boat 'Tennis Shopping' is the funniest shopping adventure since I went church shopping, no?

Julia must really love him if they are still FB friends (which they are) after a prime week in Destin with that crew. Better hold onto her bub, she's obviously a good one -- I'd say that was the ultimate test.

My wife will probably retroactively divorce me, effective date Kirk's bachelor party, if she ever experiences Crab Island on a Holiday weekend around those idiots.
 
speaking of shopping....my parents have been home shopping for the past year or so. they've lived in the same spot for 30 years, but my dad is too old/fat/out of shape to get up and down all the stairs.

(sidenote: listening to the trials and tribulations of home shoppers who literally have not been in the market since 1985 is comical. EVERY house is a pos, is way overpriced, and needs a total gutjob. the owners should be happy with an offer of 60 cents on the dollar. take it or leave it. per them)

anyways, theyre downsizing, i guess --> into a 4 bed/4 bath, 5400 sq ft house that sits on ~ an acre. wtf?? pretty sure this is bigger than what they have now. oh, and it definitely needs a total remodel. so that should be fun.

no clue wtf they were thinking -- but there are tennis courts in the neighborhood.
 
My wife will probably retroactively divorce me, effective date Kirk's bachelor party, if she ever experiences Crab Island on a Holiday weekend around those idiots.

I don't see why you have to call them names just cause they live a different lifestyle than you.

Will be curious to see if Papa Ursch gets a tennis court. That could be fun. Been meaning to meet him out for a cocktail.
 
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*My wife had a procedure a couple weeks ago which left me alone with my three kids for about a week long stretch with the occasional help from my mother to keep me from going insane. That's a 9 year old fueled by the pure adrenaline of her last days of school and two 20 month olds. My daddy PER has to be through the roof right now. I cashed my chips in this long weekend with three straight days on the course.

*Did ESPN have Bill Simmons whacked? He's been underground since getting the boot, which is unlike him, you would think he would be out there trying to stay as visible as possible and tossing grenades at the WWL in the process. All his shit is still up on Grantland. Looks like ESPN has the rights but it's weird that his face and even the tab for his articles remain on the site.

*I find the inner workings of reality TV much more interesting than reality TV itself. It's common sense that so much of that stuff is set up but I always find it interesting as to what extent. I once had a client who was on Wife Swap and it was funny listening to the stories she would tell about how they manipulated the story line. And the majority of these survival shows, like Naked and Afraid, you would think it would be difficult to fake a lot of that...but surely they have more protection from predators and what not than they let on.

*My wife has dropped a cool 25 lbs and it's motivating me. I've got the dadbod :angry: going on from years now of, well, being a dad. It will never be like it was, that's a fact I've accepted...but my goal is to be down 15 to 20 lbs by Barron. I think it's doable but definitely more difficult than you think with kids and job in the mix.

*I once mastered the full gainer, don't even know if I still have the nerve.
 
You lecture your turbo-successful father on how poor of a financial/life decision he's making as an soon-to-be-old-man with a shit ton of money who's worked his ass off his entire life or nah?

If not, you should.

-I was being affectionate, Dr. Was more referring to the entire scene, not your buddies, who were all cool as shit. (and also drunken idiots, just like you, me, and everyone else there that weekend except Ursch) #muah
 
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I'm guessing ESPN/Simmons have reached or are working on a buyout and him STFU for the time being is part of the deal. He's still technically under contract, as far as I know.
 
-I was talking about the one you were talking about. Bob, ha. That'll never happen. Speaking of which, the crew is due a wedding, particularly one in NOLA. LEGGO.

-Who lives in that behemoth house across from Champions on Delaney Ferry? Passed it on the way back from Boyd Orchard this weekend. Actually 2 monster homes right across from each other.

-Kind of weird they're moving into a house. Talking my rents into a flat, condo was the best move they've made. Perfect for that lifestyle.

-We've talked about it and even with a bambino in route we just don't see any reason to buy a huge house. We'd like a little more house but don't need it. Too much to take care of.
 
just a curious decision," downsizing" to bigger house that will require significantly more upkeep/work.

the reason they wanted to move in the first place is because my dad literally cant even get around the current one.
 
*Did ESPN have Bill Simmons whacked? He's been underground since getting the boot, which is unlike him, you would think he would be out there trying to stay as visible as possible and tossing grenades at the WWL in the process. All his shit is still up on Grantland. Looks like ESPN has the rights but it's weird that his face and even the tab for his articles remain on the site.

*I find the inner workings of reality TV much more interesting than reality TV itself. It's common sense that so much of that stuff is set up but I always find it interesting as to what extent. I once had a client who was on Wife Swap and it was funny listening to the stories she would tell about how they manipulated the story line. And the majority of these survival shows, like Naked and Afraid, you would think it would be difficult to fake a lot of that...but surely they have more protection from predators and what not than they let on.

- Simmons is still getting paid until his contract expires in September but is inactive.

- Yeah, those people are waaaaay too comfortable around the croc/gator-infested water.
 
I like how Bob, just throws out -> "he's military" like it's a total get of jail free card. We all appreciate our military active/vets and love what they do but it's not a "OMG, you're right that guys not a douche/dick/weirdo/murderer" because he's military.

-Killa. Wheat belly is the easiest quickest I've found. Cut carbs. Pretty easy to drop 8-10#'s 3-4 weeks. Especially if you're out walking the course or working out. First 5-6 days are pretty miserable with headaches though.
 
When I was in college we had a waitress at Tailgaters* in Bowling Green that had recently been on Jerry Springer. As you might have guessed, all of that shit was completely made up. The funny part to me though was that she actually didn't even know what her "storyline" was going to be until right before the show started. IIRC, it was that she was sleeping with someone's husband, or some other highly original drama, etc... They basically instructed her to act like a **** and fighting was encouraged. She looked the part...pure skank, but an incredible body. She actually showed us her clit ring while we were having a few beers. So, yeah, she was pretty high class.

*It closed because a Serbian guy on our intramural basketball team got drunk there, drove home and killed someone, then fled the country.
 
Cousin was on Springer, same story, didn't know any of the people on stage at all. Got $500 and a free room to go up there. He was a male stripper at the time. No idea where he is now.
 
I like how Bob, just throws out -> "he's military" like it's a total get of jail free card. We all appreciate our military active/vets and love what they do but it's not a "OMG, you're right that guys not a douche/dick/weirdo/murderer" because he's military.

I agree, there are always bad apples. At least they tried to do something positive in their lives.
 
I like how Bob, just throws out -> "he's military" like it's a total get of jail free card. We all appreciate our military active/vets and love what they do but it's not a "OMG, you're right that guys not a douche/dick/weirdo/murderer" because he's military.

The tendency to deify soldiers in modern America is really bothersome to me. They are above reproach, or else you're an ungrateful terrorist loving shitbag. It really gets on my nerves.
 
It's not that I hate the Dirty Slut 2, it's just that I preferred doing jagerbombs and motorboating sloots on the original one more.
 
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I mean I do appreciate what they do since most of it recently involves being in a war zone they really shouldn't even be in. However, it doesn't weigh into my equation when I am judging character.

If you own a boat named Dirty Slut 2, and are over the age of 35, I'm judging you pretty harshly.
 
I'm guessing ESPN/Simmons have reached or are working on a buyout and him STFU for the time being is part of the deal. He's still technically under contract, as far as I know.
Good point. I guess I would STFU if it meant getting paid for the remainder of my deal to do nothing. Still, the whole way the deal is going down is strange.
 
Killa has owned 4-5 golf carts per household since he was born, he's not walking.

He should, though.

Jerry teases me weekly about walking, but I love it. Free, cooler on the bag, relaxing, and decent exercise. If I'm in a 'fun' game with buddies, no way...but out by myself, or playing a casual round? I actually PREFER it, no matter the savings.

I mean, all the best golfers in the world walk, me included...makes sense.
 
JB is engaged now, and he and his fiancé informed me this weekend when they get married (I'm a groomsman), they will be changing the name of the vessel. He will be turning 35 this year too. :pimp:

I guess a lot of this "pro military" is in response to 9/11 and how awful Americans treated the soldiers that came back from Vietnam. Support the troops, protest the leaders that sent them over there.
 
wtf were you thinking would happen, killa?

a mid-year least valuable exec award, calling out all of the high ranking espn brass for their various misgivings?
a trade value report of his fellow espn writers, giving the least amount of value to his most hated peers?
a 15,000-word pop culture piece, likening several of his co-workers to different hated tv and movie characters?
a weekly mailbag q&a, where he answers questions about how terrible espn is?

[eyeroll]
 
I enjoy walking the course...but I get about 1 1/2 rounds in a week if I'm lucky. 9 holes on men's night, a full round with friends either sat or sun, hardly leaves time to get out there for a stroll on the course.

I've continued to run during my lunch break around 3 times a week, trying to get some toning on free weights at home mixed in. Clean up the diet a little, chill on the beer intake.

Profit...hopefully.
 
wtf were you thinking would happen, killa?

a mid-year least valuable exec award, calling out all of the high ranking espn brass for their various misgivings?
a trade value report of his fellow espn writers, giving the least amount of value to his most hated peers?
a 15,000-word pop culture piece, likening several of his co-workers to different hated tv and movie characters?
a weekly mailbag q&a, where he answers questions about how terrible espn is?

[eyeroll]
Maybe
 
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