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Chicago Bachelor Party Ideas (no one does the Chi like the paddock)

N

NW50

Jul 1, 2003
257
708
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Hey dudes and dude-ettes

I am the best man for my best friend's wedding and we are heading to Chicago for the july 10-12 weekend as a group of 7 canucks showing Chi-Vegas what time it is. It's going to be #dope, but I am looking for suggestions for must-do's and can't-misses. We are 27-33 with disposable income

I know the sox/cubs game on the saturday is a must. As is giordano's. And drinking in Wrigleyville after the game. Please hook a honky up with some suggestions for other things we need to do!
 
ps - this new format is hella weak and i can't believe i lost all 5,000 of my posts. Faaaaar whoever changed it
 
WhirleyBall. Did this last year at a bachelor party and it was a blast. They have a decent tap list too. Make sure you have a reservation and its kind of a bitch to get to, depending where you are staying.

The strip clubs are garbage.

River North is trendy and clubby if thats your scene. RockIt bar there was always fun near where we usually stay when we go, but the girls in Wrigleyville are way more fun and there to party, bro.
 
NW50 said:
Please hook a honky up with some suggestions for other things we need to do!
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Off the top of my head, here's a quick itinerary of must-dos/sees:
  • Rent a Ferrari
  • Go to the Willis Tower (Sears Tower) observation deck
  • Visit the Chicago Board of Trade
  • Eat at Chez Quis -- use the alias "Abe Froman" for better service
  • Catch a Cubs game at Wrigley
  • Tour the Art Institute of Chicago
  • Crash a parade and sing Beatles's songs
YWIA
 
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Wear your "fat pants" and pack a bullet-proof vest if you head to the South-Side.
chicago2_0.png
 
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Willy4UK said:
NW50- Strippers and Escorts are the norm. Instead, I think you should have one buddy murder a homeless person and then hide the body somewhere in Chicago and then everyone participates in a Scavenger Hunt to find it.
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I would add that the body must be hidden in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Chicago like Garfield Park or the infamous O block on the south-side. This allows the scavenger hunters to become the hunted and raises the degree of difficulty.
 
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B.B.d.K. said:
Make sure you hit a pulled pork sambo when in the Windy One. Everything else is gravy after that.
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Anything that's gravy is your reason for living. I'll drop one in the fedex for you along with a picture of Marissa Miller and a special needs adult with a crew cut.

Lord_Crow said:
My first suggestion for the OP is to not talk like that. Ever.
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My first suggestion for you is to jackhammer your own butthole with your iPad after dipping it in a copious amount of melted velveeta and broken glass and putting it in the freezer overnight

blueboy08 said:
WhirleyBall. Did this last year at a bachelor party and it was a blast. They have a decent tap list too. Make sure you have a reservation and its kind of a bitch to get to, depending where you are staying.

The strip clubs are garbage.

River North is trendy and clubby if thats your scene. RockIt bar there was always fun near where we usually stay when we go, but the girls in Wrigleyville are way more fun and there to party, bro.
Click to expand...

Appreciate the tips, bruh

ThroughBlue said:
What are the prostitutes/whores like in Chi Town these days?
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I guess we will just have to find out which crack den your mother is holed up in and ask her now won't we?
 
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-LEK- said:
OP has been gone too long.
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Glad to be missed, doggie.

I used to have a job where I had a lot of downtime, and also had a lot of free time pre-kids. I now am a dad of two and work a very very busy 9-5, and also have all these other fun new distractions like twitter and Facebook and instagram. I miss the paddock, but just found I couldn't keep up and didn't bother coming around for quite a while. This new format is so odd.
 
-LEK- said:
what's your Twitter handle.
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My twitter blows. I work in Social Services, so I gotta be careful what I put out there. I used to have a pretty great trolling account but then too many people knew it was me and haters gonna hate.
 
NW50 is living that thug wigger life reppin C-Town and messin' fools up.

2448449-9552719803-weger.jpg
 
I can't help but hate the OP just because of the way he types. #dope? Chi-Vegas? Canucks? Hook a honky?

I don't think we would be friends in real life. Worst part is, you're probably 100X douchier in real life. I can't even begin to fathom how horrible the groom must be if he chose you as his best honky
 
NW50 said:
Really? Maybe if you make like 9 more paddock accounts and keep lobbing these steaming piles of shit, maybe one will eventually get lucky and register as partially amusing. In the interim, please keep doing what you do, but do it somewhere else. I'm sure there are lots of other forums where your winning combo of a two digit IQ and a childhood rife with your uncle's dick in your mouth will lead to a Barry Bonds type performance.
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:pimp:
 
Here's an idea! Why don't you plan a huge party for your best friend and soon to be partner by hiring a few strippers. Since you seem to be Cubs fans you can have a bunch of dudes come in dressed like Steve bartman. They could do tricks why getting lap dances trying to catch balls in their mouths. You will become an instant success. You could also have goats that the Steve bartmans could ride in on! Talk about best Chicago BP ever!!!!!!
 
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NW50 is going to drink a 7up, make a clumsy pass at the bridesmaid, walk around lighting off sprinkler fireworks as he flashes what he believes are gang signs only they're actually how you say "I'm gay" in sign language, then puke on himself and pass out.

Then he'll come back in here and tell us about how he was tossing up some fools, getting paid, and running the hoes because he's a straight up killa... bruh.
 
Please continue trying to engage him.
NW50 said:
Really? Maybe if you make like 9 more paddock accounts and keep lobbing these steaming piles of shit, maybe one will eventually get lucky and register as partially amusing. In the interim, please keep doing what you do, but do it somewhere else. I'm sure there are lots of other forums where your winning combo of a two digit IQ and a childhood rife with your uncle's dick in your mouth will lead to a Barry Bonds type performance.
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This is one of the best paddock responses in years.
 
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NW50 said:
Glad to be missed, doggie.

I used to have a job where I had a lot of downtime, and also had a lot of free time pre-kids. I now am a dad of two and work a very very busy 9-5, and also have all these other fun new distractions like twitter and Facebook and instagram. I miss the paddock, but just found I couldn't keep up and didn't bother coming around for quite a while. This new format is so odd.
Click to expand...
WTF's a 9-5?
 
NW50 said:
Really? Maybe if you make like 9 more paddock accounts and keep lobbing these steaming piles of shit, maybe one will eventually get lucky and register as partially amusing. In the interim, please keep doing what you do, but do it somewhere else. I'm sure there are lots of other forums where your winning combo of a two digit IQ and a childhood rife with your uncle's dick in your mouth will lead to a Barry Bonds type performance.
Click to expand...
I'm not sure whether to call you my hero or really pity your 2 children.
 
- Hit up Wrigleyville and yhe classic bars around the area pre/post game.

- Obviously a Cubs game.

- Lou Malnati's for pizza.

- Rivers Casino is nice and is a fun spot with a good crew.

- The Chicago strip clubs kind of suck, but there is a decent one by the Rivers Casino. Name escapes me, but it's the only one out there.

- Go to Portillo's and get an Italian beef/Chicago hot dogs/tamale/pizza puff/chocolate cake shake.
 
tommyg4uk said:
- Hit up Wrigleyville and yhe classic bars around the area pre/post game.

- Obviously a Cubs game.

- Lou Malnati's for pizza.

- Rivers Casino is nice and is a fun spot with a good crew.

- The Chicago strip clubs kind of suck, but there is a decent one by the Rivers Casino. Name escapes me, but it's the only one out there.

- Go to Portillo's and get an Italian beef/Chicago hot dogs/tamale/pizza puff/chocolate cake shake.
Click to expand...

Pulled pork or nah?
 
BBdK and I both worship Pequod's for deep-dish Chicago pizza.

Burt's Place in Morton Grove is also ridiculous, as he used to work at Pequod's before getting his own place. Burt's has gotten famous from Bourdain's show, that you have to call a day or two in advance and place your order and tell them what time you plan to arrive.

1Coalfire is next on my checklist to try in Chicago. Been voted best of Chicago, and if it's anything like Coal's in Louisville, I'm a fan.
 
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